WEBVTT

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I haven't checked
the audience out.

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But before I read
this poem, I want

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to stress that although it's
something that really happened

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to me is also allegory.

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And you'll understand why I say
this after I've read the poem.

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It's called "The
Day Young Zimmer

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Fought for his Life with
the One Armed Storekeeper".

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"Always he had seemed bilious,
somehow capable of mayhem.

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But I don't know why
he started swinging.

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Perhaps because I only
spent a penny at a time.

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Perhaps because he
had it last decided

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to make the world into a place
where one armed men could

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wholly live.

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At any rate, he's pledged
my pimply crew cut head

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and abruptly knocked me
back into confections.

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He cornered me in boyhood.

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And before I could
grow pubic hairs,

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it was time to defend my tender
life and the rights of two

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armed people everywhere.

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I aimed my scruffy buster
brown right for his gonads

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and got him square.

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And then I ran until I dropped.

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To this day, one armed
people make me sweat.

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I avoid railroad tracks,
ringers, and bandsaws,

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all places where I might
suddenly be equalized."

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[LAUGHTER]

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[APPLAUSE]

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