WEBVTT

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Is this thing-- is this working.

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It's OK.

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All right.

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As Lois mentioned,
I drove racing cars.

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I spent about five years
of my life or five years.

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But almost seems like
part of another life

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doing that until I set
of deceleration record

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in California.

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I went from 110 to zero
in 3/10 of a second.

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With the help of a concrete
wall and as a changed man.

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I mention that because
this first poem

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deals with that experience.

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I began teaching
high school as soon

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as I got into a wheelchair.

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And it was kind of
an interesting way

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to do it because I didn't
have any discipline problem.

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I don't know if it was all of
the casts that I was wearing.

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Either made students feel sorry
for me or intimidated them.

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But I had one eye that was
full of blood, bright red.

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It was very handy
because any time--

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[LAUGHTER]

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was good for letching too but
any time anybody would step out

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of line I'd-

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[LAUGHTER]

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turn the eye on them.

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But the school board got upset.

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A girl turned to stone and her
parents complained and anyway.

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This first poem is a
poem in three parts.

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It begins with a dream which
goes into a motorcycle trip.

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The second part goes
back to an experience

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of racing and the third part
back to the motorcycle trip.

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It begins with a
quote from an essay

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by Federico Garcia
Lorca on the duende.

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Duende translated literally
from Spanish means hobgoblin.

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But in Andalusia where Lorca
lived, duende means much more.

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Duende is a quality that
one has or does not have.

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He says, that which has
black sounds has duende.

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He speaks of a flamenco
singer who has duende.

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And one another singer who's
technically just as good

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but does not have duende.

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But he says, the true
struggle is with duende.

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The duende will not
appear if he does not

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see the possibility of death.

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If he is not convinced he
will circle death's house.

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This poem is called
"Between Rooms."

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I dreamed I was a nun.

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Escaping vows to some dark
order down a black stairwell.

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I woke up still running.

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The stairs were my spine.

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I ran from the pit of myself.

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Riding a motorcycle
day after day,

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the continent passing beside me.

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Wind and light
till I can't stop.

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Miles of towns and prairies
move through my sleep.

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Come back and I ride them again.

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A room revisited over and over.

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A flawed face familiar
but always a name

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you can't remember.

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The fear of death
before sleep comes.

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Fear of nothing
or the lack of it.

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Fear I scorn at noon, scorn
danger and its pictures

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vivid in my head.

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I'm riding a motorcycle
though I'd rather walk.

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But walking a man
looks suspicious.

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I've seen the sidelong
glances of farmers thinking

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they own the world at 5:00 AM.

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Even their cows are wary.

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I raced around death's house,
glad to be just out of reach.

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Though several times
it snagged my clothing

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and I tore them getting free.

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110 miles an hour
the concrete wall

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zoomed in like a
fist, impact and fire.

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My nose covered my
eye like a patch.

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Drowning in blood, a black
man filled me with tubes.

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All the faces around
the table looking down

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and no one answered.

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I thought I was dead
and feared cremation.

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I couldn't break
a bone in my body

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that hasn't already been broken.

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Right arm, right leg, left arm,
left leg, skull, nose, 12 ribs,

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two vertebrae and skin.

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Broke lots of skin.

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I heal quickly and
cherish my scars.

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I still crave speed
though I fear it.

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I love silence but
despise still air.

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Visit the cemetery to recount
a past I don't want to escape.

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I've got four cylinders under
me and in my hand 130 miles

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an hour.

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I won't use it right now
but I know it's there.

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I left Kansas City an hour ago.

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The center line's a
tape I'm reeling in.

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My back hurts.

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It's getting colder
and looks like rain.

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I'll stop in Wichita
sometime after dark.

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I was telling a
class the other day,

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I spent a week in
a Catholic girls

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school in Winona, Minnesota.

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I gave a reading one night
and a nun came up to me

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after the reading.

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She was 60, 70 years
old, asked if I

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would read to a group
of cloistered nuns

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that she was in charge of the
next day and I said I would.

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So, at 8 o'clock
the next morning

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I found myself in a room full
of nuns inside a convent.

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And just before I began reading,
she came over and punched me

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in the ribs and she said, by
the way these girls know all

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the words so you don't have
to pull any punches with them,

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you know.

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Which really put me at ease.

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So, I started reading poems
and I got to this poem.

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And not thinking about it,
I read that first line.

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I dreamed I was a nun
and all of a sudden

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the room got very small.

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[LAUGHTER]

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And a little voice
over here kept

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saying, in my maiden form bra.

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[LAUGHTER]

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In this part said, no no no.

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I find I have one self that acts
and the other self that watches

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and horrified sometimes.

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