WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.980 align:middle line:84% Am I suppose to ask for questions? 00:00:01.980 --> 00:00:05.670 align:middle line:90% 00:00:05.670 --> 00:00:07.583 align:middle line:84% Do they normally ask the questions? 00:00:07.583 --> 00:00:10.760 align:middle line:90% 00:00:10.760 --> 00:00:11.780 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:00:11.780 --> 00:00:12.530 align:middle line:90% It's short though. 00:00:12.530 --> 00:00:15.150 align:middle line:90% We're done, right? 00:00:15.150 --> 00:00:17.850 align:middle line:84% Well, you can ask them questions. 00:00:17.850 --> 00:00:19.970 align:middle line:90% God. 00:00:19.970 --> 00:00:21.080 align:middle line:90% Is there any questions? 00:00:21.080 --> 00:00:29.460 align:middle line:90% 00:00:29.460 --> 00:00:30.060 align:middle line:90% Really? 00:00:30.060 --> 00:00:33.060 align:middle line:90% I'm like a nine-minute person. 00:00:33.060 --> 00:00:35.410 align:middle line:84% But maybe if you ask a really bad question. 00:00:35.410 --> 00:00:37.590 align:middle line:90% I'll read the last two minutes. 00:00:37.590 --> 00:00:42.460 align:middle line:90% 00:00:42.460 --> 00:00:44.680 align:middle line:90% Yeah. 00:00:44.680 --> 00:00:47.050 align:middle line:90% I knew you'd go there. 00:00:47.050 --> 00:00:48.940 align:middle line:90% She went tautological on us. 00:00:48.940 --> 00:00:50.560 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:00:50.560 --> 00:00:51.250 align:middle line:90% Anyone else? 00:00:51.250 --> 00:00:57.270 align:middle line:90% 00:00:57.270 --> 00:00:58.230 align:middle line:90% Yeah, great. 00:00:58.230 --> 00:01:04.519 align:middle line:90% 00:01:04.519 --> 00:01:07.300 align:middle line:90% Hun? 00:01:07.300 --> 00:01:07.990 align:middle line:90% Yeah. 00:01:07.990 --> 00:01:10.480 align:middle line:90% That's a good one actually. 00:01:10.480 --> 00:01:14.320 align:middle line:84% I mean, for me, it was weird because I started 00:01:14.320 --> 00:01:17.230 align:middle line:84% writing really late like you meet those cats who were like, 00:01:17.230 --> 00:01:20.470 align:middle line:84% I wanted to be a writer since I was six. 00:01:20.470 --> 00:01:21.700 align:middle line:90% The fuck out of here. 00:01:21.700 --> 00:01:23.680 align:middle line:90% What do you know? 00:01:23.680 --> 00:01:25.840 align:middle line:84% So for me, it was like I didn't start 00:01:25.840 --> 00:01:27.970 align:middle line:90% writing until I was around 20. 00:01:27.970 --> 00:01:30.310 align:middle line:84% And I was like a historian before that. 00:01:30.310 --> 00:01:32.260 align:middle line:84% That was the thing I really wanted to be. 00:01:32.260 --> 00:01:35.110 align:middle line:90% 00:01:35.110 --> 00:01:37.120 align:middle line:84% What ended up happening was my friends 00:01:37.120 --> 00:01:40.270 align:middle line:84% they kept remembering things wrong. 00:01:40.270 --> 00:01:42.370 align:middle line:84% Every time we talked about our lives together, 00:01:42.370 --> 00:01:46.120 align:middle line:84% they would remember things wildly out of sync. 00:01:46.120 --> 00:01:48.370 align:middle line:84% But they would also just not remember the right things 00:01:48.370 --> 00:01:49.828 align:middle line:90% at all. 00:01:49.828 --> 00:01:52.120 align:middle line:84% And I'm sure I didn't remember the right things either. 00:01:52.120 --> 00:01:54.070 align:middle line:84% But I felt part of the reason I was writing 00:01:54.070 --> 00:01:57.220 align:middle line:84% was to create this physical document. 00:01:57.220 --> 00:01:59.312 align:middle line:84% Again, it was me being the historian thinking 00:01:59.312 --> 00:02:00.520 align:middle line:90% I would create this document. 00:02:00.520 --> 00:02:03.670 align:middle line:84% And it would be a place where we could argue from. 00:02:03.670 --> 00:02:06.320 align:middle line:84% So they could say, well, that's not correct. 00:02:06.320 --> 00:02:08.470 align:middle line:90% And part of it was that. 00:02:08.470 --> 00:02:11.950 align:middle line:84% I mean, I think that that's the real structural answer 00:02:11.950 --> 00:02:13.242 align:middle line:90% you always have. 00:02:13.242 --> 00:02:14.950 align:middle line:84% And most of us are looking for something. 00:02:14.950 --> 00:02:17.500 align:middle line:84% Because I couldn't rhyme and I couldn't write. 00:02:17.500 --> 00:02:21.140 align:middle line:84% And in my neighborhood that was like a serious blow. 00:02:21.140 --> 00:02:25.750 align:middle line:84% And so I was looking also with some way to be artistic. 00:02:25.750 --> 00:02:28.120 align:middle line:84% And I think that's one of the ways I found it. 00:02:28.120 --> 00:02:46.260 align:middle line:90% 00:02:46.260 --> 00:02:47.340 align:middle line:90% Damn. 00:02:47.340 --> 00:02:49.140 align:middle line:90% Where the teachers in here? 00:02:49.140 --> 00:02:49.770 align:middle line:90% You're a mess. 00:02:49.770 --> 00:03:04.460 align:middle line:90% 00:03:04.460 --> 00:03:06.500 align:middle line:84% There's someone in here, it's a good question 00:03:06.500 --> 00:03:12.140 align:middle line:84% because I think it's one of the things about writing 00:03:12.140 --> 00:03:13.790 align:middle line:90% is a pedagogical enterprise. 00:03:13.790 --> 00:03:16.187 align:middle line:90% And so it's really weird, right? 00:03:16.187 --> 00:03:17.270 align:middle line:90% I think it's really weird. 00:03:17.270 --> 00:03:18.645 align:middle line:84% I know what the rest of you want. 00:03:18.645 --> 00:03:20.690 align:middle line:84% I think it's very bizarre to sit-in a workshop 00:03:20.690 --> 00:03:24.110 align:middle line:84% and have six people being nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah. 00:03:24.110 --> 00:03:29.357 align:middle line:84% And then like one professor being she or he. 00:03:29.357 --> 00:03:31.190 align:middle line:84% And I don't know about the rest of you guys. 00:03:31.190 --> 00:03:34.220 align:middle line:84% I didn't grow up with grammar school with anything like that. 00:03:34.220 --> 00:03:36.830 align:middle line:90% So it's weird and it's alien. 00:03:36.830 --> 00:03:38.930 align:middle line:90% But it can be really helpful. 00:03:38.930 --> 00:03:41.090 align:middle line:84% And I think for me, there's someone here 00:03:41.090 --> 00:03:43.100 align:middle line:90% who is in a workshop with me. 00:03:43.100 --> 00:03:46.310 align:middle line:84% And he could tell you how badly received we were. 00:03:46.310 --> 00:03:51.770 align:middle line:84% People would read our work, and they would just be next. 00:03:51.770 --> 00:03:55.678 align:middle line:84% They didn't want to deal with us at all. 00:03:55.678 --> 00:03:57.470 align:middle line:84% I mean, there was people who were telling-- 00:03:57.470 --> 00:04:01.910 align:middle line:84% I remember people telling, Irvin, just wild ass shit. 00:04:01.910 --> 00:04:04.940 align:middle line:84% That any place else that you'd get beat up on the street. 00:04:04.940 --> 00:04:10.580 align:middle line:84% But in a workshop, everybody's like, I don't like your work. 00:04:10.580 --> 00:04:13.040 align:middle line:84% But without any context to it, I mean, 00:04:13.040 --> 00:04:16.310 align:middle line:84% I had yet to meet maybe some of you have been better workshops. 00:04:16.310 --> 00:04:17.959 align:middle line:84% But I've yet to ever been in a workshop 00:04:17.959 --> 00:04:20.450 align:middle line:84% where someone says just goes, you know what? 00:04:20.450 --> 00:04:24.840 align:middle line:84% I don't have the authority to speak on this story. 00:04:24.840 --> 00:04:27.632 align:middle line:84% And it's amazing that that doesn't happen more often. 00:04:27.632 --> 00:04:28.590 align:middle line:90% Because it's like what? 00:04:28.590 --> 00:04:32.100 align:middle line:90% Everybody knows everything? 00:04:32.100 --> 00:04:35.140 align:middle line:84% You all some wild motherfuckers if that's the way it is. 00:04:35.140 --> 00:04:36.990 align:middle line:84% And that's one of the things you have 00:04:36.990 --> 00:04:38.970 align:middle line:84% to watch out in a workshop is when everybody 00:04:38.970 --> 00:04:41.610 align:middle line:84% knows everything, and everybody's 00:04:41.610 --> 00:04:44.640 align:middle line:90% got an opinion on everything. 00:04:44.640 --> 00:04:46.300 align:middle line:90% Because they can be very useful. 00:04:46.300 --> 00:04:49.620 align:middle line:84% You can find people in them that can help you lie. 00:04:49.620 --> 00:04:50.970 align:middle line:90% And I'm not going to lie. 00:04:50.970 --> 00:04:54.000 align:middle line:84% Workshops help me shape my work a lot. 00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:56.370 align:middle line:84% But at the same time, you've got to be smart enough 00:04:56.370 --> 00:05:01.410 align:middle line:84% to avoid those pitfalls of the Renaissance people 00:05:01.410 --> 00:05:04.170 align:middle line:84% who are like, oh, you're writing about 17th century 00:05:04.170 --> 00:05:05.340 align:middle line:90% ink and practices under-- 00:05:05.340 --> 00:05:07.860 align:middle line:90% 00:05:07.860 --> 00:05:08.508 align:middle line:90% I don't know. 00:05:08.508 --> 00:05:10.300 align:middle line:84% I'm just like, what do you know about that? 00:05:10.300 --> 00:05:11.130 align:middle line:90% Go read a book. 00:05:11.130 --> 00:05:19.400 align:middle line:90% 00:05:19.400 --> 00:05:21.420 align:middle line:90% That seem the last. 00:05:21.420 --> 00:05:21.920 align:middle line:90% Go ahead. 00:05:21.920 --> 00:05:27.100 align:middle line:90% 00:05:27.100 --> 00:05:27.600 align:middle line:90% Yeah. 00:05:27.600 --> 00:05:30.360 align:middle line:90% 00:05:30.360 --> 00:05:32.430 align:middle line:90% Yes. 00:05:32.430 --> 00:05:33.435 align:middle line:90% They'll fire me soon. 00:05:33.435 --> 00:05:36.810 align:middle line:90% 00:05:36.810 --> 00:05:38.250 align:middle line:90% Yeah, I mean, for real. 00:05:38.250 --> 00:05:40.440 align:middle line:90% They'll fire me soon. 00:05:40.440 --> 00:05:41.490 align:middle line:90% Part of it is just-- 00:05:41.490 --> 00:05:48.460 align:middle line:90% 00:05:48.460 --> 00:05:55.560 align:middle line:90% I mean, last time, I looked. 00:05:55.560 --> 00:05:59.910 align:middle line:84% My students don't look like anybody from where I come from. 00:05:59.910 --> 00:06:01.200 align:middle line:90% So I'm not relating to them. 00:06:01.200 --> 00:06:02.700 align:middle line:84% It's just that you get after a while 00:06:02.700 --> 00:06:07.410 align:middle line:84% and you get tired of putting on your white person mask, 00:06:07.410 --> 00:06:10.590 align:middle line:84% where you're speaking in translatable speak. 00:06:10.590 --> 00:06:12.690 align:middle line:84% And you come to a certain age, where you just 00:06:12.690 --> 00:06:15.085 align:middle line:90% don't want to do it anymore. 00:06:15.085 --> 00:06:17.085 align:middle line:84% Especially when you're trying to teach children. 00:06:17.085 --> 00:06:20.760 align:middle line:90% 00:06:20.760 --> 00:06:21.330 align:middle line:90% No, you do. 00:06:21.330 --> 00:06:22.122 align:middle line:90% That's what I mean. 00:06:22.122 --> 00:06:25.380 align:middle line:84% There comes an age when you just don't want to do anymore. 00:06:25.380 --> 00:06:28.650 align:middle line:84% When I crack out my friends will be up in their projects. 00:06:28.650 --> 00:06:29.670 align:middle line:90% And they'll be talking. 00:06:29.670 --> 00:06:31.837 align:middle line:84% And then they've got to make a phone call somewhere. 00:06:31.837 --> 00:06:33.990 align:middle line:84% And they're like, yes, could you tell me? 00:06:33.990 --> 00:06:37.500 align:middle line:90% 00:06:37.500 --> 00:06:40.587 align:middle line:84% And there does come a time where you don't feel. 00:06:40.587 --> 00:06:42.420 align:middle line:84% I mean, there's always a performative aspect 00:06:42.420 --> 00:06:45.180 align:middle line:84% to everything around us, the way we present ourselves. 00:06:45.180 --> 00:06:47.130 align:middle line:84% But for me, it just became a time 00:06:47.130 --> 00:06:50.400 align:middle line:84% where I was just sick and tired of going home and feeling 00:06:50.400 --> 00:06:51.465 align:middle line:90% like a parody of myself. 00:06:51.465 --> 00:06:54.790 align:middle line:90% 00:06:54.790 --> 00:06:55.660 align:middle line:90% I don't know. 00:06:55.660 --> 00:06:58.080 align:middle line:84% You're working with young people a lot of times. 00:06:58.080 --> 00:06:59.830 align:middle line:84% People who work in the English department, 00:06:59.830 --> 00:07:01.270 align:middle line:84% critically, they're always talking 00:07:01.270 --> 00:07:04.570 align:middle line:84% about empowering all sorts of voices and lots of us a lot. 00:07:04.570 --> 00:07:06.730 align:middle line:84% But God forbid the voices are in the department. 00:07:06.730 --> 00:07:09.730 align:middle line:90% 00:07:09.730 --> 00:07:13.480 align:middle line:84% I mean, they want them very much mitigated. 00:07:13.480 --> 00:07:20.353 align:middle line:84% I mean, we were joking around earlier about how often. 00:07:20.353 --> 00:07:22.270 align:middle line:84% You got to love when kids are here by the way. 00:07:22.270 --> 00:07:24.520 align:middle line:84% It makes it feel like it's a normal reading. 00:07:24.520 --> 00:07:27.550 align:middle line:84% But a lot of times, these voices, 00:07:27.550 --> 00:07:29.500 align:middle line:90% they want to mitigate it. 00:07:29.500 --> 00:07:31.750 align:middle line:84% They don't mind someone who comes from someplace poor. 00:07:31.750 --> 00:07:33.527 align:middle line:84% But he's got to have all the codes down, 00:07:33.527 --> 00:07:35.110 align:middle line:84% or she has to have all the codes down. 00:07:35.110 --> 00:07:38.920 align:middle line:90% 00:07:38.920 --> 00:07:41.230 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:07:41.230 --> 00:07:43.100 align:middle line:90% Enough meanness. 00:07:43.100 --> 00:07:46.500 align:middle line:84% Let's see why my students are ready to run me out. 00:07:46.500 --> 00:07:47.000 align:middle line:90%