WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.625 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.625 --> 00:00:01.125 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:00:01.125 --> 00:00:04.170 align:middle line:90% 00:00:04.170 --> 00:00:07.860 align:middle line:84% I'm going to read a very early poem from my first book 00:00:07.860 --> 00:00:08.670 align:middle line:90% "Halfway." 00:00:08.670 --> 00:00:12.000 align:middle line:90% 00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:15.420 align:middle line:84% It's really an adaptation from the German, not a translation. 00:00:15.420 --> 00:00:17.700 align:middle line:84% But it's an adaptation from a children's book 00:00:17.700 --> 00:00:19.590 align:middle line:90% that I was raised on. 00:00:19.590 --> 00:00:23.650 align:middle line:84% A book so terrible that when our own kids were growing up, 00:00:23.650 --> 00:00:27.240 align:middle line:84% it was the only book we ever kept hidden on the bookshelves. 00:00:27.240 --> 00:00:30.352 align:middle line:84% And we hid it behind the Henry Miller. 00:00:30.352 --> 00:00:31.680 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:31.680 --> 00:00:33.810 align:middle line:84% There's a book called Der Struwwelpater 00:00:33.810 --> 00:00:36.120 align:middle line:90% by Heinrich Hoffman. 00:00:36.120 --> 00:00:40.470 align:middle line:84% And I think it's peculiar to my generation, certainly much more 00:00:40.470 --> 00:00:41.520 align:middle line:90% than to yours. 00:00:41.520 --> 00:00:44.340 align:middle line:84% It's a series of nasty moral tales 00:00:44.340 --> 00:00:48.210 align:middle line:84% designed to terrify the young into behaving themselves. 00:00:48.210 --> 00:00:51.450 align:middle line:84% Like on one page, a little girl is playing with matches, 00:00:51.450 --> 00:00:55.500 align:middle line:84% and on the next page, there she is, burning to death. 00:00:55.500 --> 00:00:58.060 align:middle line:90% Very instructive. 00:00:58.060 --> 00:01:02.730 align:middle line:84% And this is called "Fräulein Reads Instructive Rhymes." 00:01:02.730 --> 00:01:07.600 align:middle line:84% The Fräulein is the nurse girl or the governess or some such. 00:01:07.600 --> 00:01:10.560 align:middle line:90% And there are four episodes. 00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:14.100 align:middle line:84% "First hear the story of Casper, the rosy cheeked. 00:01:14.100 --> 00:01:16.140 align:middle line:90% Once he was round and fat. 00:01:16.140 --> 00:01:17.940 align:middle line:90% He ate his dinner up. 00:01:17.940 --> 00:01:22.200 align:middle line:84% Then see on Monday night, nothing will Casper eat. 00:01:22.200 --> 00:01:27.150 align:middle line:84% Tuesday and Wednesday, nine, Casper throws down his cup. 00:01:27.150 --> 00:01:31.830 align:middle line:84% Watch him shrink to a stick, crying nished all that week. 00:01:31.830 --> 00:01:36.480 align:middle line:84% Sunday, he whispers, nished, and falls down dead. 00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:39.480 align:middle line:84% Now they must bury him in the black Earth. 00:01:39.480 --> 00:01:40.470 align:middle line:90% He's meek. 00:01:40.470 --> 00:01:46.140 align:middle line:84% And by his grave, they leave Casper his meat and bread. 00:01:46.140 --> 00:01:50.490 align:middle line:84% Therefore, says Fräulein, slicing the sauerbraten, 00:01:50.490 --> 00:01:52.560 align:middle line:90% eat what I fix for you. 00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:54.030 align:middle line:90% See what can happen. 00:01:54.030 --> 00:01:56.250 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:56.250 --> 00:01:59.280 align:middle line:84% Next prances Friedrich, the terrible tempered. 00:01:59.280 --> 00:02:01.440 align:middle line:90% He pulls the wings from flies. 00:02:01.440 --> 00:02:03.600 align:middle line:90% He wrings the chicken's necks. 00:02:03.600 --> 00:02:06.840 align:middle line:84% See, with a long horse whip, how in this picture. 00:02:06.840 --> 00:02:11.420 align:middle line:84% He lashes the maid who cries into her handkerchief. 00:02:11.420 --> 00:02:14.340 align:middle line:90% Wait, aber, all is well. 00:02:14.340 --> 00:02:16.710 align:middle line:90% Here the big dog comes in. 00:02:16.710 --> 00:02:20.940 align:middle line:84% Angry black dog bites his knee and holds fast. 00:02:20.940 --> 00:02:25.020 align:middle line:84% Now the hair doctor pours Friedrich bad medicine. 00:02:25.020 --> 00:02:30.540 align:middle line:84% Downstairs, the napkin dog eats Friedreich's liverwurst. 00:02:30.540 --> 00:02:35.790 align:middle line:84% Child, says Fräulein, clicking her thimble cup, good, ja, 00:02:35.790 --> 00:02:40.050 align:middle line:84% be good or the dog comes to eat you up. 00:02:40.050 --> 00:02:43.590 align:middle line:84% Now look at Conrad, the little thumbsucker. 00:02:43.590 --> 00:02:47.130 align:middle line:84% Ah, but his poor mama cries when she warns him, 00:02:47.130 --> 00:02:50.850 align:middle line:84% the tailor will come for his thumbs if he sucks them. 00:02:50.850 --> 00:02:55.050 align:middle line:84% Quick, he can cut them off easy as paper. 00:02:55.050 --> 00:02:59.430 align:middle line:84% Out goes the mother and whoop goes the thumbkin in. 00:02:59.430 --> 00:03:01.330 align:middle line:90% Then the door opens. 00:03:01.330 --> 00:03:03.570 align:middle line:90% Enter the tailor. 00:03:03.570 --> 00:03:06.060 align:middle line:84% See in the picture, the terrible tongue 00:03:06.060 --> 00:03:08.010 align:middle line:90% in his grinning red mouth. 00:03:08.010 --> 00:03:10.980 align:middle line:90% In his hands, the great shears. 00:03:10.980 --> 00:03:16.110 align:middle line:84% Just as she told him, the tailor goes clip on clop. 00:03:16.110 --> 00:03:21.400 align:middle line:84% Eight fingered Conrad has learned a sad lesson. 00:03:21.400 --> 00:03:24.880 align:middle line:84% Therefore, says Fräulein, shaking her chignon, 00:03:24.880 --> 00:03:29.170 align:middle line:84% suck you must not or the tailor will chop. 00:03:29.170 --> 00:03:32.530 align:middle line:84% And here is smart Robert, the flying boy. 00:03:32.530 --> 00:03:33.730 align:middle line:90% Bad one. 00:03:33.730 --> 00:03:38.170 align:middle line:84% Whee, how the storm blows and coughs in the treetops. 00:03:38.170 --> 00:03:41.380 align:middle line:84% Mama has told him, today he must stay in. 00:03:41.380 --> 00:03:45.730 align:middle line:84% But Robert slips out with umbrella and rain cap. 00:03:45.730 --> 00:03:47.410 align:middle line:90% Now he is flying. 00:03:47.410 --> 00:03:49.990 align:middle line:90% The wind sucks and pulls him. 00:03:49.990 --> 00:03:53.800 align:middle line:84% See he is carried up smaller and smaller. 00:03:53.800 --> 00:03:56.140 align:middle line:90% His cap flies ahead of him. 00:03:56.140 --> 00:03:58.810 align:middle line:90% No one can help him. 00:03:58.810 --> 00:04:04.060 align:middle line:84% Therefore, says Fräulein, smoothing her collar, mind me, 00:04:04.060 --> 00:04:05.650 align:middle line:90% says Fräulein. 00:04:05.650 --> 00:04:08.140 align:middle line:90% God stands up in heaven. 00:04:08.140 --> 00:04:10.090 align:middle line:90% See how he watches. 00:04:10.090 --> 00:04:13.530 align:middle line:90% He snatches the bad ones."