WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.605 align:middle line:90% This one is titled "The Diner". 00:00:01.605 --> 00:00:04.140 align:middle line:90% 00:00:04.140 --> 00:00:06.720 align:middle line:84% "If I order a sandwich and get a plate of ham and eggs, 00:00:06.720 --> 00:00:09.360 align:middle line:84% instead, has communication broken down? 00:00:09.360 --> 00:00:10.950 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:10.950 --> 00:00:12.660 align:middle line:90% 'Is there a chef in the house?' 00:00:12.660 --> 00:00:13.950 align:middle line:90% There is no chef. 00:00:13.950 --> 00:00:15.480 align:middle line:90% I get only silence. 00:00:15.480 --> 00:00:17.580 align:middle line:84% 'Who brought me the ham and eggs? 00:00:17.580 --> 00:00:20.250 align:middle line:84% I was where sitting at the counter when it arrived. 00:00:20.250 --> 00:00:22.470 align:middle line:84% I don't remember anyone bringing it. 00:00:22.470 --> 00:00:25.800 align:middle line:84% I'm leaving, right now, to find another place to eat in. 00:00:25.800 --> 00:00:28.170 align:middle line:84% A bit more congenial than this silence. 00:00:28.170 --> 00:00:31.410 align:middle line:84% With no one to witness that I ordered exactly what I say I 00:00:31.410 --> 00:00:32.490 align:middle line:90% did.' 00:00:32.490 --> 00:00:36.960 align:middle line:84% But now the door is closed and I can't leave. 00:00:36.960 --> 00:00:38.760 align:middle line:84% 'Will someone please open the door. 00:00:38.760 --> 00:00:42.120 align:middle line:84% The one who gave me the ham and eggs instead of a sandwich.' 00:00:42.120 --> 00:00:46.770 align:middle line:84% If I'm dissatisfied and want to leave, why must I stay? 00:00:46.770 --> 00:00:48.630 align:middle line:84% Can a proprietor do as he pleases 00:00:48.630 --> 00:00:50.670 align:middle line:90% with anyone on his property? 00:00:50.670 --> 00:00:52.470 align:middle line:90% Am I his property too? 00:00:52.470 --> 00:00:54.720 align:middle line:84% What do you know, I have to eat what's given to me 00:00:54.720 --> 00:00:55.650 align:middle line:90% or go hungry. 00:00:55.650 --> 00:00:57.390 align:middle line:84% I have to be nice about it too and say, 00:00:57.390 --> 00:00:59.880 align:middle line:90% thank you, to the silence. 00:00:59.880 --> 00:01:01.890 align:middle line:84% But I want to know why I can't have 00:01:01.890 --> 00:01:04.515 align:middle line:84% what I want at such an innocent wish is between a sandwich 00:01:04.515 --> 00:01:05.640 align:middle line:90% and a plate of ham and eggs 00:01:05.640 --> 00:01:06.450 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:06.450 --> 00:01:07.320 align:middle line:90% What have I said? 00:01:07.320 --> 00:01:08.790 align:middle line:84% Or did I say what I thought I did? 00:01:08.790 --> 00:01:11.265 align:middle line:84% Or am I in my own country where my own language is spoken? 00:01:11.265 --> 00:01:12.510 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:12.510 --> 00:01:14.250 align:middle line:90% Where am I? 00:01:14.250 --> 00:01:16.320 align:middle line:90% Why can't I leave this diner? 00:01:16.320 --> 00:01:18.450 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHS] This is not my country. 00:01:18.450 --> 00:01:20.070 align:middle line:90% I don't belong here. 00:01:20.070 --> 00:01:22.230 align:middle line:84% I never even got a passport to come. 00:01:22.230 --> 00:01:23.910 align:middle line:90% I don't remember leaving. 00:01:23.910 --> 00:01:25.830 align:middle line:84% I don't remember crossing the border. 00:01:25.830 --> 00:01:28.200 align:middle line:84% And I'm the only guy here at the counter. 00:01:28.200 --> 00:01:30.210 align:middle line:90% Something phoney is going on. 00:01:30.210 --> 00:01:33.300 align:middle line:84% Somebody is trying to drive me nuts, or rob me, or kill me. 00:01:33.300 --> 00:01:34.830 align:middle line:84% I want to go back where I came from. 00:01:34.830 --> 00:01:37.170 align:middle line:84% I was on the road hungry, driving, it was dark, 00:01:37.170 --> 00:01:38.490 align:middle line:90% and I hadn't eaten my dinner. 00:01:38.490 --> 00:01:40.980 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:40.980 --> 00:01:44.160 align:middle line:84% You know, it's quite possible I made these ham and eggs 00:01:44.160 --> 00:01:45.630 align:middle line:90% myself instead of a sandwich. 00:01:45.630 --> 00:01:48.245 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:48.245 --> 00:01:49.140 align:middle line:90% 00:01:49.140 --> 00:01:51.900 align:middle line:84% It may be I'm beyond because no one else is here 00:01:51.900 --> 00:01:54.840 align:middle line:84% and I have the key to open the door exactly like my car key. 00:01:54.840 --> 00:01:56.950 align:middle line:84% I must have arranged it that way. 00:01:56.950 --> 00:02:00.630 align:middle line:84% Now, when in hell did I buy this diner and who needs it?" 00:02:00.630 --> 00:02:02.079 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:02.079 --> 00:02:05.460 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:02:05.460 --> 00:02:13.690 align:middle line:90% 00:02:13.690 --> 00:02:16.120 align:middle line:90% That's existentialism for you. 00:02:16.120 --> 00:02:19.360 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:19.360 --> 00:02:22.510 align:middle line:84% Actually, it is a result of having read Sartre's, Being 00:02:22.510 --> 00:02:24.010 align:middle line:90% and Nothingness. 00:02:24.010 --> 00:02:27.580 align:middle line:84% A very lengthy book about that thick. 00:02:27.580 --> 00:02:29.770 align:middle line:84% So I was left only with my sense of humor finally. 00:02:29.770 --> 00:02:33.120 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:34.000 align:middle line:90%