She envisions heaven as a small town in 3:74 Almost contented
to be among such unique society.
Yet in one of her most famous poems
about wanting to witness the light when she might
see the King at death's point.
After giving everything in her life away with
friends gathered in tears or after tears.
In poem 465 such vision is denied for I
heard a fly buzz when I died.
The stillness in the room was like the stillness of the air
between the heaves of storm.
The eyes around had wrung them dry
and breaths were gathering firm for that last onset.
When the King be witnessed in the room.
I willed my keepsake.
Signed away what portion of me be assignable.
And then it was, there interposed a fly
with blue uncertain stumbling buzz between the light and me.
And then the windows failed.
And then I could not see, to see.
One could say she is a woman of faith,
for it is faith not vision that she is allowed of grace.
Yet she often doubts too and she did not
consider herself a Christian because she had not
been carried away, though she has been so by love.
So for God she must conform herself.
She must be like that fine service put away
in its cupboard, or as she says in 7:51,
so I the un divine abode of his elect content
conform my soul, as 'twere a church, unto her sacrament.