WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.750 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.750 --> 00:00:07.150 align:middle line:84% Now, I'm going to read some of this novel. 00:00:07.150 --> 00:00:08.025 align:middle line:90% A couple of sections. 00:00:08.025 --> 00:00:12.540 align:middle line:90% 00:00:12.540 --> 00:00:18.030 align:middle line:84% This first section, the narrator of the novel 00:00:18.030 --> 00:00:19.755 align:middle line:90% is off on a kind of search. 00:00:19.755 --> 00:00:23.070 align:middle line:90% 00:00:23.070 --> 00:00:28.020 align:middle line:84% He lives a life of haying in the summertime and feeding 00:00:28.020 --> 00:00:31.560 align:middle line:84% cattle in the wintertime, and going off 00:00:31.560 --> 00:00:35.160 align:middle line:84% almost all the time on drinking sprees, 00:00:35.160 --> 00:00:38.610 align:middle line:84% and then coming back and working and going off again. 00:00:38.610 --> 00:00:42.870 align:middle line:84% It's sort of a common problem on a lot of reservations. 00:00:42.870 --> 00:00:46.650 align:middle line:84% This book takes place on the Fort Belknap Reservation 00:00:46.650 --> 00:00:48.780 align:middle line:90% in North Central Montana. 00:00:48.780 --> 00:00:57.230 align:middle line:84% But in this particular passage, the narrator meets a man who-- 00:00:57.230 --> 00:01:01.170 align:middle line:84% he's from New York, and he's absconded with some funds. 00:01:01.170 --> 00:01:06.060 align:middle line:84% It's not quite clear where he worked or how he did it. 00:01:06.060 --> 00:01:09.930 align:middle line:84% But this is just a bar room scene. 00:01:09.930 --> 00:01:14.700 align:middle line:90% And it's about fish. 00:01:14.700 --> 00:01:16.830 align:middle line:84% The narrator insists there are no fish around, 00:01:16.830 --> 00:01:19.800 align:middle line:84% and everybody else insists there are. 00:01:19.800 --> 00:01:21.117 align:middle line:90% I'm a fisherman. 00:01:21.117 --> 00:01:24.260 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHS] Not successful. 00:01:24.260 --> 00:01:25.700 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:25.700 --> 00:01:27.140 align:middle line:90% 00:01:27.140 --> 00:01:29.540 align:middle line:84% "'Nothing to be done about it,' the man said. 00:01:29.540 --> 00:01:32.570 align:middle line:84% He dabbed his cigar into the bottom of the ashtray. 00:01:32.570 --> 00:01:34.190 align:middle line:90% 'Happens all the time. 00:01:34.190 --> 00:01:35.690 align:middle line:90% Hell, you're not unique. 00:01:35.690 --> 00:01:37.970 align:middle line:90% Happened to me plenty of times.' 00:01:37.970 --> 00:01:39.650 align:middle line:84% We were sitting at the bar of the Pomp 00:01:39.650 --> 00:01:43.400 align:middle line:84% Room, which was connected to the Regent's Roost Hotel. 00:01:43.400 --> 00:01:45.200 align:middle line:90% The man was from New York. 00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:47.030 align:middle line:84% He had shown me his credit cards when 00:01:47.030 --> 00:01:48.980 align:middle line:90% I said I didn't believe him. 00:01:48.980 --> 00:01:50.330 align:middle line:90% 'Will you take me? 00:01:50.330 --> 00:01:53.180 align:middle line:84% Do I look like the sort who would run out on a wife and two 00:01:53.180 --> 00:01:54.500 align:middle line:90% beautiful daughters? 00:01:54.500 --> 00:01:57.800 align:middle line:84% Hell, by your standards, I was a rich man.' 00:01:57.800 --> 00:02:00.920 align:middle line:84% 'You look rich enough to me,' I said, and he did. 00:02:00.920 --> 00:02:03.140 align:middle line:84% He had on one of those khaki outfits 00:02:03.140 --> 00:02:04.970 align:middle line:90% that African hunters wear. 00:02:04.970 --> 00:02:08.570 align:middle line:84% I thought of MacLeod and Henderson in the sports afield. 00:02:08.570 --> 00:02:11.360 align:middle line:84% His outfit was crisp with a flowery handkerchief 00:02:11.360 --> 00:02:13.130 align:middle line:90% tied around his neck. 00:02:13.130 --> 00:02:14.870 align:middle line:90% 'Well, that's another story. 00:02:14.870 --> 00:02:16.880 align:middle line:84% We're trying to solve your problems.' 00:02:16.880 --> 00:02:17.930 align:middle line:90% Problems? 00:02:17.930 --> 00:02:19.070 align:middle line:90% Of course. 00:02:19.070 --> 00:02:21.620 align:middle line:84% The only problem I had now was trying 00:02:21.620 --> 00:02:25.250 align:middle line:84% to stay out of the way of the man I had helped Dougie roll. 00:02:25.250 --> 00:02:28.130 align:middle line:84% That was the only problem that was still clear to me. 00:02:28.130 --> 00:02:30.200 align:middle line:90% The others had gone away. 00:02:30.200 --> 00:02:33.440 align:middle line:84% Chance, dumb, unadulterated damn luck. 00:02:33.440 --> 00:02:35.540 align:middle line:84% I was on my way to the Middle East, 00:02:35.540 --> 00:02:37.550 align:middle line:90% had my tickets in my hand. 00:02:37.550 --> 00:02:40.760 align:middle line:84% I drained off my beer and pointed at the empty bottle. 00:02:40.760 --> 00:02:41.900 align:middle line:90% Barman. 00:02:41.900 --> 00:02:43.910 align:middle line:84% Damned if I didn't just turn around, 00:02:43.910 --> 00:02:47.060 align:middle line:84% halfway to the plane and everything, tore up my ticket 00:02:47.060 --> 00:02:48.680 align:middle line:90% right in front of her. 00:02:48.680 --> 00:02:51.500 align:middle line:84% My jacket was drying on the stool next to me. 00:02:51.500 --> 00:02:53.810 align:middle line:84% I had stopped shivering hours ago, 00:02:53.810 --> 00:02:56.930 align:middle line:84% just after he had bought me my first boilermaker. 00:02:56.930 --> 00:02:59.570 align:middle line:84% I had felt a little self-conscious coming in, 00:02:59.570 --> 00:03:01.970 align:middle line:84% but the second one took care of that. 00:03:01.970 --> 00:03:05.780 align:middle line:84% Now, even the fear of a beating or even getting killed 00:03:05.780 --> 00:03:07.640 align:middle line:90% was subsiding. 00:03:07.640 --> 00:03:10.970 align:middle line:84% I lit one of the cigars that lay on the bar, 00:03:10.970 --> 00:03:13.340 align:middle line:84% picked up my fishing gear, and drove away. 00:03:13.340 --> 00:03:15.840 align:middle line:84% 'You won't have much luck here,' I said. 00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:16.340 align:middle line:90% 'What? 00:03:16.340 --> 00:03:18.950 align:middle line:84% Fish?' 'You won't have much luck here. 00:03:18.950 --> 00:03:22.790 align:middle line:84% Cut a mess of them yesterday, but there are no fish around 00:03:22.790 --> 00:03:23.390 align:middle line:90% here.' 00:03:23.390 --> 00:03:26.210 align:middle line:84% 'Pike three of them over five pounds. 00:03:26.210 --> 00:03:29.630 align:middle line:84% Caught one big northern in Minnesota that ran over 30.' 00:03:29.630 --> 00:03:31.100 align:middle line:90% 'That was Minnesota. 00:03:31.100 --> 00:03:32.480 align:middle line:90% That wasn't here. 00:03:32.480 --> 00:03:34.940 align:middle line:84% You'd be lucky to catch a cold here.' 00:03:34.940 --> 00:03:37.040 align:middle line:84% 'Caught some nice little rainbows too. 00:03:37.040 --> 00:03:39.980 align:middle line:84% Pan size.' 'There aren't any rainbows.' 00:03:39.980 --> 00:03:41.190 align:middle line:90% He looked at me. 00:03:41.190 --> 00:03:44.600 align:middle line:84% He was a big man, soft and healthy like a baby. 00:03:44.600 --> 00:03:47.060 align:middle line:84% He combed his gray hair straight back 00:03:47.060 --> 00:03:50.690 align:middle line:84% so his red-veined nose seemed too big for his face. 00:03:50.690 --> 00:03:51.680 align:middle line:90% 'Tell you what.' 00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:53.600 align:middle line:90% He snorted into his hand. 00:03:53.600 --> 00:03:55.490 align:middle line:84% 'I'll take you out with me tomorrow, 00:03:55.490 --> 00:03:57.560 align:middle line:84% and if we don't catch any fish, I'll 00:03:57.560 --> 00:04:00.230 align:middle line:84% buy you the biggest steak in-- where are we? 00:04:00.230 --> 00:04:01.130 align:middle line:90% Malta. 00:04:01.130 --> 00:04:02.510 align:middle line:90% You have an outfit?' 00:04:02.510 --> 00:04:05.030 align:middle line:84% 'At home, but that's 50 miles away.' 00:04:05.030 --> 00:04:06.270 align:middle line:90% 'No problem. 00:04:06.270 --> 00:04:08.390 align:middle line:84% I've got a spinning rig you can use. 00:04:08.390 --> 00:04:11.000 align:middle line:84% Furthermore, I'll use my fly rod. 00:04:11.000 --> 00:04:13.220 align:middle line:84% And if I don't catch more fish than you, 00:04:13.220 --> 00:04:15.020 align:middle line:90% you can have both outfits. 00:04:15.020 --> 00:04:17.149 align:middle line:90% Now, you can't beat that deal.' 00:04:17.149 --> 00:04:20.269 align:middle line:84% I calculated how much both outfits would be worth. 00:04:20.269 --> 00:04:22.910 align:middle line:84% 'What if neither one of us catches any fish?' 00:04:22.910 --> 00:04:25.700 align:middle line:84% 'I'll throw in the biggest steak in Kalamazoo.' 00:04:25.700 --> 00:04:28.550 align:middle line:84% 'There are no fish in the river,' I said confidently. 00:04:28.550 --> 00:04:30.290 align:middle line:90% 'Not even a sucker.' 00:04:30.290 --> 00:04:33.080 align:middle line:84% 'Hell.' He winked at the bartender who had been 00:04:33.080 --> 00:04:37.040 align:middle line:84% listening, then ordered another boilermaker for me and a double 00:04:37.040 --> 00:04:38.780 align:middle line:90% scotch for himself. 00:04:38.780 --> 00:04:42.050 align:middle line:84% 'Get one for yourself,' he called after the bartender. 00:04:42.050 --> 00:04:44.310 align:middle line:84% Two men in suits opened the door. 00:04:44.310 --> 00:04:47.120 align:middle line:84% Then as though they realized this was the wrong place, 00:04:47.120 --> 00:04:48.560 align:middle line:90% they hesitated. 00:04:48.560 --> 00:04:51.350 align:middle line:84% After a short conversation, they came in, 00:04:51.350 --> 00:04:55.820 align:middle line:84% moving down the bar like cows on slick ice, their eyes not yet 00:04:55.820 --> 00:04:58.880 align:middle line:84% adjusted to the dimness of the small blue lights 00:04:58.880 --> 00:05:00.140 align:middle line:90% in the ceiling. 00:05:00.140 --> 00:05:03.740 align:middle line:84% As they passed me, I smelled the wet wool of their suits. 00:05:03.740 --> 00:05:05.480 align:middle line:90% One of them giggled. 00:05:05.480 --> 00:05:08.420 align:middle line:84% The bartender followed them down the other side of the bar 00:05:08.420 --> 00:05:10.310 align:middle line:90% as though he were stalking them. 00:05:10.310 --> 00:05:11.870 align:middle line:90% He was a skinny man. 00:05:11.870 --> 00:05:14.420 align:middle line:84% His red vest and black string tie 00:05:14.420 --> 00:05:17.060 align:middle line:84% made him look like a frontier gambler, 00:05:17.060 --> 00:05:20.450 align:middle line:84% but he knew all the baseball scores and had been to New York 00:05:20.450 --> 00:05:21.620 align:middle line:90% once. 00:05:21.620 --> 00:05:23.600 align:middle line:84% Standing a few feet away from me, 00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:25.580 align:middle line:90% a barmaid leaned on her tray. 00:05:25.580 --> 00:05:28.550 align:middle line:84% She poked the ice cubes in her Coke with her finger 00:05:28.550 --> 00:05:30.980 align:middle line:84% and glared at herself in the mirror. 00:05:30.980 --> 00:05:33.140 align:middle line:84% Although I couldn't see a cigarette near her, 00:05:33.140 --> 00:05:35.390 align:middle line:90% she was blowing smoke rings. 00:05:35.390 --> 00:05:37.310 align:middle line:84% The two men sat down on the other side 00:05:37.310 --> 00:05:40.070 align:middle line:84% of the man who had torn up his airplane ticket. 00:05:40.070 --> 00:05:40.880 align:middle line:90% 'What do you think? 00:05:40.880 --> 00:05:42.140 align:middle line:90% Shall I ask him?' 00:05:42.140 --> 00:05:44.240 align:middle line:90% 'About the fish?' 'What else? 00:05:44.240 --> 00:05:46.010 align:middle line:90% What else were we talking about? 00:05:46.010 --> 00:05:48.920 align:middle line:84% Or would you rather admit you made a mistake?' 00:05:48.920 --> 00:05:50.210 align:middle line:90% I shook my head. 00:05:50.210 --> 00:05:52.460 align:middle line:84% 'You said you got a mess of gold eyes.' 00:05:52.460 --> 00:05:53.730 align:middle line:90% 'Did I say that?' 00:05:53.730 --> 00:05:55.040 align:middle line:90% 'But you're mistaken. 00:05:55.040 --> 00:05:57.230 align:middle line:84% There aren't any gold eyes in this river. 00:05:57.230 --> 00:05:59.330 align:middle line:84% I've never even heard of gold eyes.' 00:05:59.330 --> 00:06:01.160 align:middle line:90% He turned to the men in suits. 00:06:01.160 --> 00:06:03.710 align:middle line:84% 'This man says there are no fish around here.' 00:06:03.710 --> 00:06:05.420 align:middle line:90% The two suits looked up. 00:06:05.420 --> 00:06:07.280 align:middle line:90% One had a red tie. 00:06:07.280 --> 00:06:10.100 align:middle line:84% 'He says there are no fish around here,' he repeated. 00:06:10.100 --> 00:06:12.410 align:middle line:84% 'Why, that's false,' the first suit said. 00:06:12.410 --> 00:06:15.230 align:middle line:84% 'There are pike in the reservoir south of town. 00:06:15.230 --> 00:06:18.200 align:middle line:84% Just the other day I caught a nice bunch.' 00:06:18.200 --> 00:06:21.410 align:middle line:84% 'In the reservoir south of town,' the second suit said. 00:06:21.410 --> 00:06:24.110 align:middle line:84% 'Aye, you see?' said the man who had torn up his airplane 00:06:24.110 --> 00:06:24.860 align:middle line:90% ticket. 00:06:24.860 --> 00:06:26.240 align:middle line:90% 'But not in the river. 00:06:26.240 --> 00:06:29.030 align:middle line:84% It is too muddy, and the fish can't see your bait. 00:06:29.030 --> 00:06:30.230 align:middle line:90% Not likely. 00:06:30.230 --> 00:06:33.020 align:middle line:84% It's clear and cold and the fish are firm.' 00:06:33.020 --> 00:06:34.790 align:middle line:90% 'Yes,' said the second suit. 00:06:34.790 --> 00:06:37.610 align:middle line:84% 'Just the other day, my wife and her girlfriend 00:06:37.610 --> 00:06:41.210 align:middle line:84% fished in the river, and they said it was clear and cold. 00:06:41.210 --> 00:06:43.940 align:middle line:84% I have often remarked on the clarity of the water. 00:06:43.940 --> 00:06:48.830 align:middle line:84% It isn't muddy like the reservoir south of town.' 00:06:48.830 --> 00:06:50.660 align:middle line:90% First suit tasted his drink. 00:06:50.660 --> 00:06:53.770 align:middle line:84% He fished out a cherry and nibbled at it. 'No matter. 00:06:53.770 --> 00:06:55.670 align:middle line:90% No fish there anyway. 00:06:55.670 --> 00:06:57.470 align:middle line:90% 'In the reservoir?' I asked. 00:06:57.470 --> 00:07:00.620 align:middle line:84% 'Hell no,' said the man who had torn up his airplane ticket. 00:07:00.620 --> 00:07:02.900 align:middle line:90% 'In the creek west of here. 00:07:02.900 --> 00:07:05.360 align:middle line:84% The reservoir is full of sunfish.' 00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:09.260 align:middle line:84% Second suit who had finished his drink ordered another round. 00:07:09.260 --> 00:07:12.390 align:middle line:84% He lifted his replenished glass to the mirror and said, 00:07:12.390 --> 00:07:15.200 align:middle line:84% 'I don't understand these people around here.' 00:07:15.200 --> 00:07:17.870 align:middle line:84% 'Neither do I,' said the man who had torn up his airplane 00:07:17.870 --> 00:07:18.530 align:middle line:90% ticket. 00:07:18.530 --> 00:07:20.660 align:middle line:90% 'Hell, it's uncanny.' 00:07:20.660 --> 00:07:23.600 align:middle line:84% I began to feel the effects of the boilermakers. 00:07:23.600 --> 00:07:25.580 align:middle line:84% I winked at myself in the mirror, 00:07:25.580 --> 00:07:29.240 align:middle line:84% and the barmaid who had returned glared back. 00:07:29.240 --> 00:07:31.640 align:middle line:84% 'I don't understand the people around here, 00:07:31.640 --> 00:07:33.440 align:middle line:90% like that man down there.' 00:07:33.440 --> 00:07:35.780 align:middle line:84% I pointed down the bar to second suit. 00:07:35.780 --> 00:07:37.910 align:middle line:90% He was fiddling with a camera. 00:07:37.910 --> 00:07:39.020 align:middle line:90% 'I wouldn't know. 00:07:39.020 --> 00:07:40.070 align:middle line:90% I'm new here.' 00:07:40.070 --> 00:07:41.810 align:middle line:90% She blew more smoke rings. 00:07:41.810 --> 00:07:44.270 align:middle line:84% There was still no cigarette near her. 00:07:44.270 --> 00:07:45.350 align:middle line:90% 'Wait a minute. 00:07:45.350 --> 00:07:46.670 align:middle line:90% Just a minute here.' 00:07:46.670 --> 00:07:48.800 align:middle line:84% The man who had torn up his airplane ticket 00:07:48.800 --> 00:07:50.630 align:middle line:90% looked past me at the girl. 00:07:50.630 --> 00:07:52.940 align:middle line:84% 'Don't I know you from someplace?' 00:07:52.940 --> 00:07:54.080 align:middle line:90% 'How should I know?' 00:07:54.080 --> 00:07:56.900 align:middle line:84% 'But I've seen you before, somewhere else. 00:07:56.900 --> 00:07:59.240 align:middle line:90% My memory is like a steel trap.' 00:07:59.240 --> 00:08:00.800 align:middle line:90% He narrowed his eyes. 00:08:00.800 --> 00:08:02.720 align:middle line:90% 'Bismarck, North Dakota?' 00:08:02.720 --> 00:08:04.040 align:middle line:90% She shook her head. 00:08:04.040 --> 00:08:07.520 align:middle line:84% 'Minneapolis?' She blew a smoke ring at the mirror. 00:08:07.520 --> 00:08:08.300 align:middle line:90% 'That's funny. 00:08:08.300 --> 00:08:10.160 align:middle line:90% You sure it wasn't Chicago?' 00:08:10.160 --> 00:08:11.450 align:middle line:90% 'I've never been there. 00:08:11.450 --> 00:08:13.370 align:middle line:90% I might be from the West Coast.' 00:08:13.370 --> 00:08:14.240 align:middle line:90% 'That's it. 00:08:14.240 --> 00:08:17.450 align:middle line:84% Seattle.' His elbow bounced off my ribs. 00:08:17.450 --> 00:08:18.710 align:middle line:90% 'Hi, you see? 00:08:18.710 --> 00:08:20.390 align:middle line:90% Seattle?' I asked. 00:08:20.390 --> 00:08:23.390 align:middle line:84% 'I wouldn't be from Seattle for all the rice in China.' 00:08:23.390 --> 00:08:25.680 align:middle line:84% She counted some coins on her tray. 00:08:25.680 --> 00:08:27.570 align:middle line:84% 'Now, Portland might be different. 00:08:27.570 --> 00:08:29.390 align:middle line:90% They've got roses there.' 00:08:29.390 --> 00:08:32.150 align:middle line:84% 'My mother raises morning glories,' I said. 00:08:32.150 --> 00:08:33.500 align:middle line:90% 'Los Angeles? 00:08:33.500 --> 00:08:35.179 align:middle line:90% I hate morning glories. 00:08:35.179 --> 00:08:37.594 align:middle line:84% I hate anything to do with the morning.'" 00:08:37.594 --> 00:08:39.770 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:08:39.770 --> 00:08:41.360 align:middle line:90% "'But that's just the name. 00:08:41.360 --> 00:08:43.370 align:middle line:90% They bloom in the evening too. 00:08:43.370 --> 00:08:46.430 align:middle line:84% Even at night, I can smell them outside my window. 00:08:46.430 --> 00:08:49.790 align:middle line:84% Our cat used to lie on them because it was cool. 00:08:49.790 --> 00:08:52.957 align:middle line:84% Our cat smothered my baby sister.'" 00:08:52.957 --> 00:08:55.760 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:08:55.760 --> 00:08:58.620 align:middle line:84% "'He lay on her face one night and she couldn't breathe. 00:08:58.620 --> 00:09:00.440 align:middle line:84% She would have looked just like me, 00:09:00.440 --> 00:09:02.600 align:middle line:84% only she had a birthmark right here.' 00:09:02.600 --> 00:09:05.060 align:middle line:84% She pressed her finger into the side of her neck. 00:09:05.060 --> 00:09:07.760 align:middle line:84% She leaned closer, still without looking at me, 00:09:07.760 --> 00:09:10.760 align:middle line:84% and whispered, 'That's why he thinks he knows me. 00:09:10.760 --> 00:09:13.640 align:middle line:84% He remembers my sister's birthmark.' 00:09:13.640 --> 00:09:15.680 align:middle line:84% 'But why doesn't he remember you?' 00:09:15.680 --> 00:09:17.270 align:middle line:90% 'San Francisco? 00:09:17.270 --> 00:09:18.230 align:middle line:90% Oh, he will. 00:09:18.230 --> 00:09:20.540 align:middle line:84% Can't you see he's trying right now? 00:09:20.540 --> 00:09:22.160 align:middle line:90% San Francisco. 00:09:22.160 --> 00:09:24.050 align:middle line:90% I used to dance all the time. 00:09:24.050 --> 00:09:25.910 align:middle line:84% That's why he doesn't remember me, 00:09:25.910 --> 00:09:27.860 align:middle line:90% because I was always dancing. 00:09:27.860 --> 00:09:30.890 align:middle line:84% And the faster I danced, the less he saw of me. 00:09:30.890 --> 00:09:32.990 align:middle line:84% 'But he's from New York,' I said. 00:09:32.990 --> 00:09:34.250 align:middle line:90% 'He used to pay me. 00:09:34.250 --> 00:09:35.630 align:middle line:90% That's why I hated it. 00:09:35.630 --> 00:09:38.210 align:middle line:84% He used to pay me a dollar to dance for him.' 00:09:38.210 --> 00:09:39.290 align:middle line:90% She laughed. 00:09:39.290 --> 00:09:41.780 align:middle line:84% 'It was such fun twirling around the room, 00:09:41.780 --> 00:09:44.900 align:middle line:84% faster and faster until I must have been a blur. 00:09:44.900 --> 00:09:47.360 align:middle line:90% That's why he forgets my face. 00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:50.060 align:middle line:90% San Francisco.' 'Santa Rosa. 00:09:50.060 --> 00:09:53.450 align:middle line:84% My wife was from Santa Rosa, but she's dead now.' 00:09:53.450 --> 00:09:55.340 align:middle line:90% 'I could just tell him who I am. 00:09:55.340 --> 00:09:56.540 align:middle line:90% Do you think I should?' 00:09:56.540 --> 00:09:58.580 align:middle line:90% 'No,' I said. 'Let him guess.' 00:09:58.580 --> 00:10:01.610 align:middle line:84% 'I suppose, but it might make him mad. 00:10:01.610 --> 00:10:03.770 align:middle line:84% That's one thing you learn about men. 00:10:03.770 --> 00:10:06.650 align:middle line:84% You don't joke with them unless you mean business.' 00:10:06.650 --> 00:10:09.410 align:middle line:84% She picked up her tray and walked back to the booths. 00:10:09.410 --> 00:10:11.360 align:middle line:90% The two suits watched her. 00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:13.670 align:middle line:84% 'Nice little twitch,' said the first suit. 00:10:13.670 --> 00:10:16.760 align:middle line:84% His red necktie had worked its way out of his coat. 00:10:16.760 --> 00:10:18.560 align:middle line:90% 'Yes,' said the second suit. 00:10:18.560 --> 00:10:21.215 align:middle line:84% 'I wouldn't mind a little bit of that myself.' 00:10:21.215 --> 00:10:23.000 align:middle line:90% 'Ah, but she would wear you out. 00:10:23.000 --> 00:10:24.740 align:middle line:90% You can tell by the hips. 00:10:24.740 --> 00:10:28.130 align:middle line:84% My wife has hips like that, and it's all I can do to stay 00:10:28.130 --> 00:10:29.790 align:middle line:90% in bed with her.' 00:10:29.790 --> 00:10:31.910 align:middle line:84% 'My wife has hips like that,' I said, 00:10:31.910 --> 00:10:33.920 align:middle line:90% 'but she has smaller breasts.' 00:10:33.920 --> 00:10:36.470 align:middle line:84% 'Small breasts are best,' said second suit. 00:10:36.470 --> 00:10:39.920 align:middle line:84% 'My wife has big breasts and they just get in the way. 00:10:39.920 --> 00:10:43.160 align:middle line:84% What you can't get in your mouth is wasted anyway. 00:10:43.160 --> 00:10:45.710 align:middle line:84% My wife has breasts that hang down to her knees, 00:10:45.710 --> 00:10:47.420 align:middle line:90% and her nipples are too dark.' 00:10:47.420 --> 00:10:50.030 align:middle line:84% 'Pink nipples are easily the best,' I said. 00:10:50.030 --> 00:10:53.040 align:middle line:84% 'My wife is dead,' said the man who had torn up his airplane 00:10:53.040 --> 00:10:53.540 align:middle line:90% ticket." 00:10:53.540 --> 00:10:56.420 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:10:56.420 --> 00:10:59.420 align:middle line:84% "The bartender brought us around drinks on the house 00:10:59.420 --> 00:11:02.060 align:middle line:84% and recited some baseball scores. 00:11:02.060 --> 00:11:04.700 align:middle line:84% The airplane men continued to name names, 00:11:04.700 --> 00:11:06.830 align:middle line:90% but the barmaid wasn't there. 00:11:06.830 --> 00:11:09.050 align:middle line:84% Second suit fumbled with his camera. 00:11:09.050 --> 00:11:12.290 align:middle line:84% He had the insides out and the film was hanging down 00:11:12.290 --> 00:11:13.830 align:middle line:90% over the counter. 00:11:13.830 --> 00:11:16.310 align:middle line:84% My leg had gone numb as though waterlogged 00:11:16.310 --> 00:11:17.750 align:middle line:90% by the boilermakers. 00:11:17.750 --> 00:11:19.700 align:middle line:90% At least it didn't ache. 00:11:19.700 --> 00:11:22.400 align:middle line:84% When the barmaid returned, I looked at her breasts. 00:11:22.400 --> 00:11:24.620 align:middle line:84% They were not as large as I had thought. 00:11:24.620 --> 00:11:28.460 align:middle line:84% Her white blouse was a little small, stretched across them, 00:11:28.460 --> 00:11:30.650 align:middle line:84% straining the button between them. 00:11:30.650 --> 00:11:33.350 align:middle line:84% The airplane man jerked his thumb at me and said, 00:11:33.350 --> 00:11:37.160 align:middle line:84% 'This man doesn't believe there are gold eyes in the river.' 00:11:37.160 --> 00:11:38.810 align:middle line:90% 'Of course there are,' she said. 00:11:38.810 --> 00:11:41.360 align:middle line:84% 'I caught seven of them just this morning.' 00:11:41.360 --> 00:11:44.030 align:middle line:84% 'You can't mean it.' 'Positively.' 00:11:44.030 --> 00:11:45.920 align:middle line:90% The airplane man glared at her. 00:11:45.920 --> 00:11:48.350 align:middle line:84% Suddenly, he jerked upright and roared. 00:11:48.350 --> 00:11:51.050 align:middle line:84% I thought first suit had stuck a knife in his back. 00:11:51.050 --> 00:11:56.180 align:middle line:84% Then rushed her, arms extended as if to hug or strangle her. 00:11:56.180 --> 00:11:59.480 align:middle line:84% At the last instant, he swerved and hit the door, 00:11:59.480 --> 00:12:01.340 align:middle line:90% plunging into the night. 00:12:01.340 --> 00:12:04.670 align:middle line:84% The barmaid smiled at me. 'It's still raining.' 00:12:04.670 --> 00:12:06.770 align:middle line:84% 'You should have danced for him,' I said. 00:12:06.770 --> 00:12:09.080 align:middle line:90% 'No.' She shook her head sadly. 00:12:09.080 --> 00:12:12.900 align:middle line:84% 'It wouldn't be the same.'" That's the end of that piece 00:12:12.900 --> 00:12:13.400 align:middle line:90% there. 00:12:13.400 --> 00:12:16.750 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:12:16.750 --> 00:12:20.311 align:middle line:90%