WEBVTT

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"Trains."

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This is for my sister Edie.

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This early in the morning,
the clouds have cleared

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and I hear the whistles
of train after train

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rolling across the desert
five miles south in the dark.

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I remember trains,
the one that carried

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you north to the
forest in autumn,

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as if no other mode of
travel was good enough.

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But we had our own, didn't we?

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The warm tongue of dope,
cool teeth of booze,

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the dirty fingers of men whose
names we could never remember

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no matter how hard we tried.

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What was it about
us we hated so much?

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Sleeping in strangers beds was
easier than even approaching

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that age old question.

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The ratty Motor Lodge just
south of Newport that summer,

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its depression ware dishes
in dull primary colors,

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the muddy spring trickling
down to the beach like blood

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from a cut.

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No one could ever sweep all the
grit off those chipped linoleum

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tiles.

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The two brothers who owned the
place, what do the older ones

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hands feel like on your skin?

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I met a man just after you left.

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When we slid away from the bar
and headed out to his house

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he was the nicest guy I'd
ever known in my life.

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But there were Nam ghosts
inside those walls, shadows

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of his petrified wife and kids.

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He had to take a shower
right after we did it

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on the living room floor.

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He laid down a blanket first
and quoted Genesis to me.

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The tracks were just
behind his back fence

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and I could see myself running
along those shrieking metal

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rails, nothing but
the clothes on my back

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and a photo of you
in my pocket, you're

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scared eyes staring at nothing.

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I pulled myself up into one
of those empty cars heading

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east or west, it didn't
make any difference.

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After I caught my breath,
I glanced back toward town.

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Not a single soul was watching.

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