WEBVTT

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This next poem is
called "Picnic Weather."

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And it's about a
picnic that I had had.

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I should confess right here
that I failed out of two schools

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before finally getting a degree.

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And the first one was
pretty legitimate.

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It was the University
of Minnesota.

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A lot of people fail
out of that one.

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But the second one was a school
in northern Montana called

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Northern Montana
College up in Havre.

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And to give you an
idea of how awful it

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was to fail out of this school,
the University of Montana

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used to send their
football players up there

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during the off season to bring
up their grade point averages.

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[LAUGHTER]

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I have since been informed
that only three of us

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have failed out in the
history of the school.

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[LAUGHTER]

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But before I did fail out I got
to go to the spring picnic--

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[LAUGHTER]

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--which was on Beaver Creek
up in the Bear Paw Mountains.

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And I guess all it was, was just
the food service transported

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the wieners and hot dogs
out to the Bear Paws,

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and we had this picnic.

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But we used to take a
lot of beer out with us,

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and it was a lot of fun anyway.

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But to get to the
real point there

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was a guy who lived right
across the hall in my dormitory.

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I won't give you his full name.

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His first name was Nick.

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And Nick was the Montana
heavyweight weight

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wrestling champ in Montana,
and he was just a monster.

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And so we used to
have to devise ways

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to keep him entertained so that
he wouldn't take it out on us.

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And well, the idea
is that at the picnic

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Nick was getting
pretty drunk so we--

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it was in the
spring of the year,

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and it was really cold that day.

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And the bullsnakes
were just coming out,

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and they are very cold.

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And you could catch
them very easily then,

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and so we would catch them.

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And we would all run and grab a
bullsnake and bring it to Nick.

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And Nick would grab
the snake by the tail,

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and he'd start
snapping it like this.

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And pretty soon it would go
pop, and he snapped the head

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of the snake right off.

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And so we'd go running
and find another snake.

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[LAUGHTER]

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It was either us or the snake.

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So I wrote this poem called
"Picnic Weather," which doesn't

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have anything to do with Nick.

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But it has something
to do with the snakes.

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And somebody said it
might even be a love poem.

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I don't know.

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I know the songs we sang.

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The old routine.

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The dozen masks you
painted when we left you.

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Alone afraid
frightened of yourself.

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The day the bullsnakes
rose seething out of dreams

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has made you what you are.

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Alone afraid stronger.

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Here we go again.

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The same sad tune.

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You knew you would
die some night alone.

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No folks and I no face alone.

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Weaker in the knees
and in the heart.

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Picture this as your epitaph.

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The bullsnakes
rising against you.

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You popping their necks
with a clean jerk.

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And the sky the
drab blue of spring.

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Winter now.

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Here your image dies.

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I can't grab hold of
you like the snakes.

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I know the dream.

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You alone stronger than the
night I popped your neck,

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left you squirming
on the ground.

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Afraid you'd find your
hole and disappear.

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And me my fingers
strung around your head.

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My head making clicking sounds.

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Nothing like the
music in your bones.

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