"Four.
Abiogenesis.
To flux, to squat.
A conjunction of living and non-living matter.
In the book without purpose with a dead start, but with the body
displaying signs of early spring.
Pink bits sensitive to being touched like a Jain woman
crossing the street in her linen mask and with her pole.
And in blacked out jungle space, the view walked.
The river flowed out of its given shape and into my eyes.
Even the sky was a volatile all-powerful parent.
I fantasized about having larger breasts than I do.
Just beneath the mesh on the divan in the sun,
I fell asleep even as ashram life unfolded behind me.
The rustle of the women's saris as they cleaned the bell.
Each God was dressed with marigolds and a fresh trap
of white cloth, folded and creased like a chrysalis
around the eight blue limbs.
On a crisp Easter morning in London, I stripped down.
Over the years, I received my society's support.
In the States, I worked hard at waitressing.
I read Ava.
I sold things off when the time came.
And though, if I'd waited, I would have made an even greater
profit, I'm glad I did.
Without any real feelings, I returned to the United Kingdom
where it was all fish and chips then?
"Let's go to Blockbuster and get a video.
What do you want to watch?
Die Hard Three?
What?
With what's his name?
Nah, hate him.
What about Spooks?
We can watch it from the beginning.
Nah, I fancy staying in.
Do you?
I denuded the garden of its branches.
I chewed them up.
You put me down.
My ashes found their spot on the mantel and no one moved them.
In some sense, I was still your friend.
My body kept yours safe on the long nights
when your body drowned itself in the habit of the dream.
Its green.
Abiogenesis, to flux and squat in an inhabited place,
risking something.
What?
I loved that scene next to the car in The Piano Teacher.
When I was a child, I used to strip down and beat myself
with a stick.
Is this a root distinguished from its branching plant,
kept in a jar on the shelf to grow, watered, schizophrenic?
Is it a right thing or a mad thing not to want to reconnect?
To avoid reading or writing because of what those
will bring.
Dreamed I left my coat on the aeroplane."
[APPLAUSE]