WEBVTT

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Good evening.

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I'd like to start by reading a
few poems from my Eskimo book.

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The first is called
"Beauty Cure,"

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and it's the poem of
an old Eskimo woman.

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"When I was just
a girl I once took

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a beauty treatment recommended
by our medicine man.

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Grandma took me out and found
old dried-up dog turds for me.

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I had to put each turd on my
tongue keeping it in my mouth

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until it was soft
then rub myself

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with it all over my
breasts and stomach.

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That is where I got my lovely
figure and vitality from for is

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the medicine man said,
dogshit used in the right way

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possesses magic powers and
it's a kind of elixir of youth.

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That is why I still look so
young in spite of my great age.

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So for a beautiful
complexion, ladies,

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I do not hesitate to recommend
dogshit lotion to you.

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Try some today.

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[LAUGHTER]

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[APPLAUSE]

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