WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.200 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.200 --> 00:00:04.320 align:middle line:84% Well, I'm going to read a poem called "Impotence," 00:00:04.320 --> 00:00:05.640 align:middle line:90% that requires a disclaimer. 00:00:05.640 --> 00:00:08.310 align:middle line:90% 00:00:08.310 --> 00:00:11.715 align:middle line:84% So remember the biographic fallacy. 00:00:11.715 --> 00:00:19.200 align:middle line:90% 00:00:19.200 --> 00:00:21.300 align:middle line:84% I get to tell a story first, there's 00:00:21.300 --> 00:00:24.450 align:middle line:84% a wonderful poet named John Logan, I suspect he's read here 00:00:24.450 --> 00:00:25.860 align:middle line:90% or at least you know his work. 00:00:25.860 --> 00:00:27.900 align:middle line:84% A number of years ago he wrote a review 00:00:27.900 --> 00:00:31.500 align:middle line:84% for the Chicago Review, a review of a book by Edward Dahlberg, 00:00:31.500 --> 00:00:34.110 align:middle line:84% a book called Because I Was Flesh. 00:00:34.110 --> 00:00:36.390 align:middle line:84% And in that review Logan said this 00:00:36.390 --> 00:00:41.490 align:middle line:84% is a book about man's old hell with his prick, 00:00:41.490 --> 00:00:44.100 align:middle line:84% so a short time later there was a University of Chicago 00:00:44.100 --> 00:00:46.530 align:middle line:84% faculty party and a couple of young professors 00:00:46.530 --> 00:00:48.760 align:middle line:84% got a hold of Mr Logan and I said, gee, 00:00:48.760 --> 00:00:51.540 align:middle line:84% we thought your review was marvelous, 00:00:51.540 --> 00:00:57.330 align:middle line:84% but one thing bothered us, why did you have to use that word? 00:00:57.330 --> 00:00:59.580 align:middle line:84% Why couldn't you have said penis? 00:00:59.580 --> 00:01:01.970 align:middle line:84% And Logan is supposed to replied, 00:01:01.970 --> 00:01:04.095 align:middle line:84% because no one ever had any trouble with his penis. 00:01:04.095 --> 00:01:06.322 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:06.322 --> 00:01:16.170 align:middle line:90% 00:01:16.170 --> 00:01:19.050 align:middle line:90% So this is called "Impotence." 00:01:19.050 --> 00:01:22.170 align:middle line:84% Suddenly her breast has never been larger. 00:01:22.170 --> 00:01:24.930 align:middle line:84% All night she's been on your back. 00:01:24.930 --> 00:01:28.620 align:middle line:84% How can you tell her your testicles have fallen off? 00:01:28.620 --> 00:01:30.570 align:middle line:90% It's serious, all right. 00:01:30.570 --> 00:01:32.670 align:middle line:90% It's just the beginning. 00:01:32.670 --> 00:01:35.280 align:middle line:84% When the balls go can the penis be long behind? 00:01:35.280 --> 00:01:37.680 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:37.680 --> 00:01:46.800 align:middle line:90% 00:01:46.800 --> 00:01:51.560 align:middle line:84% Soon Steve, you'll be left with nothing but scar tissue. 00:01:51.560 --> 00:01:53.310 align:middle line:84% Where once you were the cock of the walk-- 00:01:53.310 --> 00:01:55.920 align:middle line:90% 00:01:55.920 --> 00:01:57.182 align:middle line:90% it gets worse-- 00:01:57.182 --> 00:02:00.556 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:00.556 --> 00:02:04.420 align:middle line:90% 00:02:04.420 --> 00:02:08.800 align:middle line:84% Soon you'll be the laughing stock of Niagara Falls. 00:02:08.800 --> 00:02:12.160 align:middle line:84% It's no delight you've got yourself over this barrel. 00:02:12.160 --> 00:02:15.430 align:middle line:84% You know how far down it was from the beginning. 00:02:15.430 --> 00:02:18.520 align:middle line:84% All those years you were combing it out of your hair, 00:02:18.520 --> 00:02:21.850 align:middle line:90% the hair itself was falling out. 00:02:21.850 --> 00:02:22.850 align:middle line:90% If now you're exposed-- 00:02:22.850 --> 00:02:29.205 align:middle line:90% 00:02:29.205 --> 00:02:31.330 align:middle line:84% it was an awkward place to end the line, wasn't it? 00:02:31.330 --> 00:02:35.920 align:middle line:84% If now you're exposed as the foolish romantic, why? 00:02:35.920 --> 00:02:38.950 align:middle line:84% That's what you deserve, foolish romantic. 00:02:38.950 --> 00:02:41.650 align:middle line:90% You wanted orgasm in repose. 00:02:41.650 --> 00:02:43.300 align:middle line:90% You wanted love without memory. 00:02:43.300 --> 00:02:47.140 align:middle line:84% You earnestly desired beautiful women in bondage, 00:02:47.140 --> 00:02:49.720 align:middle line:90% their feelings held hostage. 00:02:49.720 --> 00:02:53.410 align:middle line:84% And for a while there you were right in the thick of it. 00:02:53.410 --> 00:02:56.410 align:middle line:84% Now, you have the lowest membership of all. 00:02:56.410 --> 00:02:59.470 align:middle line:84% Now, you are nothing anyone would love. 00:02:59.470 --> 00:03:03.560 align:middle line:84% Now, you were a figure of total submission. 00:03:03.560 --> 00:03:06.490 align:middle line:84% So what if you could do anything once? 00:03:06.490 --> 00:03:10.300 align:middle line:84% Why are you even bringing up these matters of taste? 00:03:10.300 --> 00:03:12.370 align:middle line:90% Now, the end is near. 00:03:12.370 --> 00:03:14.560 align:middle line:90% Now, you limp along. 00:03:14.560 --> 00:03:18.550 align:middle line:84% Goodbye A, goodbye B. Don't hate me 00:03:18.550 --> 00:03:23.230 align:middle line:84% C. Farewell D. I'm not letting you go, 00:03:23.230 --> 00:03:26.866 align:middle line:84% just turning you over for a while. 00:03:26.866 --> 00:03:37.490 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:03:37.490 --> 00:03:40.000 align:middle line:90% This is very funny, isn't it? 00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:43.000 align:middle line:90%