WEBVTT

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This is something I think
we've all experienced and never

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enjoyed, the
physical examination

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by your medical doctor.

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[LAUGHTER]

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You notice I have a runny nose.

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I always have a runny nose.

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And I asked my doctor why
I always had a runny nose.

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And he said, it's because
you're getting on.

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[LAUGHTER]

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And I thought, you know,
I know a lot of people

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older than I am who
don't have a runny nose.

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So how come?

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Then I thought about that
cliché, "getting on."

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Is that like getting over it?

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What does that mean?

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There's this wonderful line
in MacLeish's J.B., a play,

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where the girl says,
what about the sparrows?

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What happens to the sparrows?

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You never see one dead.

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And the reporter talking to
her says, they get over it.

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[LAUGHTER]

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So this is the account of that
physical examination in which

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they remove all your privacy.

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They poke and prod everywhere.

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They ask you questions you can't
answer or don't want to answer.

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And it's just an ordeal.

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And I call it, "Getting On."

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"The doctor enters from stage
left, his stethoscope dangling.

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He lights a candle.

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Take off everything from
your waist up, and down.

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Supply a biblical
reference, nothing

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to do with raising the
dead or ethnic violence.

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If you can't think
of one, make one up,

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unless you have had a
very rough lifestyle.

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Are you a member of the Zulu
Social and Pleasure Club

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in New Orleans?

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Have you ever played Bolero
nonstop for 48 hours?

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Were you high on
booze and bennies

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when you killed your
crime partner in a hotel

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in Fillmore, Utah?

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Is there a hotel
in Fillmore, Utah?

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He attaches the Richter
scale to my scrotum.

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Post-nasal drip is common
among those who are getting on.

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Your kidneys are very pretty.

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Your prostate is symmetrical.

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Telescope technology
may help your eyes.

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Unused embryos are
now being adopted.

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You are deeply flawed
and parenthetical.

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You are being recorded.

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You are getting on.

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There is the
possibility that you

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will feel OK for a short time.

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[LAUGHTER]

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A little bird told
me that, the liar."

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[LAUGHTER]

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