WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.540 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:00:00.540 --> 00:00:02.160 align:middle line:84% I'm going to finish by reading you 00:00:02.160 --> 00:00:06.030 align:middle line:84% from a piece which is going to be coming out next month, 00:00:06.030 --> 00:00:08.340 align:middle line:90% supposedly, in the New Yorker. 00:00:08.340 --> 00:00:12.405 align:middle line:90% And it's a memoir. 00:00:12.405 --> 00:00:17.310 align:middle line:90% 00:00:17.310 --> 00:00:22.500 align:middle line:84% One of my-- the job that I've done most consistently 00:00:22.500 --> 00:00:26.550 align:middle line:84% is to run a farm in Pakistan, which I know sounds 00:00:26.550 --> 00:00:28.080 align:middle line:90% like an odd thing to have done. 00:00:28.080 --> 00:00:32.439 align:middle line:84% But basically, when I finished college, 00:00:32.439 --> 00:00:36.930 align:middle line:84% my father, who'd been sending me more and more 00:00:36.930 --> 00:00:38.430 align:middle line:90% panicked letters from-- 00:00:38.430 --> 00:00:40.170 align:middle line:84% I was in college in America-- my father 00:00:40.170 --> 00:00:41.545 align:middle line:84% had been sending me more and more 00:00:41.545 --> 00:00:44.670 align:middle line:84% panicked letters from Pakistan trying to somehow snare 00:00:44.670 --> 00:00:46.200 align:middle line:90% my soul and body. 00:00:46.200 --> 00:00:47.280 align:middle line:90% And he said-- 00:00:47.280 --> 00:00:49.800 align:middle line:90% 00:00:49.800 --> 00:00:51.450 align:middle line:90% I love the Pakistani response. 00:00:51.450 --> 00:00:54.660 align:middle line:84% Because this woman is Pakistani and she just totally 00:00:54.660 --> 00:00:56.500 align:middle line:90% knows the whole story. 00:00:56.500 --> 00:00:58.320 align:middle line:84% So my father had been trying to somehow get 00:00:58.320 --> 00:01:01.590 align:middle line:84% me to come back to Pakistan, and what he effectively 00:01:01.590 --> 00:01:06.550 align:middle line:84% said, is look, you own this land in Pakistan. 00:01:06.550 --> 00:01:09.040 align:middle line:84% And if you don't come back there and take care of it, 00:01:09.040 --> 00:01:10.590 align:middle line:90% then you won't own it. 00:01:10.590 --> 00:01:13.080 align:middle line:84% Because I can no longer take care of it, 00:01:13.080 --> 00:01:15.720 align:middle line:84% and the people who are living on the land 00:01:15.720 --> 00:01:19.950 align:middle line:84% are not willing, any longer, to send us any money. 00:01:19.950 --> 00:01:22.710 align:middle line:84% And in a feudal system, which this one is, 00:01:22.710 --> 00:01:25.080 align:middle line:84% that's sort of like declaring independence. 00:01:25.080 --> 00:01:28.430 align:middle line:84% So it's sort of like Texas suddenly saying, 00:01:28.430 --> 00:01:31.020 align:middle line:84% we won't send any taxes to Washington. 00:01:31.020 --> 00:01:33.030 align:middle line:84% This is what these guys were doing. 00:01:33.030 --> 00:01:37.980 align:middle line:84% So I went back to Pakistan and took over this farm, 00:01:37.980 --> 00:01:42.810 align:middle line:84% and I was in the unfortunate position of knowing nothing 00:01:42.810 --> 00:01:47.250 align:middle line:84% about farming, and knowing nothing about Pakistan 00:01:47.250 --> 00:01:49.680 align:middle line:84% because I'd been in America since I was 13, 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:53.610 align:middle line:84% and being sort of a dreamy-eyed poet. 00:01:53.610 --> 00:01:56.010 align:middle line:84% And you know, I was not qualified 00:01:56.010 --> 00:02:01.410 align:middle line:84% to deal with these sharks who were actually running the land. 00:02:01.410 --> 00:02:03.810 align:middle line:84% These were some very hard characters, 00:02:03.810 --> 00:02:08.310 align:middle line:84% and certainly viewed me as the most consummate candy-ass 00:02:08.310 --> 00:02:09.239 align:middle line:90% they'd ever seen. 00:02:09.239 --> 00:02:11.250 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:11.250 --> 00:02:17.370 align:middle line:84% So I floated into this sort of situation 00:02:17.370 --> 00:02:21.840 align:middle line:84% with my Yeats, and Auden, and view of myself 00:02:21.840 --> 00:02:25.290 align:middle line:84% as a poet and a poet farmer, and with ideas 00:02:25.290 --> 00:02:28.082 align:middle line:90% of sort of organic farming. 00:02:28.082 --> 00:02:30.540 align:middle line:84% And they thought I was the most hilarious thing they'd ever 00:02:30.540 --> 00:02:35.760 align:middle line:84% seen, and assumed that I would soon go back to America, 00:02:35.760 --> 00:02:41.040 align:middle line:84% having taken my three blows, or however many one has to take. 00:02:41.040 --> 00:02:48.150 align:middle line:84% And so this piece is about going back to Pakistan and about what 00:02:48.150 --> 00:02:49.920 align:middle line:90% that felt like. 00:02:49.920 --> 00:02:51.780 align:middle line:84% One of the things that these guys did-- 00:02:51.780 --> 00:02:53.700 align:middle line:84% first of all, the piece is called 00:02:53.700 --> 00:02:55.470 align:middle line:90% "Sameer and the Samosas." 00:02:55.470 --> 00:02:58.080 align:middle line:84% And Sameer is the name of the head 00:02:58.080 --> 00:03:02.490 align:middle line:84% of the farm when I arrived, who had actually 00:03:02.490 --> 00:03:04.410 align:middle line:84% managed to become a member of Parliament, 00:03:04.410 --> 00:03:09.930 align:middle line:84% which suggests how great his depredations had been. 00:03:09.930 --> 00:03:16.050 align:middle line:84% And who owns actually, at the moment, more land than I do. 00:03:16.050 --> 00:03:20.250 align:middle line:84% So he has stepped up in the world. 00:03:20.250 --> 00:03:23.730 align:middle line:84% But Sameer, first of all, what he decided 00:03:23.730 --> 00:03:26.932 align:middle line:84% is that I must have some chink in my armor. 00:03:26.932 --> 00:03:28.890 align:middle line:84% I don't know why he thought I had armor at all. 00:03:28.890 --> 00:03:31.590 align:middle line:84% If he just sort of talked me about like a vision 00:03:31.590 --> 00:03:33.145 align:middle line:90% or something, I probably-- 00:03:33.145 --> 00:03:36.150 align:middle line:84% I don't know--Miłosz I probably would have given 00:03:36.150 --> 00:03:38.100 align:middle line:84% in immediately, and rolled on my belly, 00:03:38.100 --> 00:03:40.020 align:middle line:90% and he could have scratched it. 00:03:40.020 --> 00:03:42.420 align:middle line:84% But instead of which, he tried all sorts of things 00:03:42.420 --> 00:03:49.350 align:middle line:84% with me, including, I think, witchcraft. 00:03:49.350 --> 00:03:51.780 align:middle line:84% In Pakistan, in the place where I live, 00:03:51.780 --> 00:03:53.640 align:middle line:84% we're great believers in witchcraft. 00:03:53.640 --> 00:03:57.240 align:middle line:84% Which I'm not, but all of the people around me are. 00:03:57.240 --> 00:03:59.880 align:middle line:84% And this little bit I'm going to read to you 00:03:59.880 --> 00:04:05.180 align:middle line:84% is about how I think this guy tried to bewitch me. 00:04:05.180 --> 00:04:09.120 align:middle line:84% And I don't know if it worked or not, but at the time 00:04:09.120 --> 00:04:13.890 align:middle line:84% I felt pretty bewitched, so maybe he did. 00:04:13.890 --> 00:04:16.170 align:middle line:84% So what else do you need to know? 00:04:16.170 --> 00:04:18.940 align:middle line:90% 00:04:18.940 --> 00:04:19.990 align:middle line:90% I think that's about it. 00:04:19.990 --> 00:04:21.100 align:middle line:90% Anyway, yeah. 00:04:21.100 --> 00:04:22.749 align:middle line:90% I'll just start. 00:04:22.749 --> 00:04:25.840 align:middle line:84% "I had been at the farm perhaps six months, 00:04:25.840 --> 00:04:29.350 align:middle line:84% arriving in the fall cotton picking season, the wheat 00:04:29.350 --> 00:04:31.240 align:middle line:90% planting season. 00:04:31.240 --> 00:04:35.620 align:middle line:84% Now the wheat had ripened, yellow-eared in the fields. 00:04:35.620 --> 00:04:38.770 align:middle line:84% And every day I sat in the farm stores 00:04:38.770 --> 00:04:41.170 align:middle line:84% and weighed the bags of threshed grain 00:04:41.170 --> 00:04:44.200 align:middle line:84% as they were brought bouncing in on trolleys, 00:04:44.200 --> 00:04:49.210 align:middle line:84% the farmhands perched atop the bags ready to unload. 00:04:49.210 --> 00:04:51.760 align:middle line:84% The summer heat had struck here, just 00:04:51.760 --> 00:04:54.310 align:middle line:84% across the Indus from the town of Sibi, 00:04:54.310 --> 00:04:55.900 align:middle line:84% supposed to have been the hottest 00:04:55.900 --> 00:04:58.530 align:middle line:90% place in the British empire. 00:04:58.530 --> 00:05:01.230 align:middle line:84% That evening, I walked back to my house 00:05:01.230 --> 00:05:05.250 align:middle line:84% as the sun went over the horizon, my kurta salty 00:05:05.250 --> 00:05:07.920 align:middle line:90% with sweat--" that a shirt-- 00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:11.370 align:middle line:84% "the sky muted with dust and heavily 00:05:11.370 --> 00:05:15.690 align:middle line:84% orange as if the color weighed upon it. 00:05:15.690 --> 00:05:18.600 align:middle line:84% I did not allow Sameer to come into the garden 00:05:18.600 --> 00:05:24.248 align:middle line:84% as he usually did, in order to hash out the day's events. 00:05:24.248 --> 00:05:25.930 align:middle line:90% 'You go home. 00:05:25.930 --> 00:05:29.640 align:middle line:84% I've done enough business today.' 00:05:29.640 --> 00:05:33.690 align:middle line:84% Showered, cooling, I sat in the garden 00:05:33.690 --> 00:05:36.480 align:middle line:84% and smoked the rough local cigarettes 00:05:36.480 --> 00:05:40.900 align:middle line:84% because I could not get imported ones closer than Lahore. 00:05:40.900 --> 00:05:46.640 align:middle line:84% The pedestal fan swung back and forth, blowing on me. 00:05:46.640 --> 00:05:49.130 align:middle line:84% Because I did not then have air conditioning, 00:05:49.130 --> 00:05:52.910 align:middle line:84% it would be too hot to sit inside. 00:05:52.910 --> 00:05:57.140 align:middle line:84% The majordomo, Fazoo, walked through the rooms of the house 00:05:57.140 --> 00:06:00.140 align:middle line:84% behind my back snapping on the lights, 00:06:00.140 --> 00:06:03.050 align:middle line:90% a progressive transformation. 00:06:03.050 --> 00:06:06.310 align:middle line:90% I felt vulnerable and exposed. 00:06:06.310 --> 00:06:09.610 align:middle line:84% In my childhood, we always traveled with servants 00:06:09.610 --> 00:06:11.530 align:middle line:90% from Lahore. 00:06:11.530 --> 00:06:15.370 align:middle line:84% Fazoo, who had haunted this house for years and years, 00:06:15.370 --> 00:06:19.000 align:middle line:84% from before I was born, was not my familiar. 00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:23.590 align:middle line:84% Had treated even my father with a propriety that substituted 00:06:23.590 --> 00:06:25.960 align:middle line:84% for his emotions, which were entirely 00:06:25.960 --> 00:06:30.670 align:middle line:84% locked behind a strange, ageless, beardless Asiatic 00:06:30.670 --> 00:06:34.000 align:middle line:84% face and green eyes, the features 00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:37.210 align:middle line:84% of some long ago ancestor from the North 00:06:37.210 --> 00:06:38.740 align:middle line:90% again pressed into being. 00:06:38.740 --> 00:06:41.980 align:middle line:90% 00:06:41.980 --> 00:06:45.160 align:middle line:84% He would sell me out for a few sacks of wheat-- 00:06:45.160 --> 00:06:47.250 align:middle line:90% for nothing. 00:06:47.250 --> 00:06:49.320 align:middle line:90% Why shouldn't he? 00:06:49.320 --> 00:06:52.890 align:middle line:84% Everyone thought that I would soon be gone. 00:06:52.890 --> 00:06:57.090 align:middle line:84% Even my countenance betrayed me, not just my pale skin, 00:06:57.090 --> 00:07:00.780 align:middle line:84% but my expressions, the indecision of my smile, 00:07:00.780 --> 00:07:04.110 align:middle line:84% the absence of cunning, and most of all, 00:07:04.110 --> 00:07:06.560 align:middle line:90% the absence of command-- 00:07:06.560 --> 00:07:07.535 align:middle line:90% an American face. 00:07:07.535 --> 00:07:10.270 align:middle line:90% 00:07:10.270 --> 00:07:12.970 align:middle line:84% At the farm, I more and more lived 00:07:12.970 --> 00:07:16.600 align:middle line:84% according to routines, because only that way could I 00:07:16.600 --> 00:07:21.010 align:middle line:84% escape the paralyzing dread that sometimes came over me, 00:07:21.010 --> 00:07:23.200 align:middle line:84% the sense that I could trust no one 00:07:23.200 --> 00:07:27.460 align:middle line:84% and that soon I would be driven away to do God only knows what, 00:07:27.460 --> 00:07:32.140 align:middle line:84% to leave Pakistan a failure and work in America. 00:07:32.140 --> 00:07:36.880 align:middle line:84% Fazoo brought tea out to me now as he did each evening 00:07:36.880 --> 00:07:39.820 align:middle line:84% in the center of the lawn, the air fragrant 00:07:39.820 --> 00:07:41.530 align:middle line:90% with frangipani blossoms. 00:07:41.530 --> 00:07:45.100 align:middle line:84% And then returning to the house, came out 00:07:45.100 --> 00:07:50.692 align:middle line:84% with a platter covered with an embroidered handkerchief. 00:07:50.692 --> 00:07:56.690 align:middle line:84% 'What's this?' I asked, sniffing the scent of fried food. 00:07:56.690 --> 00:07:59.140 align:middle line:84% I had decided while living at the farm 00:07:59.140 --> 00:08:01.060 align:middle line:90% to keep a strict diet-- 00:08:01.060 --> 00:08:05.530 align:middle line:84% no booze, protein for breakfast and lunch, fruit for dinner, 00:08:05.530 --> 00:08:08.010 align:middle line:90% no snacks. 00:08:08.010 --> 00:08:12.060 align:middle line:84% At afternoon tea, Fazoo was to give me exactly three biscuits. 00:08:12.060 --> 00:08:15.220 align:middle line:90% In the evening, none. 00:08:15.220 --> 00:08:19.330 align:middle line:84% Though I drank endless cups of tea and glasses of lemonade, 00:08:19.330 --> 00:08:25.176 align:middle line:84% I lived with a little gnawing hunger, a mortification. 00:08:25.176 --> 00:08:29.150 align:middle line:84% 'Chaudhry Sameer Sahib have sent this from his own kitchen, 00:08:29.150 --> 00:08:32.509 align:middle line:84% made by his wife,' entered Fazoo-- 00:08:32.509 --> 00:08:33.009 align:middle line:90% samosas. 00:08:33.009 --> 00:08:35.666 align:middle line:90% 00:08:35.666 --> 00:08:39.580 align:middle line:84% 'I'll take just one,' I said, lifting the white embroidered 00:08:39.580 --> 00:08:43.270 align:middle line:84% cloth which was dabbed here and there with the oil that had 00:08:43.270 --> 00:08:45.280 align:middle line:90% soaked through. 00:08:45.280 --> 00:08:48.100 align:middle line:84% The samosas were smaller than they usually are-- 00:08:48.100 --> 00:08:51.400 align:middle line:84% two bites, very crisp, and fragrant 00:08:51.400 --> 00:08:53.980 align:middle line:90% with a minty fragrance. 00:08:53.980 --> 00:08:57.280 align:middle line:84% I lifted one of the carefully folded delicacies, 00:08:57.280 --> 00:09:00.400 align:middle line:84% looked at it, and then crunched into it-- 00:09:00.400 --> 00:09:02.490 align:middle line:90% delicious. 00:09:02.490 --> 00:09:07.350 align:middle line:84% Hot beef minced with spices crumbled onto my tongue. 00:09:07.350 --> 00:09:11.070 align:middle line:84% Fazoo had put the dish onto the table next to the tea things, 00:09:11.070 --> 00:09:13.440 align:middle line:84% and now I waved him away. 'That's fine. 00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:15.390 align:middle line:90% That's fine,' I said. 00:09:15.390 --> 00:09:19.770 align:middle line:84% Six more of the samosas, like browned pats of butter, 00:09:19.770 --> 00:09:21.870 align:middle line:90% sat on the dish. 00:09:21.870 --> 00:09:25.860 align:middle line:84% The crusts flaked off in dabs onto the plate 00:09:25.860 --> 00:09:28.940 align:middle line:90% which had an oily sheen. 00:09:28.940 --> 00:09:31.340 align:middle line:84% Sameer's wife had even taken the trouble 00:09:31.340 --> 00:09:35.150 align:middle line:84% to heat the platter to keep the treats warm. 00:09:35.150 --> 00:09:40.160 align:middle line:84% I washed my palate with milky tea, then lifted by its corner 00:09:40.160 --> 00:09:44.140 align:middle line:84% another of the dainty triangular morsels-- 00:09:44.140 --> 00:09:45.460 align:middle line:90% fabulous. 00:09:45.460 --> 00:09:49.420 align:middle line:84% This one had a different filling, little bits of potato, 00:09:49.420 --> 00:09:53.830 align:middle line:84% almost crunchy, and so spicy that my eyes watered. 00:09:53.830 --> 00:09:55.960 align:middle line:90% Another bite and it was gone. 00:09:55.960 --> 00:09:58.250 align:middle line:90% I must stop. 00:09:58.250 --> 00:10:01.470 align:middle line:84% Pouring myself more tea, adding milk and sugar, 00:10:01.470 --> 00:10:04.850 align:middle line:84% I eyed the platter still charged with five 00:10:04.850 --> 00:10:07.340 align:middle line:90% delicate little samosas. 00:10:07.340 --> 00:10:11.270 align:middle line:84% Each one seemed particular, unique itself. 00:10:11.270 --> 00:10:12.982 align:middle line:90% I laughed. 00:10:12.982 --> 00:10:14.905 align:middle line:84% 'For fuck's sake,' I said to myself, 00:10:14.905 --> 00:10:16.570 align:middle line:84% 'don't be such a fucking prune.' " 00:10:16.570 --> 00:10:18.010 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:10:18.010 --> 00:10:20.860 align:middle line:84% "My stomach growled with the eagerness. 00:10:20.860 --> 00:10:25.330 align:middle line:84% I took a sip of the newly poured tea, too hot, almost burning 00:10:25.330 --> 00:10:28.780 align:middle line:84% my tongue, then reached for another samosa. 00:10:28.780 --> 00:10:30.070 align:middle line:90% Different again! 00:10:30.070 --> 00:10:33.250 align:middle line:84% This one had a tomato chicken filling, sweet-ish 00:10:33.250 --> 00:10:35.540 align:middle line:90% but generously peppered. 00:10:35.540 --> 00:10:38.540 align:middle line:84% I worked my way through all the food on the platter-- 00:10:38.540 --> 00:10:40.760 align:middle line:90% all the samosas. 00:10:40.760 --> 00:10:44.270 align:middle line:84% Then finally, completely abandoning of myself, 00:10:44.270 --> 00:10:45.720 align:middle line:90% licked the platter itself." 00:10:45.720 --> 00:10:46.220 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:10:46.220 --> 00:10:51.140 align:middle line:84% "And even that had a complex, nutty flavor, the flakes 00:10:51.140 --> 00:10:55.420 align:middle line:90% of crust melting in my mouth. 00:10:55.420 --> 00:10:59.990 align:middle line:84% Sitting back, I took out a cigarette and lit it. 00:10:59.990 --> 00:11:02.620 align:middle line:90% I felt better. 00:11:02.620 --> 00:11:07.060 align:middle line:84% The chorus of birds that earlier had filled the garden now 00:11:07.060 --> 00:11:09.490 align:middle line:84% were silent, and had been replaced 00:11:09.490 --> 00:11:11.770 align:middle line:84% by the sound of the night insects-- 00:11:11.770 --> 00:11:16.090 align:middle line:84% a steady, humming background, with some different genus 00:11:16.090 --> 00:11:19.950 align:middle line:84% occasionally breaking in with an aria. 00:11:19.950 --> 00:11:21.950 align:middle line:90% The breeze came up. 00:11:21.950 --> 00:11:24.680 align:middle line:84% The moon came up over the high mud walls 00:11:24.680 --> 00:11:27.220 align:middle line:90% that surrounded the garden. 00:11:27.220 --> 00:11:33.030 align:middle line:84% All the dogs in the village barked then fell silent. 00:11:33.030 --> 00:11:36.750 align:middle line:84% The food that the cook in the house prepared for me 00:11:36.750 --> 00:11:40.640 align:middle line:84% had no personality, no love in it. 00:11:40.640 --> 00:11:43.580 align:middle line:84% The cook used the most expensive ingredients, 00:11:43.580 --> 00:11:45.890 align:middle line:84% but assembled the food without care, 00:11:45.890 --> 00:11:48.850 align:middle line:90% without harmony of flavors. 00:11:48.850 --> 00:11:52.180 align:middle line:84% These samosas have been made with something akin to love, 00:11:52.180 --> 00:11:53.740 align:middle line:90% with close attention. 00:11:53.740 --> 00:11:57.370 align:middle line:90% 00:11:57.370 --> 00:12:01.450 align:middle line:84% I had not had any human contact, any loving contact, 00:12:01.450 --> 00:12:05.710 align:middle line:84% for six months since I first came to the farm. 00:12:05.710 --> 00:12:10.090 align:middle line:84% But this food touched me, had a message of concern in it, 00:12:10.090 --> 00:12:13.380 align:middle line:90% of interest, like a letter. 00:12:13.380 --> 00:12:16.170 align:middle line:84% I had never met Sameer's wife, whom 00:12:16.170 --> 00:12:18.420 align:middle line:84% he could afford to keep in purdah, 00:12:18.420 --> 00:12:21.810 align:middle line:84% But I imagined the little courtyard in the manager's 00:12:21.810 --> 00:12:26.400 align:middle line:84% house shaded and cemented, with a separate kitchen outside, 00:12:26.400 --> 00:12:27.840 align:middle line:90% and the fat woman-- 00:12:27.840 --> 00:12:29.580 align:middle line:90% she would certainly be fat-- 00:12:29.580 --> 00:12:31.950 align:middle line:84% who, with her clean hennaed hands, 00:12:31.950 --> 00:12:35.960 align:middle line:84% folded the paper-thin dough of the samosas. 00:12:35.960 --> 00:12:40.760 align:middle line:84% She dropped the filled, bulging savories one by one 00:12:40.760 --> 00:12:46.270 align:middle line:84% into the boiling hot oil, the oil furiously churning. 00:12:46.270 --> 00:12:49.680 align:middle line:84% I imagined the spattering and popping oil, 00:12:49.680 --> 00:12:55.270 align:middle line:84% the ladle with which she removed the browned little morsels. 00:12:55.270 --> 00:12:59.290 align:middle line:84% Perhaps Sameed sat by while she cooked, 00:12:59.290 --> 00:13:03.610 align:middle line:84% telling her to be careful, to make them well." 00:13:03.610 --> 00:13:04.120 align:middle line:90% Thank you. 00:13:04.120 --> 00:13:07.170 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:13:07.170 --> 00:13:12.000 align:middle line:90%