WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.870 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.870 --> 00:00:04.230 align:middle line:84% Here's one for the vets, Vietnam vets. 00:00:04.230 --> 00:00:07.680 align:middle line:90% 00:00:07.680 --> 00:00:10.530 align:middle line:84% Bob greases himself up in his garage, 00:00:10.530 --> 00:00:13.470 align:middle line:90% works on his Volkswagen bus. 00:00:13.470 --> 00:00:15.480 align:middle line:84% Away from wife and kids for a while, 00:00:15.480 --> 00:00:19.650 align:middle line:84% smells of oily work table, exhaust oil 00:00:19.650 --> 00:00:22.410 align:middle line:84% as he grunts a valve to millimeter perfection, purrs, 00:00:22.410 --> 00:00:28.290 align:middle line:84% time and screw to coax, and rrr, rrr, mechanics. 00:00:28.290 --> 00:00:32.490 align:middle line:84% Saving money by doing his own work is real. 00:00:32.490 --> 00:00:37.050 align:middle line:84% Helping me with my Volkswagen, he looks up, 00:00:37.050 --> 00:00:41.280 align:middle line:84% oil smudged face, greasy handed, nostrils black and says, 00:00:41.280 --> 00:00:43.230 align:middle line:90% it's real, Jim. 00:00:43.230 --> 00:00:44.550 align:middle line:90% Feel that energy in his engine. 00:00:44.550 --> 00:00:45.810 align:middle line:90% Runs better. 00:00:45.810 --> 00:00:48.330 align:middle line:90% Beats paying a mechanic $100. 00:00:48.330 --> 00:00:50.520 align:middle line:90% And we can do it ourself. 00:00:50.520 --> 00:00:52.350 align:middle line:90% It's real. 00:00:52.350 --> 00:00:55.650 align:middle line:84% The following week, Bob and I go camping. 00:00:55.650 --> 00:00:57.540 align:middle line:84% Confident of his work and proud, he 00:00:57.540 --> 00:01:02.850 align:middle line:84% wants to try Doris as he calls his van up steep mountain 00:01:02.850 --> 00:01:05.310 align:middle line:90% terrain. 00:01:05.310 --> 00:01:07.680 align:middle line:90% My singleness glimmers bright. 00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:11.610 align:middle line:84% My freedom makes the land glow, the sky bluer. 00:01:11.610 --> 00:01:14.280 align:middle line:84% Common asphalt road winding to the foothills 00:01:14.280 --> 00:01:18.540 align:middle line:84% ignites each nerve into a sacred torch. 00:01:18.540 --> 00:01:21.420 align:middle line:90% It's been a long time. 00:01:21.420 --> 00:01:24.870 align:middle line:84% An ex-Vietnam grunt, instead of going back to New York, 00:01:24.870 --> 00:01:27.120 align:middle line:84% Bob became a backpack and stick handed 00:01:27.120 --> 00:01:31.080 align:middle line:84% hill man herding goat flocks in Placitas, 00:01:31.080 --> 00:01:34.830 align:middle line:84% with ram wool beard waist long, roamed gopher 00:01:34.830 --> 00:01:38.880 align:middle line:84% watered arroyos up snake burrowed coyote trails, healing 00:01:38.880 --> 00:01:41.280 align:middle line:84% himself in the shady cedar groves, 00:01:41.280 --> 00:01:44.790 align:middle line:90% and pincushion Yucca patches. 00:01:44.790 --> 00:01:48.030 align:middle line:84% We snuggle in our sleeping bags, look up at stars, 00:01:48.030 --> 00:01:52.200 align:middle line:84% want our lives to be simple, flames of natural gas 00:01:52.200 --> 00:01:54.150 align:middle line:90% from the bowels of Earth. 00:01:54.150 --> 00:01:59.250 align:middle line:84% Be us, plentiful, innocent humans. 00:01:59.250 --> 00:02:03.660 align:middle line:84% From his bag, Bob stares into the dark sky. 00:02:03.660 --> 00:02:08.460 align:middle line:84% Atop Sandia Crest at radio transmission poles 00:02:08.460 --> 00:02:10.320 align:middle line:84% blink red lights of flying mortar. 00:02:10.320 --> 00:02:12.960 align:middle line:90% 00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:14.310 align:middle line:90% Second night, set camp. 00:02:14.310 --> 00:02:17.460 align:middle line:84% And at midnight, follow Boulder bottom trail. 00:02:17.460 --> 00:02:21.630 align:middle line:84% Full moon fevers and folds of hills 00:02:21.630 --> 00:02:25.430 align:middle line:84% skid, gravel crust to smooth stream silt gully and follow 00:02:25.430 --> 00:02:29.070 align:middle line:90% roadside stream up. 00:02:29.070 --> 00:02:32.700 align:middle line:84% Suddenly, Bob plunges into the creek side brush. 00:02:32.700 --> 00:02:35.640 align:middle line:90% Splash wading stream. 00:02:35.640 --> 00:02:40.080 align:middle line:84% Belly down crouched near bloated bodies with dead leaf eyes. 00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:45.120 align:middle line:84% Then sloshes up bloody bank amid dying coughs and springs out 00:02:45.120 --> 00:02:48.030 align:middle line:84% of the brush as quickly, sopping wet, shivering, 00:02:48.030 --> 00:02:51.780 align:middle line:84% red faced in a full Cambodian moon. 00:02:51.780 --> 00:02:56.190 align:middle line:84% Old exhilaration of Nam patrols in his blue eyes. 00:02:56.190 --> 00:02:59.010 align:middle line:90% I understood. 00:02:59.010 --> 00:03:01.620 align:middle line:84% And then I showed him the old preacher's rock house, 00:03:01.620 --> 00:03:04.950 align:middle line:84% clothed in centuries wild clover and thorned laurel, 00:03:04.950 --> 00:03:10.500 align:middle line:84% caved-in ceiling vigas charred by livestock rubbings and dung, 00:03:10.500 --> 00:03:14.280 align:middle line:84% herded here during bad winter storms. 00:03:14.280 --> 00:03:16.770 align:middle line:90% I understood. 00:03:16.770 --> 00:03:20.940 align:middle line:84% And on the way back to Burque the next morning, 00:03:20.940 --> 00:03:26.370 align:middle line:84% passed Willard Estancia, towns hollowed by decades 00:03:26.370 --> 00:03:28.830 align:middle line:90% of blowing prairie dust. 00:03:28.830 --> 00:03:34.470 align:middle line:84% I thought, stones here are dream rooms 00:03:34.470 --> 00:03:37.720 align:middle line:90% with answers to my questions. 00:03:37.720 --> 00:03:40.260 align:middle line:90% But I can't stay. 00:03:40.260 --> 00:03:45.210 align:middle line:84% Those I know from various pueblos who have stayed, 00:03:45.210 --> 00:03:47.790 align:middle line:84% their lives are white cloaks my words wear 00:03:47.790 --> 00:03:51.540 align:middle line:90% on freezing nights in the city. 00:03:51.540 --> 00:03:53.850 align:middle line:84% The black hounds of Bob's tires bound us 00:03:53.850 --> 00:03:57.240 align:middle line:84% toward the dark hostile angles of the city panting necessity, 00:03:57.240 --> 00:04:01.200 align:middle line:84% necessity over cattle guards and arroyo dips. 00:04:01.200 --> 00:04:03.120 align:middle line:90% Necessity. 00:04:03.120 --> 00:04:04.950 align:middle line:84% And tear up the delicate blues stems 00:04:04.950 --> 00:04:07.740 align:middle line:90% of hours we spent camping. 00:04:07.740 --> 00:04:12.720 align:middle line:84% And as we enter the city limits, torch my body is dims. 00:04:12.720 --> 00:04:17.629 align:middle line:84% And slowly, an old darkness fills me again."