WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.260 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.260 --> 00:00:03.000 align:middle line:90% True story. 00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:05.190 align:middle line:90% It is. 00:00:05.190 --> 00:00:06.660 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:00:06.660 --> 00:00:09.780 align:middle line:84% And for my next offering, I'd like 00:00:09.780 --> 00:00:12.300 align:middle line:84% to read an excerpt from the essay "Beautiful 00:00:12.300 --> 00:00:15.900 align:middle line:84% City of Tirzah", which I hope will draw you even more 00:00:15.900 --> 00:00:18.860 align:middle line:84% deeply into my family's strange and weird world. 00:00:18.860 --> 00:00:21.930 align:middle line:84% So OK-- it's from "Beautiful City of Tirzah". 00:00:21.930 --> 00:00:25.300 align:middle line:90% 00:00:25.300 --> 00:00:27.940 align:middle line:84% Animals come after my father dies-- 00:00:27.940 --> 00:00:34.420 align:middle line:84% dogs, cats, ducks, geese, goat, a peacock. 00:00:34.420 --> 00:00:38.350 align:middle line:84% They wander our to our home several years into his absence, 00:00:38.350 --> 00:00:40.810 align:middle line:84% appearing on our doorstep or catching our eye 00:00:40.810 --> 00:00:43.000 align:middle line:90% from feed store cages. 00:00:43.000 --> 00:00:45.520 align:middle line:90% Always, we take them in. 00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:48.730 align:middle line:84% We line our laundry room floor with bath towels and bed 00:00:48.730 --> 00:00:51.880 align:middle line:84% sheets, fill cereal bowls of tap water and dry food, 00:00:51.880 --> 00:00:55.760 align:middle line:84% then flick off the light to watch them sleep. 00:00:55.760 --> 00:00:57.680 align:middle line:84% Strays make the best pets, my mother 00:00:57.680 --> 00:00:59.870 align:middle line:90% tells the five of us kids. 00:00:59.870 --> 00:01:00.710 align:middle line:90% They won't leave. 00:01:00.710 --> 00:01:05.040 align:middle line:90% 00:01:05.040 --> 00:01:10.412 align:middle line:84% Beggar's night, 1970-- my big brother is late again. 00:01:10.412 --> 00:01:12.870 align:middle line:84% Our mother has said he could play after supper on the ditch 00:01:12.870 --> 00:01:15.450 align:middle line:84% bank behind our house to see if neighbors will give him 00:01:15.450 --> 00:01:17.160 align:middle line:90% Halloween candy a day early. 00:01:17.160 --> 00:01:20.190 align:middle line:84% But when I peek outside to investigate, to check on him, 00:01:20.190 --> 00:01:22.440 align:middle line:90% the sun is already set. 00:01:22.440 --> 00:01:25.830 align:middle line:84% Shadows drip like blue ink from the cottonwoods. 00:01:25.830 --> 00:01:27.930 align:middle line:84% But I don't say anything to our mother, who 00:01:27.930 --> 00:01:30.120 align:middle line:84% sits in her antique rocker, tapping a Russian olive 00:01:30.120 --> 00:01:32.950 align:middle line:90% switch on the floor. 00:01:32.950 --> 00:01:34.930 align:middle line:84% I scoot on my knees across the hardwood floor 00:01:34.930 --> 00:01:37.180 align:middle line:84% to take my place before the living room TV 00:01:37.180 --> 00:01:39.040 align:middle line:84% where my three sisters huddle before a movie 00:01:39.040 --> 00:01:41.920 align:middle line:90% of the week, Doctor No. 00:01:41.920 --> 00:01:43.570 align:middle line:90% It's a school night. 00:01:43.570 --> 00:01:45.820 align:middle line:90% We've changed into our pajamas. 00:01:45.820 --> 00:01:48.670 align:middle line:90% Our hair is damp from the bath. 00:01:48.670 --> 00:01:50.380 align:middle line:90% Mom? 00:01:50.380 --> 00:01:52.390 align:middle line:90% The back door thuds open. 00:01:52.390 --> 00:01:54.940 align:middle line:84% My brother clamps to the kitchen, 00:01:54.940 --> 00:01:57.070 align:middle line:84% breathing hard, as if he's been running. 00:01:57.070 --> 00:01:58.840 align:middle line:84% Our mother stand, grips the switch, 00:01:58.840 --> 00:02:00.850 align:middle line:84% and intercepts him in the dining room. 00:02:00.850 --> 00:02:02.800 align:middle line:84% The overhead light flicks on, bright 00:02:02.800 --> 00:02:04.520 align:middle line:90% as an interrogation lamp. 00:02:04.520 --> 00:02:05.020 align:middle line:90% Wait! 00:02:05.020 --> 00:02:05.710 align:middle line:90% He pleads. 00:02:05.710 --> 00:02:06.790 align:middle line:90% I found something. 00:02:06.790 --> 00:02:09.220 align:middle line:90% Look. 00:02:09.220 --> 00:02:13.150 align:middle line:84% I scramble to my feet and jockey for position with my sisters. 00:02:13.150 --> 00:02:14.770 align:middle line:84% Our brother reaches into his jacket 00:02:14.770 --> 00:02:17.180 align:middle line:90% and extracts a small bundle-- 00:02:17.180 --> 00:02:20.380 align:middle line:90% a baby bird squints at us. 00:02:20.380 --> 00:02:21.970 align:middle line:90% An owl, my mother says. 00:02:21.970 --> 00:02:23.050 align:middle line:90% It's adorable. 00:02:23.050 --> 00:02:25.305 align:middle line:90% Where did you find it? 00:02:25.305 --> 00:02:26.680 align:middle line:84% My brother had been hurrying home 00:02:26.680 --> 00:02:29.800 align:middle line:84% along the acequia when he heard a rustling from the bushes. 00:02:29.800 --> 00:02:32.470 align:middle line:84% When he slid down the embankment to investigate, 00:02:32.470 --> 00:02:35.750 align:middle line:84% a hatchling skittered through the dirt. 00:02:35.750 --> 00:02:39.370 align:middle line:84% He thought it might have broken its wing, so he scooped it up. 00:02:39.370 --> 00:02:41.710 align:middle line:84% I looked for the nest but couldn't find it, he says. 00:02:41.710 --> 00:02:43.480 align:middle line:90% And I saw its mama by a tree. 00:02:43.480 --> 00:02:46.090 align:middle line:90% Someone shot her or something. 00:02:46.090 --> 00:02:49.310 align:middle line:84% Our mother holds the owl to the warmth of her body. 00:02:49.310 --> 00:02:51.145 align:middle line:90% It looks up at her and blinks. 00:02:51.145 --> 00:02:56.450 align:middle line:90% 00:02:56.450 --> 00:02:58.940 align:middle line:84% An ornithologist who lives down the street tells my mother 00:02:58.940 --> 00:03:00.530 align:middle line:90% we've adopted a screech owl-- 00:03:00.530 --> 00:03:04.040 align:middle line:84% probably a female, given the description over the phone. 00:03:04.040 --> 00:03:05.907 align:middle line:84% Although it's not allowed under city codes, 00:03:05.907 --> 00:03:08.240 align:middle line:84% we can probably nurse the chick until she gets stronger, 00:03:08.240 --> 00:03:09.530 align:middle line:90% he says. 00:03:09.530 --> 00:03:11.990 align:middle line:84% Feed her bits of stew meat, keep her in a cage, 00:03:11.990 --> 00:03:14.810 align:middle line:90% and watch out for our cats. 00:03:14.810 --> 00:03:17.840 align:middle line:84% My mother follows his advice but vetoes the cage. 00:03:17.840 --> 00:03:21.060 align:middle line:84% She wants the owl to fly freely in her home. 00:03:21.060 --> 00:03:23.630 align:middle line:84% She retrieves a cardboard box from behind Safeway, 00:03:23.630 --> 00:03:25.970 align:middle line:84% lines with newspapers and old towels, 00:03:25.970 --> 00:03:28.978 align:middle line:84% and places a pinion branch inside as a perch. 00:03:28.978 --> 00:03:31.520 align:middle line:84% Then she sits the whole thing on the dining room pottery case 00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:35.120 align:middle line:84% where our fat tabbies can't reach. 00:03:35.120 --> 00:03:39.200 align:middle line:84% The owl is the size and shape of an upside-down pear. 00:03:39.200 --> 00:03:42.020 align:middle line:84% Her feathers are gray with salt and pepper speckles. 00:03:42.020 --> 00:03:45.110 align:middle line:84% She has two tufts that look like ears or horns, 00:03:45.110 --> 00:03:48.770 align:middle line:84% and a beak as sharp and shiny black as her talons. 00:03:48.770 --> 00:03:51.140 align:middle line:84% What I like best are her eyes, piercing 00:03:51.140 --> 00:03:54.050 align:middle line:90% yellow, the size of dimes. 00:03:54.050 --> 00:03:57.590 align:middle line:84% When she looks at me, it's like she's reading my mind or seeing 00:03:57.590 --> 00:03:59.840 align:middle line:90% something I can't. 00:03:59.840 --> 00:04:02.600 align:middle line:84% My aunt Molly can't even meet her gaze. 00:04:02.600 --> 00:04:05.960 align:middle line:84% The owl's eyes, Molly says, are too human. 00:04:05.960 --> 00:04:11.330 align:middle line:90% 00:04:11.330 --> 00:04:14.570 align:middle line:84% My mother considers the bird's name carefully. 00:04:14.570 --> 00:04:17.420 align:middle line:84% Usually, she names the pets after artists she admires-- 00:04:17.420 --> 00:04:20.839 align:middle line:84% like Toshiro, the Japanese actor for the silky black and white 00:04:20.839 --> 00:04:21.950 align:middle line:90% cat. 00:04:21.950 --> 00:04:23.630 align:middle line:84% Or sometimes, she chooses characters 00:04:23.630 --> 00:04:25.370 align:middle line:84% from her favorite films, like Tonya 00:04:25.370 --> 00:04:28.640 align:middle line:84% from Doctor Zhivago for the German shepherd. 00:04:28.640 --> 00:04:32.440 align:middle line:84% For the owl, my mother selects Tirzah. 00:04:32.440 --> 00:04:35.473 align:middle line:84% Tirzah, she says, savoring the syllables which 00:04:35.473 --> 00:04:37.390 align:middle line:84% break like the morning sun through the crystal 00:04:37.390 --> 00:04:40.360 align:middle line:84% above her bedroom window, turquoise and gold. 00:04:40.360 --> 00:04:42.490 align:middle line:90% My little Tirzah. 00:04:42.490 --> 00:04:43.240 align:middle line:90% What's it mean? 00:04:43.240 --> 00:04:44.540 align:middle line:90% I ask. 00:04:44.540 --> 00:04:48.640 align:middle line:84% It's an old name, a religious name from the Bible. 00:04:48.640 --> 00:04:50.500 align:middle line:90% Later, I looked it up. 00:04:50.500 --> 00:04:54.190 align:middle line:84% Tirzah, a city in Palestine, a beautiful place 00:04:54.190 --> 00:04:56.860 align:middle line:84% alluded to in the Songs of Solomon. 00:04:56.860 --> 00:04:59.200 align:middle line:84% You're as beautiful, my darling, as Tirzah. 00:04:59.200 --> 00:05:03.020 align:middle line:90% 00:05:03.020 --> 00:05:05.120 align:middle line:84% Each morning, my mother sets the owl's box 00:05:05.120 --> 00:05:09.380 align:middle line:84% on the dining room table while she sketches or pays bills. 00:05:09.380 --> 00:05:13.340 align:middle line:84% Tirzah hops out and waddles over to nibble my mother's pen. 00:05:13.340 --> 00:05:16.437 align:middle line:84% If she leaves the room, the owl scurries after her. 00:05:16.437 --> 00:05:18.020 align:middle line:84% The only way she can finish her chores 00:05:18.020 --> 00:05:19.700 align:middle line:84% is to wrap the bird in a washcloth 00:05:19.700 --> 00:05:23.320 align:middle line:84% and tuck her in the breast pocket of her denim work shirt. 00:05:23.320 --> 00:05:25.610 align:middle line:84% Tirzah remains there for hours, lulled 00:05:25.610 --> 00:05:27.171 align:middle line:90% by my mother's heartbeat. 00:05:27.171 --> 00:05:31.500 align:middle line:90% 00:05:31.500 --> 00:05:34.530 align:middle line:84% On Sunday evenings, my grandmother Desolina 00:05:34.530 --> 00:05:37.860 align:middle line:84% stops by our house for red chili enchiladas. 00:05:37.860 --> 00:05:40.830 align:middle line:84% Over supper, she grumbles about her childhood in Corrales, 00:05:40.830 --> 00:05:45.120 align:middle line:84% growing up among horses, cows, and chickens in a drafty adobe 00:05:45.120 --> 00:05:47.280 align:middle line:84% where black widow spiders dropped from the rafters 00:05:47.280 --> 00:05:49.805 align:middle line:84% into her tin cup of milk or coffee. 00:05:49.805 --> 00:05:51.180 align:middle line:84% She hated every minute of it, she 00:05:51.180 --> 00:05:53.500 align:middle line:84% says, chewing with her mouth open-- 00:05:53.500 --> 00:05:56.430 align:middle line:84% but learned the old ways despite herself. 00:05:56.430 --> 00:05:59.430 align:middle line:84% She knows how to bleed a goat, how to age red wine, 00:05:59.430 --> 00:06:03.120 align:middle line:84% and how to treat a rattlesnake by chewing tobacco. 00:06:03.120 --> 00:06:06.720 align:middle line:90% And she knows about spirits. 00:06:06.720 --> 00:06:08.850 align:middle line:84% While my mother collects the supper dishes, 00:06:08.850 --> 00:06:10.728 align:middle line:84% I line up my toy knights on the kitchen table 00:06:10.728 --> 00:06:12.270 align:middle line:84% and listen to the two of them whisper 00:06:12.270 --> 00:06:15.540 align:middle line:90% in Spanish about dead relatives. 00:06:15.540 --> 00:06:17.880 align:middle line:84% When Desolina catches me eavesdropping-- 00:06:17.880 --> 00:06:19.830 align:middle line:90% and she always catches me-- 00:06:19.830 --> 00:06:21.690 align:middle line:84% she laughs under her breath and beckons 00:06:21.690 --> 00:06:24.160 align:middle line:90% with an arthritic finger. 00:06:24.160 --> 00:06:27.120 align:middle line:84% Come here, mijito, she says, leaning forward and clutching 00:06:27.120 --> 00:06:29.250 align:middle line:90% a shiny black handbag. 00:06:29.250 --> 00:06:31.980 align:middle line:84% And then, in a low, raspy voice, she 00:06:31.980 --> 00:06:35.400 align:middle line:84% describes the fireballs dancing along the Rio Grande bosque, 00:06:35.400 --> 00:06:37.980 align:middle line:84% the footsteps dragging down her hallway at midnight, 00:06:37.980 --> 00:06:40.093 align:middle line:84% and the crone who transformed into a banshee 00:06:40.093 --> 00:06:42.510 align:middle line:84% when one evening to chase her brother home with an acequia 00:06:42.510 --> 00:06:44.700 align:middle line:90% near Bernalillo. 00:06:44.700 --> 00:06:48.000 align:middle line:84% It's all true, she says, nodding at my white eyes, 00:06:48.000 --> 00:06:51.750 align:middle line:84% then breaking into a smile of red lipstick and crooked teeth. 00:06:51.750 --> 00:06:55.930 align:middle line:84% And did you go to church like I told you? 00:06:55.930 --> 00:06:58.750 align:middle line:84% When Tirzah flutters by, my grandmother 00:06:58.750 --> 00:07:01.350 align:middle line:90% makes the sign of the cross. 00:07:01.350 --> 00:07:06.320 align:middle line:84% Owls, she says, are bad omens, messengers of the night. 00:07:06.320 --> 00:07:08.010 align:middle line:90% Que fea, she mutters. 00:07:08.010 --> 00:07:11.670 align:middle line:84% Why did you bring that ugly thing in your home? 00:07:11.670 --> 00:07:12.930 align:middle line:90% My mother shrugs. 00:07:12.930 --> 00:07:15.540 align:middle line:90% I think she's gorgeous. 00:07:15.540 --> 00:07:18.390 align:middle line:84% When Tirzah settles on the chair back across from her, 00:07:18.390 --> 00:07:22.400 align:middle line:84% Desolina holds the owl's gaze for a full 30 seconds. 00:07:22.400 --> 00:07:25.290 align:middle line:84% Then she slips the glow in the dark rosary from her purse, 00:07:25.290 --> 00:07:28.970 align:middle line:90% turns her head, and spits. 00:07:28.970 --> 00:07:30.490 align:middle line:90% Thank you. 00:07:30.490 --> 00:07:33.920 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:07:33.920 --> 00:07:36.380 align:middle line:90% 00:07:36.380 --> 00:07:38.230 align:middle line:90% Almost done.