WEBVTT

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"The Last Letter Home."

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Out of the dark window, I see
an older man in miniature,

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squealing beyond each
frightening and specific

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death--

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that's me or that's you
death, fading into the future

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I am questioning.

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I pick the pen up and put it
down and pick it up again.

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The process takes years
of passion and refusal,

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so we never sleep.

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It's raining here in Iowa,
the mountains in Arizona, now

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Oregon, and the hate grows
out of our heads like hair

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from a corpse.

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The landscape bends so far
I can't see you anymore.

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This is the poem
of the sun, trapped

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like a ray of bad light--

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guilt, which I take to
mean this constant talking.

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I would like to understand the
restrictions you impose on me.

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The same nose, the same eyes
which turn inward like anxiety

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and be free.

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The generations of
worms, which I constantly

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discover are real as I
grow older keep reciting,

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it's no use, love him.

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It's easy.

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It's biblical.

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Forgive me if I fail.

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When I write these
letters, it's me

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I hate, confessing similitude.

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So if you die before the
next last letter home,

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beekeeper of the only
trust we've known--

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memory.

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And I will take your name.

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It will be like learning to
be ridiculous all over again.

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The comical dwarf unsteady on
his feet, the dumb loneliness

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sucking at his chest.

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