WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.140 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.140 --> 00:00:05.070 align:middle line:84% Well, I guess now the son should read 00:00:05.070 --> 00:00:08.880 align:middle line:90% about himself a little bit. 00:00:08.880 --> 00:00:10.515 align:middle line:90% This is "Childhood 1." 00:00:10.515 --> 00:00:13.590 align:middle line:90% 00:00:13.590 --> 00:00:16.410 align:middle line:84% "These were among my first thoughts on Earth 00:00:16.410 --> 00:00:20.670 align:middle line:84% that I had been put here as some kind of reward, 00:00:20.670 --> 00:00:23.880 align:middle line:84% given a gift for being what I was. 00:00:23.880 --> 00:00:26.730 align:middle line:84% And I loved my bike as an emissary 00:00:26.730 --> 00:00:29.730 align:middle line:84% from that power to give me gifts. 00:00:29.730 --> 00:00:33.030 align:middle line:84% I talked to my bike praising it for moving 00:00:33.030 --> 00:00:35.850 align:middle line:84% at the command of my pedaling and steering 00:00:35.850 --> 00:00:38.490 align:middle line:84% in the right direction at my touch. 00:00:38.490 --> 00:00:41.250 align:middle line:84% The sidewalk lying flat and still 00:00:41.250 --> 00:00:44.340 align:middle line:84% in expectation of the bike cooperated 00:00:44.340 --> 00:00:47.880 align:middle line:84% with the powers that be and no one stood in its path 00:00:47.880 --> 00:00:49.770 align:middle line:90% to topple me over. 00:00:49.770 --> 00:00:52.860 align:middle line:84% The wind brushing against my face 00:00:52.860 --> 00:00:55.710 align:middle line:90% was like the hand of approval. 00:00:55.710 --> 00:01:00.660 align:middle line:84% Where then was the change hiding, the hidden change? 00:01:00.660 --> 00:01:02.700 align:middle line:84% I never thought the bike betrayed me 00:01:02.700 --> 00:01:04.830 align:middle line:90% nor the sidewalk nor the wind. 00:01:04.830 --> 00:01:09.780 align:middle line:84% But now I see them simply as means, and the betrayer is me. 00:01:09.780 --> 00:01:13.380 align:middle line:84% I cannot call the bike an emissary to tool, 00:01:13.380 --> 00:01:17.550 align:middle line:84% the sidewalk as a path, the wind as a current of air. 00:01:17.550 --> 00:01:20.880 align:middle line:84% We are not talking to each other or communicating 00:01:20.880 --> 00:01:22.520 align:middle line:90% that I'm aware of. 00:01:22.520 --> 00:01:23.520 align:middle line:90% But what does it matter? 00:01:23.520 --> 00:01:27.030 align:middle line:84% I tell myself as long as I am free to use them 00:01:27.030 --> 00:01:28.590 align:middle line:90% for my delight. 00:01:28.590 --> 00:01:30.600 align:middle line:90% But I am alone in my pleasures. 00:01:30.600 --> 00:01:33.060 align:middle line:90% I am not the child of anyone. 00:01:33.060 --> 00:01:37.740 align:middle line:84% For as I see myself growing the bike shrinks in size 00:01:37.740 --> 00:01:41.550 align:middle line:84% and the sidewalk fills with cracks and bumps. 00:01:41.550 --> 00:01:44.910 align:middle line:84% The wind on my face in cold weather chills me. 00:01:44.910 --> 00:01:48.570 align:middle line:84% And when I eat, I know it is because of appetite. 00:01:48.570 --> 00:01:51.900 align:middle line:84% I have become something else to myself 00:01:51.900 --> 00:01:55.860 align:middle line:84% other than with the bike, the sidewalk, and the wind. 00:01:55.860 --> 00:01:58.320 align:middle line:84% Because the bike never is hungry, 00:01:58.320 --> 00:02:01.560 align:middle line:84% the sidewalk, and the wind because the bike 00:02:01.560 --> 00:02:03.990 align:middle line:84% never is hungry nor does the sidewalk ever 00:02:03.990 --> 00:02:05.470 align:middle line:90% have to go to bed. 00:02:05.470 --> 00:02:08.160 align:middle line:84% And sometimes the wind stops blowing 00:02:08.160 --> 00:02:11.370 align:middle line:84% and does not exist for me which would have frightened me 00:02:11.370 --> 00:02:13.290 align:middle line:90% about myself earlier. 00:02:13.290 --> 00:02:15.810 align:middle line:84% While the wind never is frightened, 00:02:15.810 --> 00:02:18.630 align:middle line:84% I never hear it speak about itself 00:02:18.630 --> 00:02:21.630 align:middle line:84% as I am beginning to speak about myself. 00:02:21.630 --> 00:02:24.930 align:middle line:84% And I know there is something about me very different. 00:02:24.930 --> 00:02:27.310 align:middle line:84% And sometimes I am panicky about it. 00:02:27.310 --> 00:02:30.000 align:middle line:84% But more often, I am glad because I 00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:32.520 align:middle line:84% have something else to turn to and pleasure, 00:02:32.520 --> 00:02:36.510 align:middle line:84% and that is myself which always is with me. 00:02:36.510 --> 00:02:40.380 align:middle line:84% But I am alone because a tree looks lonely to me now 00:02:40.380 --> 00:02:43.890 align:middle line:84% standing by itself, whereas earlier I had thought 00:02:43.890 --> 00:02:48.510 align:middle line:84% it beautiful telling me what I felt about myself too, 00:02:48.510 --> 00:02:51.600 align:middle line:90% that I was, that we both were. 00:02:51.600 --> 00:02:55.650 align:middle line:84% Now, it looks lonely, but I know that again is my thinking, 00:02:55.650 --> 00:02:59.340 align:middle line:84% and thinking is my pleasure and my burden too. 00:02:59.340 --> 00:03:00.720 align:middle line:90% I am all alone. 00:03:00.720 --> 00:03:03.360 align:middle line:84% And so I have turned to another like myself 00:03:03.360 --> 00:03:07.320 align:middle line:84% and find him happy to turn to me too. 00:03:07.320 --> 00:03:09.450 align:middle line:84% And now, I am growing up still more 00:03:09.450 --> 00:03:12.450 align:middle line:84% as we begin to differ on the games we should be playing 00:03:12.450 --> 00:03:14.790 align:middle line:84% or the places to visit on our bikes 00:03:14.790 --> 00:03:17.160 align:middle line:84% or the time to go home to dinner. 00:03:17.160 --> 00:03:19.890 align:middle line:84% I become lonely again and defensive. 00:03:19.890 --> 00:03:24.090 align:middle line:84% Myself, needing to be defended as the only absolute friend 00:03:24.090 --> 00:03:26.370 align:middle line:90% and sharer in myself. 00:03:26.370 --> 00:03:29.310 align:middle line:84% But I know that each of us feels the same as we 00:03:29.310 --> 00:03:33.000 align:middle line:84% exchange smiles often and talk together from time 00:03:33.000 --> 00:03:37.740 align:middle line:84% to time with gentleness, and kidding and wait 00:03:37.740 --> 00:03:43.580 align:middle line:84% for the voices of our parents to call us separately to dinner." 00:03:43.580 --> 00:03:44.392 align:middle line:90%