WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.320 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.320 --> 00:00:03.420 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:00:03.420 --> 00:00:07.050 align:middle line:90% I write short fiction. 00:00:07.050 --> 00:00:09.660 align:middle line:84% I also write-- I'm trying to write a novel, too. 00:00:09.660 --> 00:00:15.510 align:middle line:84% I have a short story that just came out not too long ago. 00:00:15.510 --> 00:00:20.220 align:middle line:84% It's not in the anthology that some people here have read. 00:00:20.220 --> 00:00:22.450 align:middle line:90% It's a new story. 00:00:22.450 --> 00:00:27.300 align:middle line:84% And I'd like to read it to you, except that I'm always 00:00:27.300 --> 00:00:31.320 align:middle line:84% hesitant to make audiences sit through a short story being 00:00:31.320 --> 00:00:32.970 align:middle line:90% read out loud. 00:00:32.970 --> 00:00:37.050 align:middle line:84% I read this to an audience at Ellensburg, Washington, 00:00:37.050 --> 00:00:38.580 align:middle line:90% a couple of months ago. 00:00:38.580 --> 00:00:42.630 align:middle line:84% And not too many of them fell asleep. 00:00:42.630 --> 00:00:44.220 align:middle line:84% But I don't know whether you would 00:00:44.220 --> 00:00:47.040 align:middle line:84% be interested in having the short story read to you, 00:00:47.040 --> 00:00:50.310 align:middle line:84% or whether you would rather have more poems. 00:00:50.310 --> 00:00:52.460 align:middle line:90% It's up to you. 00:00:52.460 --> 00:00:54.750 align:middle line:90% Is that what you want to read? 00:00:54.750 --> 00:00:56.790 align:middle line:90% Well-- [LAUGHS] 00:00:56.790 --> 00:00:58.200 align:middle line:90% [INAUDIBLE] 00:00:58.200 --> 00:00:58.800 align:middle line:90% 00:00:58.800 --> 00:00:59.970 align:middle line:90% I like my stories. 00:00:59.970 --> 00:01:02.530 align:middle line:84% I just-- as far as reading to a group, 00:01:02.530 --> 00:01:04.560 align:middle line:84% it's just the length that makes me hesitant. 00:01:04.560 --> 00:01:05.957 align:middle line:90% I don't know if-- 00:01:05.957 --> 00:01:06.622 align:middle line:90% [INAUDIBLE] 00:01:06.622 --> 00:01:07.830 align:middle line:90% [? It's your ?] [? choice. ?] 00:01:07.830 --> 00:01:09.570 align:middle line:90% OK, we'll try it. 00:01:09.570 --> 00:01:13.920 align:middle line:84% You can politely close your eyes and snuggle down in your chair. 00:01:13.920 --> 00:01:15.030 align:middle line:90% It's all right with me. 00:01:15.030 --> 00:01:16.290 align:middle line:90% This one is called "Lullaby". 00:01:16.290 --> 00:01:21.800 align:middle line:90% 00:01:21.800 --> 00:01:23.840 align:middle line:90% This is part 1. 00:01:23.840 --> 00:01:27.110 align:middle line:84% "The sun had gone down, but the snow in the wind 00:01:27.110 --> 00:01:28.970 align:middle line:90% gave off its own light. 00:01:28.970 --> 00:01:32.690 align:middle line:84% It came in thick tufts like new wool washed 00:01:32.690 --> 00:01:35.000 align:middle line:90% before the weaver spins it. 00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:38.270 align:middle line:84% Ayah reached out for it like her babies had, 00:01:38.270 --> 00:01:40.370 align:middle line:84% and she smiled when she remembered 00:01:40.370 --> 00:01:42.650 align:middle line:90% how she had laughed at them. 00:01:42.650 --> 00:01:47.660 align:middle line:84% She was an old woman now, and her life had become memories. 00:01:47.660 --> 00:01:49.850 align:middle line:84% She sat down with her back against 00:01:49.850 --> 00:01:52.970 align:middle line:84% the wide cottonwood tree, feeling the rough bark 00:01:52.970 --> 00:01:54.470 align:middle line:90% on her back bones. 00:01:54.470 --> 00:01:58.280 align:middle line:84% She faced east and listened to the wind and snow 00:01:58.280 --> 00:02:01.580 align:middle line:84% sing a high-pitched Yeibechei song. 00:02:01.580 --> 00:02:03.950 align:middle line:84% Out of the wind, she felt warmer. 00:02:03.950 --> 00:02:08.060 align:middle line:84% She could watch the wide, fluffy snow fill in her tracks 00:02:08.060 --> 00:02:13.070 align:middle line:84% steadily until the direction she had come from was gone. 00:02:13.070 --> 00:02:14.690 align:middle line:84% By the light of the snow, she could 00:02:14.690 --> 00:02:18.290 align:middle line:84% see the dark outline of the big arroyo a few feet away. 00:02:18.290 --> 00:02:21.560 align:middle line:84% She was sitting on the edge of Cebolleta Creek, where 00:02:21.560 --> 00:02:25.730 align:middle line:84% in the springtime, the thin cows would graze on grass already 00:02:25.730 --> 00:02:28.430 align:middle line:90% chewed flat to the ground. 00:02:28.430 --> 00:02:32.000 align:middle line:84% In the wide, deep creek bed where only a trickle of water 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:34.400 align:middle line:84% flowed in the summer, the skinny cows 00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:36.800 align:middle line:84% would wander, looking for new grass 00:02:36.800 --> 00:02:40.970 align:middle line:84% along winding paths splashed with manure. 00:02:40.970 --> 00:02:43.580 align:middle line:84% Ayah pulled the old army blanket over her head 00:02:43.580 --> 00:02:49.010 align:middle line:84% like a shawl, Jimmie's blanket, the one he had sent to her. 00:02:49.010 --> 00:02:51.020 align:middle line:90% That was a long time ago. 00:02:51.020 --> 00:02:53.540 align:middle line:84% And the green wool was faded, and it 00:02:53.540 --> 00:02:56.360 align:middle line:90% was unraveling on the edges. 00:02:56.360 --> 00:02:59.120 align:middle line:84% She did not want to think about Jimmie, 00:02:59.120 --> 00:03:01.130 align:middle line:84% so she thought about the weaving and the way 00:03:01.130 --> 00:03:04.610 align:middle line:84% her mother had done it, on the tall wooden loom set 00:03:04.610 --> 00:03:08.960 align:middle line:84% into the sand under a tamarack tree for shade. 00:03:08.960 --> 00:03:10.670 align:middle line:90% She could see it clearly. 00:03:10.670 --> 00:03:13.670 align:middle line:84% She had only been a little girl when her grandma gave her 00:03:13.670 --> 00:03:15.770 align:middle line:84% the wooden combs to pull the twigs 00:03:15.770 --> 00:03:19.340 align:middle line:84% and burrs from the raw, freshly-washed wool. 00:03:19.340 --> 00:03:21.890 align:middle line:84% And while she combed the wool, her grandma 00:03:21.890 --> 00:03:25.730 align:middle line:84% sat beside her, spinning a silvery strand of yarn 00:03:25.730 --> 00:03:28.760 align:middle line:90% around the smooth cedar spindle. 00:03:28.760 --> 00:03:32.750 align:middle line:84% Her mother worked at the loom with yarns dyed bright yellow 00:03:32.750 --> 00:03:34.070 align:middle line:90% and red and gold. 00:03:34.070 --> 00:03:36.410 align:middle line:84% She watched them dye the yarn in boiling 00:03:36.410 --> 00:03:39.740 align:middle line:84% black pots full of beeweed petals, juniper 00:03:39.740 --> 00:03:41.990 align:middle line:90% berries, and sage. 00:03:41.990 --> 00:03:45.830 align:middle line:84% The blankets her mother made were soft and woven so tight 00:03:45.830 --> 00:03:49.400 align:middle line:84% that rain rolled off of them like birds' feathers. 00:03:49.400 --> 00:03:54.080 align:middle line:84% Ayah remembered sleeping warm on cold, windy nights, wrapped 00:03:54.080 --> 00:03:59.420 align:middle line:84% in her mother's blankets on the hogan's sandy floor. 00:03:59.420 --> 00:04:03.020 align:middle line:84% The snow drifted now, with a northwest wind hurling it 00:04:03.020 --> 00:04:04.310 align:middle line:90% in gusts. 00:04:04.310 --> 00:04:08.390 align:middle line:84% It drifted up around her black overshoes, old ones 00:04:08.390 --> 00:04:10.430 align:middle line:90% with little metal buckles. 00:04:10.430 --> 00:04:12.830 align:middle line:84% She smiled at the snow which was trying 00:04:12.830 --> 00:04:15.810 align:middle line:90% to cover her little by little. 00:04:15.810 --> 00:04:19.519 align:middle line:84% She could remember when they had no rubber overshoes, 00:04:19.519 --> 00:04:23.135 align:middle line:84% only the high buckskin leggings they wrapped over their elk 00:04:23.135 --> 00:04:24.710 align:middle line:90% hide moccasins. 00:04:24.710 --> 00:04:28.940 align:middle line:84% If the snow was dry or frozen, a person could walk all day 00:04:28.940 --> 00:04:30.290 align:middle line:90% and not get wet. 00:04:30.290 --> 00:04:33.650 align:middle line:84% And in the evenings, the beams of the ceiling 00:04:33.650 --> 00:04:37.070 align:middle line:84% would hang with lengths of pale buckskin leggings, 00:04:37.070 --> 00:04:39.590 align:middle line:90% drying out slowly. 00:04:39.590 --> 00:04:42.230 align:middle line:90% She felt peaceful, remembering. 00:04:42.230 --> 00:04:44.540 align:middle line:90% She didn't feel cold anymore. 00:04:44.540 --> 00:04:47.840 align:middle line:84% Jimmie's blanket seemed warmer than it had ever been, 00:04:47.840 --> 00:04:51.140 align:middle line:84% and she could remember that morning he was born. 00:04:51.140 --> 00:04:53.690 align:middle line:84% She could remember whispering to her mother, who 00:04:53.690 --> 00:04:56.720 align:middle line:84% was sleeping on the other side of the hogan, to tell her 00:04:56.720 --> 00:04:58.220 align:middle line:90% it was time now. 00:04:58.220 --> 00:05:00.390 align:middle line:84% She did not want to wake the others. 00:05:00.390 --> 00:05:02.330 align:middle line:84% The second time she called to her, 00:05:02.330 --> 00:05:05.570 align:middle line:84% her mother stood up and pulled on her shoes. 00:05:05.570 --> 00:05:07.070 align:middle line:90% She knew. 00:05:07.070 --> 00:05:10.220 align:middle line:84% They walked to the old stone hogan together, 00:05:10.220 --> 00:05:12.830 align:middle line:84% Ayah walking a step behind her mother. 00:05:12.830 --> 00:05:16.910 align:middle line:84% She waited alone, learning the rhythms of the pains, 00:05:16.910 --> 00:05:20.930 align:middle line:84% while her mother went to call the old woman to help them. 00:05:20.930 --> 00:05:23.960 align:middle line:84% The morning was already warm, even before dawn, 00:05:23.960 --> 00:05:28.130 align:middle line:84% and Ayah smelled the bee flowers blooming and the young willows 00:05:28.130 --> 00:05:29.870 align:middle line:90% growing at the springs. 00:05:29.870 --> 00:05:32.660 align:middle line:84% She could remember that so clearly. 00:05:32.660 --> 00:05:36.500 align:middle line:84% But his birth merged into the births of the other children, 00:05:36.500 --> 00:05:40.370 align:middle line:84% and to her, it became all the same birth. 00:05:40.370 --> 00:05:42.710 align:middle line:84% They named him for the summer morning, 00:05:42.710 --> 00:05:44.765 align:middle line:84% and in English, they called him Jimmie. 00:05:44.765 --> 00:05:48.500 align:middle line:90% 00:05:48.500 --> 00:05:50.630 align:middle line:90% It wasn't like Jimmie died. 00:05:50.630 --> 00:05:52.730 align:middle line:90% He just never came back. 00:05:52.730 --> 00:05:58.160 align:middle line:84% And one day, a dark blue sedan with white writing on its doors 00:05:58.160 --> 00:06:00.710 align:middle line:84% pulled up in front of the boxcar shack 00:06:00.710 --> 00:06:03.470 align:middle line:84% where the rancher let the Indians live. 00:06:03.470 --> 00:06:06.740 align:middle line:84% A man in a khaki uniform trimmed in gold 00:06:06.740 --> 00:06:08.780 align:middle line:84% gave them a yellow piece of paper 00:06:08.780 --> 00:06:12.080 align:middle line:84% and told them that Jimmie was dead. 00:06:12.080 --> 00:06:14.840 align:middle line:84% He said the Army would try to get the body back, 00:06:14.840 --> 00:06:16.850 align:middle line:84% and then it would be shipped to them, 00:06:16.850 --> 00:06:19.220 align:middle line:84% but it wasn't likely because has the helicopter 00:06:19.220 --> 00:06:21.830 align:middle line:90% had burned after it crashed. 00:06:21.830 --> 00:06:25.760 align:middle line:84% All of this was told to Chato because he 00:06:25.760 --> 00:06:27.980 align:middle line:90% could understand English. 00:06:27.980 --> 00:06:30.620 align:middle line:84% She stood inside the doorway, holding the baby, 00:06:30.620 --> 00:06:32.390 align:middle line:90% while Chato listened. 00:06:32.390 --> 00:06:36.890 align:middle line:84% Chato spoke English like a white man, and he spoke Spanish, too. 00:06:36.890 --> 00:06:38.480 align:middle line:84% He was taller than the white man, 00:06:38.480 --> 00:06:40.430 align:middle line:90% and he stood straighter, too. 00:06:40.430 --> 00:06:42.500 align:middle line:90% Chato didn't explain why. 00:06:42.500 --> 00:06:44.510 align:middle line:84% He just told the military man they could 00:06:44.510 --> 00:06:46.880 align:middle line:90% keep the body if they found it. 00:06:46.880 --> 00:06:48.680 align:middle line:90% The white man looked bewildered. 00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:50.840 align:middle line:90% He nodded his head, and he left. 00:06:50.840 --> 00:06:53.600 align:middle line:84% Then Chato looked at her and shook his head. 00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:57.530 align:middle line:84% 'God damn,' he said in English, and then he told her, 00:06:57.530 --> 00:07:00.300 align:middle line:84% 'Jimmie isn't coming back home anymore.' 00:07:00.300 --> 00:07:04.670 align:middle line:84% And when he spoke, he used the words to speak of the dead. 00:07:04.670 --> 00:07:09.320 align:middle line:84% She didn't cry then, but she hurt inside with anger. 00:07:09.320 --> 00:07:11.810 align:middle line:84% And she mourned him as the years passed. 00:07:11.810 --> 00:07:15.290 align:middle line:84% When a horse fell on Chato and broke his leg, 00:07:15.290 --> 00:07:18.380 align:middle line:84% and the white rancher told them he wouldn't pay Chato 00:07:18.380 --> 00:07:21.500 align:middle line:84% until he could work again, she mourned Jimmie 00:07:21.500 --> 00:07:23.990 align:middle line:84% because he would have worked for his father then. 00:07:23.990 --> 00:07:26.450 align:middle line:84% He would have saddled the big bay horse 00:07:26.450 --> 00:07:28.820 align:middle line:84% and ridden the fence lines each day 00:07:28.820 --> 00:07:31.310 align:middle line:84% with wire cutters and heavy gloves, 00:07:31.310 --> 00:07:33.560 align:middle line:84% fixing the breaks in the barbed wire 00:07:33.560 --> 00:07:38.330 align:middle line:84% and putting the stray cattle back inside again. 00:07:38.330 --> 00:07:41.270 align:middle line:84% She mourned him after the white doctors came 00:07:41.270 --> 00:07:43.970 align:middle line:90% to take Danny and Ella away. 00:07:43.970 --> 00:07:47.840 align:middle line:84% She was at the shack alone that day when they came. 00:07:47.840 --> 00:07:51.410 align:middle line:84% It was back in the days before they hired Navajo women to go 00:07:51.410 --> 00:07:53.570 align:middle line:90% with them as interpreters. 00:07:53.570 --> 00:07:56.060 align:middle line:84% She recognized one of the doctors. 00:07:56.060 --> 00:07:59.120 align:middle line:84% She had seen him at the children's clinic at Cañoncito 00:07:59.120 --> 00:08:01.250 align:middle line:90% about a month before. 00:08:01.250 --> 00:08:03.110 align:middle line:84% They were wearing khaki uniforms, 00:08:03.110 --> 00:08:07.070 align:middle line:84% and they waved papers at her and a black ballpoint pen, 00:08:07.070 --> 00:08:10.610 align:middle line:84% trying to make her understand their English words. 00:08:10.610 --> 00:08:13.880 align:middle line:84% She was frightened by the way they looked at the children 00:08:13.880 --> 00:08:16.910 align:middle line:90% like the lizard watches the fly. 00:08:16.910 --> 00:08:19.790 align:middle line:84% Danny was swinging on the tire swing in the elm 00:08:19.790 --> 00:08:22.760 align:middle line:84% tree behind the rancher's house, and Ella 00:08:22.760 --> 00:08:25.100 align:middle line:84% was toddling around the front door, 00:08:25.100 --> 00:08:29.090 align:middle line:84% dragging the broomstick horse Chato had made for her. 00:08:29.090 --> 00:08:32.000 align:middle line:84% Ayah could see they wanted her to sign the papers, 00:08:32.000 --> 00:08:35.059 align:middle line:84% and Chato had taught her to sign her name. 00:08:35.059 --> 00:08:37.919 align:middle line:84% It was something she was proud of. 00:08:37.919 --> 00:08:41.240 align:middle line:84% She only wanted them to go and to take their eyes away 00:08:41.240 --> 00:08:42.510 align:middle line:90% from her children. 00:08:42.510 --> 00:08:45.680 align:middle line:84% She took the pen from the man without looking at his face, 00:08:45.680 --> 00:08:48.470 align:middle line:84% and she signed the paper in three different places 00:08:48.470 --> 00:08:49.790 align:middle line:90% he pointed to. 00:08:49.790 --> 00:08:52.160 align:middle line:84% She stared at the ground by their feet 00:08:52.160 --> 00:08:55.070 align:middle line:90% and waited for them to leave. 00:08:55.070 --> 00:08:58.280 align:middle line:84% But they stood there and began to point and gesture 00:08:58.280 --> 00:08:59.390 align:middle line:90% at the children. 00:08:59.390 --> 00:09:01.190 align:middle line:90% Danny stopped swinging. 00:09:01.190 --> 00:09:02.900 align:middle line:90% Ayah could see his fear. 00:09:02.900 --> 00:09:05.600 align:middle line:84% She moved suddenly and grabbed Ella into her arms. 00:09:05.600 --> 00:09:08.660 align:middle line:84% The child squirmed, trying to get back to her toys. 00:09:08.660 --> 00:09:11.030 align:middle line:84% Ayah ran with the baby towards Danny. 00:09:11.030 --> 00:09:12.950 align:middle line:84% She screamed for him to run, and then she 00:09:12.950 --> 00:09:15.380 align:middle line:84% grabbed him around the chest and carried him, too. 00:09:15.380 --> 00:09:19.130 align:middle line:84% She ran south into the foothills of juniper trees and black lava 00:09:19.130 --> 00:09:20.090 align:middle line:90% rock. 00:09:20.090 --> 00:09:22.850 align:middle line:84% Behind her, she heard the doctors running. 00:09:22.850 --> 00:09:24.950 align:middle line:84% But they had been taken by surprise, 00:09:24.950 --> 00:09:28.190 align:middle line:84% and the hills became steeper, and the cholla cactus 00:09:28.190 --> 00:09:29.030 align:middle line:90% were thicker. 00:09:29.030 --> 00:09:31.130 align:middle line:90% So they stopped. 00:09:31.130 --> 00:09:35.360 align:middle line:84% When she reached the top of the hill, 00:09:35.360 --> 00:09:37.760 align:middle line:84% she stopped, too, to listen in case 00:09:37.760 --> 00:09:39.680 align:middle line:90% they were circling around her. 00:09:39.680 --> 00:09:42.890 align:middle line:84% But in a few minutes, she heard a car engine start, 00:09:42.890 --> 00:09:44.700 align:middle line:90% and they drove away. 00:09:44.700 --> 00:09:46.280 align:middle line:84% The children had been too surprised 00:09:46.280 --> 00:09:48.200 align:middle line:90% to cry while she ran with them. 00:09:48.200 --> 00:09:52.010 align:middle line:84% Danny was shaking, and Ella's little fingers 00:09:52.010 --> 00:09:55.880 align:middle line:90% were gripping Ayah's blouse. 00:09:55.880 --> 00:09:58.310 align:middle line:84% She stayed up in the hills for the rest of the day, 00:09:58.310 --> 00:10:01.340 align:middle line:84% sitting on a black lava boulder in the sunshine 00:10:01.340 --> 00:10:03.920 align:middle line:84% where she could see for miles all around her. 00:10:03.920 --> 00:10:08.450 align:middle line:84% The sun warmth relaxed her and took the fear and anger away. 00:10:08.450 --> 00:10:11.720 align:middle line:84% She lay back on the rock and watched the sky. 00:10:11.720 --> 00:10:14.660 align:middle line:84% It seemed to her that she could walk into the sky, 00:10:14.660 --> 00:10:17.210 align:middle line:84% stepping through clouds endlessly. 00:10:17.210 --> 00:10:20.090 align:middle line:84% Danny played with little pebbles and stones, 00:10:20.090 --> 00:10:23.870 align:middle line:84% pretending they were birds' eggs, and then little rabbits. 00:10:23.870 --> 00:10:27.200 align:middle line:84% Ella sat at her feet and dropped fistfuls of dirt 00:10:27.200 --> 00:10:30.140 align:middle line:84% into the breeze, watching the dust and particles 00:10:30.140 --> 00:10:33.290 align:middle line:90% of sand intently. 00:10:33.290 --> 00:10:36.350 align:middle line:84% Ayah watched a hawk soar high above them, 00:10:36.350 --> 00:10:38.690 align:middle line:90% dark wings gliding-- 00:10:38.690 --> 00:10:42.560 align:middle line:84% hunting, or only watching, she didn't know. 00:10:42.560 --> 00:10:46.160 align:middle line:84% The hawk was patient, and he circled all afternoon 00:10:46.160 --> 00:10:49.640 align:middle line:84% before he disappeared around the high volcanic peak 00:10:49.640 --> 00:10:53.150 align:middle line:90% the Mexicans call Guadalupe. 00:10:53.150 --> 00:10:55.250 align:middle line:84% Late in the afternoon, Ayah looked down 00:10:55.250 --> 00:10:58.610 align:middle line:84% at the gray boxcar shack with the paint all peeled 00:10:58.610 --> 00:10:59.600 align:middle line:90% from the wood. 00:10:59.600 --> 00:11:03.020 align:middle line:84% The stove pipe on the roof was rusted and crooked. 00:11:03.020 --> 00:11:06.230 align:middle line:84% The fire she had built that morning in the oil drum stove 00:11:06.230 --> 00:11:07.580 align:middle line:90% had burned out. 00:11:07.580 --> 00:11:11.060 align:middle line:84% Ella was asleep in her lap now, and Danny sat close to her, 00:11:11.060 --> 00:11:12.710 align:middle line:90% complaining that he was hungry. 00:11:12.710 --> 00:11:15.860 align:middle line:84% He asked when they would go back to the house. 00:11:15.860 --> 00:11:18.740 align:middle line:84% 'We'll stay up here until your father comes,' she told him, 00:11:18.740 --> 00:11:22.010 align:middle line:84% 'because those white men were chasing [? us.' ?] The boy 00:11:22.010 --> 00:11:26.390 align:middle line:84% remembered then, and he nodded at her silently. 00:11:26.390 --> 00:11:30.290 align:middle line:84% If Jimmie had been there, he could have read those papers 00:11:30.290 --> 00:11:33.110 align:middle line:84% and explained to her what they said. 00:11:33.110 --> 00:11:36.890 align:middle line:84% Ayah would have known, then, never to sign them. 00:11:36.890 --> 00:11:38.690 align:middle line:84% The doctors came back the next day, 00:11:38.690 --> 00:11:41.210 align:middle line:84% and they brought a BIA policeman with them. 00:11:41.210 --> 00:11:44.510 align:middle line:84% They told Chato they had her signature, 00:11:44.510 --> 00:11:48.590 align:middle line:84% and that was all they needed, except for the kids. 00:11:48.590 --> 00:11:50.690 align:middle line:90% She listened to Chato sullenly. 00:11:50.690 --> 00:11:52.310 align:middle line:84% She hated him when he told her it 00:11:52.310 --> 00:11:55.940 align:middle line:84% was the old woman who'd died in the winter, spitting blood. 00:11:55.940 --> 00:11:57.890 align:middle line:84% It was her old grandmother who had given 00:11:57.890 --> 00:12:00.170 align:middle line:90% the children this disease. 00:12:00.170 --> 00:12:02.630 align:middle line:84% 'They don't spit blood,' she said coldly. 00:12:02.630 --> 00:12:03.950 align:middle line:90% 'The whites lie.' 00:12:03.950 --> 00:12:07.190 align:middle line:84% She held Ella and Danny close to her, ready to run to the hills 00:12:07.190 --> 00:12:07.820 align:middle line:90% again. 00:12:07.820 --> 00:12:10.760 align:middle line:84% 'I want a medicine man first,' she said to Chato, 00:12:10.760 --> 00:12:13.010 align:middle line:90% not looking at him. 00:12:13.010 --> 00:12:14.240 align:middle line:90% He shook his head. 00:12:14.240 --> 00:12:15.500 align:middle line:90% 'It's too late now. 00:12:15.500 --> 00:12:17.420 align:middle line:90% The policeman is with them. 00:12:17.420 --> 00:12:19.250 align:middle line:90% You signed the paper.' 00:12:19.250 --> 00:12:20.435 align:middle line:90% His voice was gentle. 00:12:20.435 --> 00:12:23.410 align:middle line:90% 00:12:23.410 --> 00:12:27.460 align:middle line:84% It was worse than if they had died to lose the children, 00:12:27.460 --> 00:12:29.920 align:middle line:84% and to know that somewhere in a place 00:12:29.920 --> 00:12:34.360 align:middle line:84% called Colorado, in a place full of sick and dying strangers, 00:12:34.360 --> 00:12:36.790 align:middle line:90% her children were without her. 00:12:36.790 --> 00:12:40.330 align:middle line:84% There had been babies that had died soon after they were born, 00:12:40.330 --> 00:12:43.060 align:middle line:84% and one that died before he could walk. 00:12:43.060 --> 00:12:46.390 align:middle line:84% She had carried them herself up to the boulders 00:12:46.390 --> 00:12:49.540 align:middle line:84% and great pieces of cliff that long ago crashed down 00:12:49.540 --> 00:12:50.950 align:middle line:90% from Long Mesa. 00:12:50.950 --> 00:12:53.620 align:middle line:84% She laid them in the crevices of sandstone 00:12:53.620 --> 00:12:56.680 align:middle line:84% and buried them in fine brown sand 00:12:56.680 --> 00:12:59.020 align:middle line:84% with round quartz pebbles that washed down 00:12:59.020 --> 00:13:00.790 align:middle line:90% from the hills in the rain. 00:13:00.790 --> 00:13:04.070 align:middle line:84% She had endured it because they had been with her. 00:13:04.070 --> 00:13:06.190 align:middle line:84% But she could not bear this pain. 00:13:06.190 --> 00:13:08.290 align:middle line:84% She did not sleep for a long time 00:13:08.290 --> 00:13:09.920 align:middle line:90% after they took her children. 00:13:09.920 --> 00:13:13.600 align:middle line:84% She stayed on the hill where they fled the first time, 00:13:13.600 --> 00:13:17.440 align:middle line:84% and she slept rolled up in the blanket Jimmie had sent her. 00:13:17.440 --> 00:13:19.570 align:middle line:84% She carried the pain in her belly, 00:13:19.570 --> 00:13:22.270 align:middle line:84% and it was fed by everything she saw, 00:13:22.270 --> 00:13:25.930 align:middle line:84% the blue sky of their last day together and the dust 00:13:25.930 --> 00:13:28.660 align:middle line:90% and pebbles they played with. 00:13:28.660 --> 00:13:31.540 align:middle line:84% The swing and the elm tree and the broomstick horse 00:13:31.540 --> 00:13:33.310 align:middle line:90% choked life from her. 00:13:33.310 --> 00:13:35.170 align:middle line:84% The pain filled her stomach, and there 00:13:35.170 --> 00:13:39.340 align:middle line:84% was no room for food or for her lungs to fill with air. 00:13:39.340 --> 00:13:44.050 align:middle line:84% The air and the food would have been theirs. 00:13:44.050 --> 00:13:47.800 align:middle line:84% She hated Chato, not because he let the policemen and doctors 00:13:47.800 --> 00:13:50.350 align:middle line:84% put the screaming children in the government car, 00:13:50.350 --> 00:13:52.810 align:middle line:84% but because he had taught her to sign her name. 00:13:52.810 --> 00:13:55.180 align:middle line:84% Because it was like the old ones always told her 00:13:55.180 --> 00:13:57.670 align:middle line:84% about learning their language or any of their ways-- 00:13:57.670 --> 00:13:59.920 align:middle line:90% it endangered you. 00:13:59.920 --> 00:14:03.340 align:middle line:84% She slept alone on the hill until the middle of November, 00:14:03.340 --> 00:14:05.440 align:middle line:90% when the first snows came. 00:14:05.440 --> 00:14:10.750 align:middle line:84% Then she made a bed for herself where the children had slept. 00:14:10.750 --> 00:14:14.650 align:middle line:84% She did not lay down beside Chato again until many years 00:14:14.650 --> 00:14:17.620 align:middle line:84% later, when he was sick and shivering 00:14:17.620 --> 00:14:20.830 align:middle line:84% and only her body could keep him warm. 00:14:20.830 --> 00:14:23.320 align:middle line:84% The illness came after the white rancher told 00:14:23.320 --> 00:14:26.230 align:middle line:84% Chato he was too old to work for him anymore, 00:14:26.230 --> 00:14:29.440 align:middle line:84% and Chato and his old woman should be out of the shack 00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:32.230 align:middle line:84% by the next afternoon, because the rancher had 00:14:32.230 --> 00:14:35.200 align:middle line:90% hired new people to work there. 00:14:35.200 --> 00:14:37.810 align:middle line:84% That had satisfied her, to see how 00:14:37.810 --> 00:14:41.650 align:middle line:84% the white man repaid Chato's years of loyalty and work. 00:14:41.650 --> 00:14:44.830 align:middle line:84% All of Chato's fine-sounding English talk 00:14:44.830 --> 00:14:47.920 align:middle line:90% didn't change things." 00:14:47.920 --> 00:14:49.390 align:middle line:90% Part 2. 00:14:49.390 --> 00:14:52.840 align:middle line:84% "It snowed steadily, and the luminous light from the snow 00:14:52.840 --> 00:14:55.330 align:middle line:84% gradually diminished into the darkness. 00:14:55.330 --> 00:14:57.790 align:middle line:84% Somewhere in Cebolleta, a dog barked, 00:14:57.790 --> 00:15:00.380 align:middle line:84% and other village dogs joined with it. 00:15:00.380 --> 00:15:02.815 align:middle line:84% Ayah looked into the direction she had come from, 00:15:02.815 --> 00:15:06.040 align:middle line:84% from the bar where Chato was buying the wine. 00:15:06.040 --> 00:15:09.220 align:middle line:84% Sometimes, he told her to go on ahead and wait, 00:15:09.220 --> 00:15:10.960 align:middle line:90% and then he never came. 00:15:10.960 --> 00:15:13.910 align:middle line:84% And when she finally went back looking for him, 00:15:13.910 --> 00:15:17.080 align:middle line:84% she would find him passed out at the bottom of the wooden steps 00:15:17.080 --> 00:15:18.700 align:middle line:90% to AZ's bar. 00:15:18.700 --> 00:15:20.920 align:middle line:84% All the wine would be gone, and most 00:15:20.920 --> 00:15:23.170 align:middle line:84% of the money, too, from the pale blue 00:15:23.170 --> 00:15:27.670 align:middle line:84% check that came to them once a month in a government envelope. 00:15:27.670 --> 00:15:30.400 align:middle line:84% It was then that she would look at his face and his hands 00:15:30.400 --> 00:15:33.850 align:middle line:84% scarred by the ropes and the barbed wire of all those years. 00:15:33.850 --> 00:15:37.180 align:middle line:84% And she would think, this man is a stranger. 00:15:37.180 --> 00:15:40.810 align:middle line:84% For 40 years, she had smiled at him and cooked his food, 00:15:40.810 --> 00:15:43.150 align:middle line:90% and he remained a stranger. 00:15:43.150 --> 00:15:46.630 align:middle line:84% She stood up again with the snow almost to her knees, 00:15:46.630 --> 00:15:50.260 align:middle line:84% and she walked back to find Chato. 00:15:50.260 --> 00:15:52.810 align:middle line:84% It was hard to walk in the deep snow, 00:15:52.810 --> 00:15:55.390 align:middle line:84% and she felt the air burn in her lungs. 00:15:55.390 --> 00:15:57.370 align:middle line:84% She stopped a short distance from the bar 00:15:57.370 --> 00:15:59.530 align:middle line:84% to rest and readjust the blanket. 00:15:59.530 --> 00:16:01.510 align:middle line:84% But this time, he wasn't waiting for her 00:16:01.510 --> 00:16:04.960 align:middle line:84% at the bottom step with his old Stetson hat pulled down 00:16:04.960 --> 00:16:09.670 align:middle line:84% and his shoulders hunched up in his long wool overcoat. 00:16:09.670 --> 00:16:12.760 align:middle line:84% She was careful not to slip on the wooden steps. 00:16:12.760 --> 00:16:16.450 align:middle line:84% When she pushed the door open, warm air and cigarette smoke 00:16:16.450 --> 00:16:17.800 align:middle line:90% hit her in the face. 00:16:17.800 --> 00:16:22.390 align:middle line:84% She looked around slowly and deliberately in every corner, 00:16:22.390 --> 00:16:26.950 align:middle line:84% in every dark place that the old man might find to sleep. 00:16:26.950 --> 00:16:29.650 align:middle line:84% The bar owner didn't like Indians in there, especially 00:16:29.650 --> 00:16:32.170 align:middle line:84% Navajos, but he let Chato come in 00:16:32.170 --> 00:16:35.470 align:middle line:84% because he could talk Spanish like he was one of them. 00:16:35.470 --> 00:16:37.510 align:middle line:84% The men at the bar stared at her, 00:16:37.510 --> 00:16:41.470 align:middle line:84% and the bartender saw that she left the door wide open. 00:16:41.470 --> 00:16:44.080 align:middle line:84% Snowflakes were flying inside like moths 00:16:44.080 --> 00:16:47.290 align:middle line:84% and melting into a puddle on the oiled wood floor. 00:16:47.290 --> 00:16:51.290 align:middle line:84% He motioned at her to close the door, but she did not see him. 00:16:51.290 --> 00:16:54.580 align:middle line:84% She held herself straight and walked across the room 00:16:54.580 --> 00:16:57.790 align:middle line:84% slowly, searching the room with every step. 00:16:57.790 --> 00:17:00.100 align:middle line:84% The snow in her hair melted, and she 00:17:00.100 --> 00:17:02.080 align:middle line:90% could feel it on her forehead. 00:17:02.080 --> 00:17:04.300 align:middle line:84% At the far corner of the room, she 00:17:04.300 --> 00:17:09.579 align:middle line:84% saw red flames at the mica window of an old stove door. 00:17:09.579 --> 00:17:12.849 align:middle line:84% She looked behind the stove, just to make sure. 00:17:12.849 --> 00:17:16.300 align:middle line:84% The bar got quiet, then, except for the Spanish polka 00:17:16.300 --> 00:17:18.280 align:middle line:90% music playing on the jukebox. 00:17:18.280 --> 00:17:21.790 align:middle line:84% She stood by the stove and shook the snow from her blanket 00:17:21.790 --> 00:17:24.359 align:middle line:84% and held it near the stove to dry. 00:17:24.359 --> 00:17:27.270 align:middle line:84% The wet wool smell reminded her of newborn goats 00:17:27.270 --> 00:17:31.620 align:middle line:84% in early March brought inside to warm near the fire. 00:17:31.620 --> 00:17:34.080 align:middle line:90% She felt calm. 00:17:34.080 --> 00:17:36.570 align:middle line:84% In past years, they would have told her to get out. 00:17:36.570 --> 00:17:39.720 align:middle line:84% But her hair was white now, and her face was wrinkled. 00:17:39.720 --> 00:17:43.200 align:middle line:84% They looked at her like she was a spider crawling slowly 00:17:43.200 --> 00:17:44.490 align:middle line:90% across the room. 00:17:44.490 --> 00:17:45.840 align:middle line:90% They were afraid. 00:17:45.840 --> 00:17:47.520 align:middle line:90% She could feel the fear. 00:17:47.520 --> 00:17:49.620 align:middle line:84% She looked at their faces steadily. 00:17:49.620 --> 00:17:51.330 align:middle line:84% They reminded her of the first time 00:17:51.330 --> 00:17:53.280 align:middle line:84% the white people brought her children back 00:17:53.280 --> 00:17:55.290 align:middle line:90% to her that winter. 00:17:55.290 --> 00:17:58.890 align:middle line:84% Danny had been shy and hid behind the thin white woman 00:17:58.890 --> 00:17:59.910 align:middle line:90% who brought them. 00:17:59.910 --> 00:18:03.150 align:middle line:84% And the baby had not known her until Ayah took her 00:18:03.150 --> 00:18:06.600 align:middle line:84% into her arms, and then Ella had nuzzled close to her, 00:18:06.600 --> 00:18:08.880 align:middle line:90% as she had when she was nursing. 00:18:08.880 --> 00:18:12.150 align:middle line:84% The blonde woman was nervous and kept looking at a dainty gold 00:18:12.150 --> 00:18:13.830 align:middle line:90% watch on her wrist. 00:18:13.830 --> 00:18:16.200 align:middle line:84% She sat on the bench near the small window 00:18:16.200 --> 00:18:19.950 align:middle line:84% and watched the dark snow clouds gather around the mountains. 00:18:19.950 --> 00:18:22.230 align:middle line:84% She was worried about the unpaved road. 00:18:22.230 --> 00:18:24.990 align:middle line:84% She was frightened by what she saw inside, too, 00:18:24.990 --> 00:18:28.200 align:middle line:84% the strips of venison drying on the rope across the ceiling 00:18:28.200 --> 00:18:30.300 align:middle line:84% and the children jabbering excitedly 00:18:30.300 --> 00:18:32.340 align:middle line:90% in a language she did not know. 00:18:32.340 --> 00:18:34.920 align:middle line:84% So they stayed for only a few hours. 00:18:34.920 --> 00:18:37.830 align:middle line:84% Ayah watched the government car disappear down the road, 00:18:37.830 --> 00:18:39.480 align:middle line:84% and she knew that they were already 00:18:39.480 --> 00:18:45.450 align:middle line:84% being weaned away from these lava hills and from this sky. 00:18:45.450 --> 00:18:47.850 align:middle line:84% The last time they came was in early June, 00:18:47.850 --> 00:18:51.420 align:middle line:84% and Ella stared at her the way the men in the bar 00:18:51.420 --> 00:18:52.860 align:middle line:90% were now staring. 00:18:52.860 --> 00:18:54.870 align:middle line:90% Ayah did not try to pick her up. 00:18:54.870 --> 00:18:58.710 align:middle line:84% She smiled at her instead and spoke cheerfully to Danny. 00:18:58.710 --> 00:19:02.160 align:middle line:84% When he tried to answer her, he could not seem to remember, 00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:04.830 align:middle line:84% and he spoke English words with the Navajo. 00:19:04.830 --> 00:19:08.280 align:middle line:84% But he gave her a scrap of paper that he had found somewhere 00:19:08.280 --> 00:19:10.060 align:middle line:90% and carried in his pocket. 00:19:10.060 --> 00:19:11.580 align:middle line:90% It was folded in half. 00:19:11.580 --> 00:19:16.530 align:middle line:84% And shyly, he looked up at her and said it was a bird. 00:19:16.530 --> 00:19:20.220 align:middle line:84% She asked Chato if they were home for good this time. 00:19:20.220 --> 00:19:23.710 align:middle line:84% He spoke to the white woman, and she shook her head. 00:19:23.710 --> 00:19:25.440 align:middle line:90% 'How much longer?' he asked. 00:19:25.440 --> 00:19:27.480 align:middle line:90% And she said she didn't know. 00:19:27.480 --> 00:19:31.620 align:middle line:84% But Chato saw how she stared at the boxcar shack. 00:19:31.620 --> 00:19:33.330 align:middle line:90% Ayah turned away then. 00:19:33.330 --> 00:19:35.940 align:middle line:90% She did not say goodbye." 00:19:35.940 --> 00:19:37.530 align:middle line:90% Part 3. 00:19:37.530 --> 00:19:40.410 align:middle line:84% "She felt satisfied that the men in the bar feared her. 00:19:40.410 --> 00:19:42.030 align:middle line:84% Maybe it was her face and the way 00:19:42.030 --> 00:19:44.580 align:middle line:84% she held her mouth with teeth clenched tight, 00:19:44.580 --> 00:19:47.400 align:middle line:84% like there was nothing anyone could do to her now. 00:19:47.400 --> 00:19:51.390 align:middle line:84% She walked north down the road, searching for the old man. 00:19:51.390 --> 00:19:53.910 align:middle line:84% She did this because she had the blanket, 00:19:53.910 --> 00:19:55.680 align:middle line:84% and there would be no place for him 00:19:55.680 --> 00:19:58.590 align:middle line:84% except with her and the blanket and the old adobe 00:19:58.590 --> 00:20:00.180 align:middle line:90% barn near the arroyo. 00:20:00.180 --> 00:20:03.060 align:middle line:84% They always slept there when they came to Cebolleta. 00:20:03.060 --> 00:20:05.670 align:middle line:84% If the money and the wine were gone, 00:20:05.670 --> 00:20:08.880 align:middle line:84% she would be relieved, because then they could go home again, 00:20:08.880 --> 00:20:12.360 align:middle line:84% back to the old hogan with a dirt roof and rock walls 00:20:12.360 --> 00:20:14.370 align:middle line:90% where she herself had been born. 00:20:14.370 --> 00:20:16.890 align:middle line:84% And the next day, the old man could go back 00:20:16.890 --> 00:20:20.790 align:middle line:84% to the few sheep they still had to follow along behind them, 00:20:20.790 --> 00:20:23.460 align:middle line:84% guiding them into dry, sandy arroyos 00:20:23.460 --> 00:20:25.830 align:middle line:90% where sparse grass grew. 00:20:25.830 --> 00:20:29.340 align:middle line:84% She knew he did not like walking behind old ewes 00:20:29.340 --> 00:20:31.890 align:middle line:84% when for many years, he rode big quarter horses 00:20:31.890 --> 00:20:33.210 align:middle line:90% and worked with cattle. 00:20:33.210 --> 00:20:35.710 align:middle line:90% But she wasn't sorry for him. 00:20:35.710 --> 00:20:39.840 align:middle line:84% He should have known all along it would happen. 00:20:39.840 --> 00:20:43.060 align:middle line:84% There had not been enough rain for their garden in five years. 00:20:43.060 --> 00:20:47.160 align:middle line:84% And that was when Chato finally hitched a ride into the town 00:20:47.160 --> 00:20:50.250 align:middle line:84% and brought back brown boxes of rice and sugar 00:20:50.250 --> 00:20:54.780 align:middle line:84% and big tin cans of welfare peaches. 00:20:54.780 --> 00:20:56.640 align:middle line:84% After that, at the first of the month, 00:20:56.640 --> 00:20:58.800 align:middle line:84% they went to see Cebolleta to ask 00:20:58.800 --> 00:21:01.650 align:middle line:84% the postmaster for the check, and then Chato 00:21:01.650 --> 00:21:03.870 align:middle line:90% would go to the bar and cash it. 00:21:03.870 --> 00:21:07.230 align:middle line:84% They did this as they planted the garden every May, 00:21:07.230 --> 00:21:10.580 align:middle line:84% not because anything would survive the summer dust, 00:21:10.580 --> 00:21:13.530 align:middle line:84% but because it was time to do this. 00:21:13.530 --> 00:21:18.510 align:middle line:84% And the journey passed the days that smelled silent and dry 00:21:18.510 --> 00:21:22.500 align:middle line:84% like the caves above the canyon with yellow painted buffaloes 00:21:22.500 --> 00:21:24.660 align:middle line:90% on their walls." 00:21:24.660 --> 00:21:26.100 align:middle line:90% Part 4. 00:21:26.100 --> 00:21:28.950 align:middle line:84% "He was walking along the pavement when she found him. 00:21:28.950 --> 00:21:32.500 align:middle line:84% He did not stop or turn around when he heard her behind him. 00:21:32.500 --> 00:21:34.500 align:middle line:84% She walked beside him, and she noticed 00:21:34.500 --> 00:21:36.450 align:middle line:90% how slowly he moved now. 00:21:36.450 --> 00:21:39.780 align:middle line:84% He smelled strong of wood smoke and urine. 00:21:39.780 --> 00:21:41.820 align:middle line:90% Lately, he had been forgetting. 00:21:41.820 --> 00:21:45.420 align:middle line:84% Sometimes, he called her by his sister's name, 00:21:45.420 --> 00:21:48.570 align:middle line:84% and she had been gone for a long time. 00:21:48.570 --> 00:21:50.190 align:middle line:84% Once, she had found him wandering 00:21:50.190 --> 00:21:52.680 align:middle line:84% on the road back to the white man's ranch, 00:21:52.680 --> 00:21:55.290 align:middle line:84% and she asked him why he was going that way. 00:21:55.290 --> 00:21:58.560 align:middle line:84% He laughed at her and said, 'You know they can't run that ranch 00:21:58.560 --> 00:21:59.340 align:middle line:90% without me.' 00:21:59.340 --> 00:22:01.980 align:middle line:84% And he walked on, determined, limping 00:22:01.980 --> 00:22:05.070 align:middle line:84% on the leg that had been crushed many years before. 00:22:05.070 --> 00:22:09.300 align:middle line:84% Now, he looked at her curiously, as if for the first time. 00:22:09.300 --> 00:22:12.180 align:middle line:84% But he kept shuffling along, moving slowly 00:22:12.180 --> 00:22:13.980 align:middle line:90% along the side of the highway. 00:22:13.980 --> 00:22:16.590 align:middle line:84% His gray hair had grown long and spread out 00:22:16.590 --> 00:22:18.840 align:middle line:84% on the shoulders of the long overcoat. 00:22:18.840 --> 00:22:22.236 align:middle line:84% He wore the old felt hat pulled down over his ears. 00:22:22.236 --> 00:22:24.610 align:middle line:84% His boots were worn out at the toes, 00:22:24.610 --> 00:22:28.240 align:middle line:84% and he had stuffed pieces of an old red shirt in the holes. 00:22:28.240 --> 00:22:32.020 align:middle line:84% The rags made his feet look like little animals up to their ears 00:22:32.020 --> 00:22:33.040 align:middle line:90% in snow. 00:22:33.040 --> 00:22:35.920 align:middle line:84% She laughed at his feet, and the snow 00:22:35.920 --> 00:22:38.020 align:middle line:90% muffled the sound of her laugh. 00:22:38.020 --> 00:22:40.210 align:middle line:84% He stopped and looked at her again. 00:22:40.210 --> 00:22:42.040 align:middle line:84% The wind had quit blowing, and the snow 00:22:42.040 --> 00:22:44.050 align:middle line:90% was falling straight down. 00:22:44.050 --> 00:22:46.720 align:middle line:84% The southeast sky was beginning to clear, 00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:48.325 align:middle line:90% and Ayah could see a star. 00:22:48.325 --> 00:22:51.280 align:middle line:90% 00:22:51.280 --> 00:22:53.590 align:middle line:84% 'Let's rest a while,' she said to him. 00:22:53.590 --> 00:22:56.830 align:middle line:84% They walked away from the road and up the slope to the giant 00:22:56.830 --> 00:23:00.610 align:middle line:84% boulders that had tumbled down from the red sandrock mesa 00:23:00.610 --> 00:23:04.450 align:middle line:84% throughout the centuries of rainstorms and earth tremors. 00:23:04.450 --> 00:23:07.180 align:middle line:84% In a place where the boulder shut out the wind, 00:23:07.180 --> 00:23:10.240 align:middle line:84% they sat down with their backs against the rock. 00:23:10.240 --> 00:23:12.520 align:middle line:84% She offered half of the blanket to him, 00:23:12.520 --> 00:23:14.920 align:middle line:90% and they sat wrapped together. 00:23:14.920 --> 00:23:16.720 align:middle line:90% The storm passed swiftly. 00:23:16.720 --> 00:23:18.460 align:middle line:90% The clouds moved east. 00:23:18.460 --> 00:23:20.980 align:middle line:84% They were massive and full, crowding together 00:23:20.980 --> 00:23:22.570 align:middle line:90% across the sky. 00:23:22.570 --> 00:23:24.220 align:middle line:84% She watched them with the feeling 00:23:24.220 --> 00:23:29.950 align:middle line:84% of horses, steely, blue-gray horses startled across the sky. 00:23:29.950 --> 00:23:33.460 align:middle line:84% The powerful haunches pushed into the distances, 00:23:33.460 --> 00:23:37.480 align:middle line:84% and the tail hairs streamed white mist behind them. 00:23:37.480 --> 00:23:39.130 align:middle line:90% The sky cleared. 00:23:39.130 --> 00:23:42.580 align:middle line:84% Ayah saw that there was nothing between her and the stars. 00:23:42.580 --> 00:23:44.320 align:middle line:90% The light was crystalline. 00:23:44.320 --> 00:23:48.400 align:middle line:84% There was no shimmer, no distortion through earth haze. 00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:51.910 align:middle line:84% She breathed the clarity of the night sky. 00:23:51.910 --> 00:23:57.310 align:middle line:84% She smelled the purity of the half moon in the stars. 00:23:57.310 --> 00:23:59.920 align:middle line:84% He was lying on his side with his knees pulled up 00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:03.010 align:middle line:90% near his belly for warmth. 00:24:03.010 --> 00:24:05.200 align:middle line:84% His eyes were closed now, and in the light 00:24:05.200 --> 00:24:09.730 align:middle line:84% from the stars and the moon, he looked young again. 00:24:09.730 --> 00:24:13.270 align:middle line:84% She could see it descend out of the night sky, 00:24:13.270 --> 00:24:17.410 align:middle line:84% an icy stillness from the edge of the thin moon. 00:24:17.410 --> 00:24:19.810 align:middle line:90% She recognized the freezing. 00:24:19.810 --> 00:24:24.580 align:middle line:84% It came gradually, sinking snowflake by snowflake, 00:24:24.580 --> 00:24:27.370 align:middle line:84% until the crust was heavy and deep. 00:24:27.370 --> 00:24:30.340 align:middle line:84% It had the strength of the stars in Orion, 00:24:30.340 --> 00:24:33.050 align:middle line:90% and its journey was endless. 00:24:33.050 --> 00:24:35.650 align:middle line:84% Ayah knew that with the wine, he would sleep. 00:24:35.650 --> 00:24:37.600 align:middle line:90% He would not feel it. 00:24:37.600 --> 00:24:41.560 align:middle line:84% She tucked the blanket around him, 00:24:41.560 --> 00:24:47.020 align:middle line:84% remembering how it had been when Ella had been with her. 00:24:47.020 --> 00:24:50.140 align:middle line:84% And she felt the rush so big inside her heart 00:24:50.140 --> 00:24:51.410 align:middle line:90% for the babies. 00:24:51.410 --> 00:24:55.030 align:middle line:84% And she sang the only songs she knew to sing-- 00:24:55.030 --> 00:24:58.690 align:middle line:90% she knew to sing for-- 00:24:58.690 --> 00:25:01.570 align:middle line:84% and she sang the only song she knew to sing for babies. 00:25:01.570 --> 00:25:03.790 align:middle line:84% She could not remember if she had ever sung it 00:25:03.790 --> 00:25:06.760 align:middle line:84% to her children, but she knew that her grandmother had sung 00:25:06.760 --> 00:25:09.730 align:middle line:90% it, and her mother had sung it. 00:25:09.730 --> 00:25:11.080 align:middle line:90% 'The earth is your mother. 00:25:11.080 --> 00:25:12.670 align:middle line:90% She holds you. 00:25:12.670 --> 00:25:14.440 align:middle line:90% The sky is your father. 00:25:14.440 --> 00:25:15.910 align:middle line:90% He protects you. 00:25:15.910 --> 00:25:18.340 align:middle line:90% Sleep, sleep. 00:25:18.340 --> 00:25:19.990 align:middle line:90% Rainbow is your sister. 00:25:19.990 --> 00:25:21.190 align:middle line:90% She loves you. 00:25:21.190 --> 00:25:22.900 align:middle line:90% The winds are your brothers. 00:25:22.900 --> 00:25:24.250 align:middle line:90% They sing to you. 00:25:24.250 --> 00:25:26.620 align:middle line:90% Sleep, sleep. 00:25:26.620 --> 00:25:28.780 align:middle line:90% We are together always. 00:25:28.780 --> 00:25:31.120 align:middle line:90% We are together always. 00:25:31.120 --> 00:25:37.150 align:middle line:84% There never was a time when this was not so.'" 00:25:37.150 --> 00:25:40.500 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:25:40.500 --> 00:25:46.000 align:middle line:90%