"I can't believe you like a girl who doesn't like ramen,"
Kah is saying.
He's just come out of his bedroom in dry clothes
and is toweling his hair.
The trailer smells like dog.
Roscoe, because he was so wet, has been allowed in to get dry.
"Was this guy a good watch dog," Kah asked when he came home.
Roscoe and Dottie chow down on hamburgers
that got soaked through when Kah braved and then got
stuck in the flooded ravine.
"Really, Sarah, make it so good," Lin says.
Dripping wet, he's rummaging in the kitchen for a pan.
"Kah, he thinks it's spaghetti.
He smothers it in Kraft Parmesan.
Me, I know how to bring out the natural ramen flavors.
What you got to do--" I go into the bedroom and close the door.
After a bit, Lin comes in.
He pulls off his wet clothes and tosses them in the corner,
pulling on a pair of boxers.
"So you going to talk to me," he says.
The curtain over the bed flaps, the pillows getting wet.
He knee walks across the mattress, closes the window,
lies down, and I scoot closer to my side.
"You had to go for burgers," I say.
"I knew you were hungry.
I didn't see how we were going to get to the fair."
I reach over and turn off the bucking Bronco lamp,
because I can't stand to see this room.
Rain bullets the tin roof.
"Lin," I say, "Your brother's crazy."
"Well, that's a fact."
"He trapped me, his dogs did.
They scared me."
I feel his hand grope for mine, and he
says he's sorry, that they probably wouldn't hurt me.
But he's sorry all the same.
And I wonder how they came from the same family.
I think of the last time it rained like this.
Out of nowhere, a clear blue sky, a storm comes up.
We were hiking, and suddenly, he's
pulling me out of frothing mud.
I didn't even hear it, the flood.
And he's saying, "I don't want to lose you, Sarah.
I just found you."
Then we're on high ground, hail pelting us.
We laughed so hard, and then he's inside me,
so easy in summer shorts.
The best time I ever had.
I inch closer to him, feeling the warmth of him.
But it wasn't just the dogs.
I tell him about the phone.
He laughs.
"It wasn't funny."
"It just means he likes you."
I yank my hand away.
I hear him take a breath, hold it, then blow it out.
Suddenly, he crows, "Kaaah, kaah!"
"Shut the fuck up," Kah yells from the living room,
and Lin laughs again.
"Kah, he's a softie.
Did I ever tell you how he got his name?"
"I don't care how."
"Sure, you do."
He turns facing me.
His real name's Carl.
I blink, and blink, and try not to cry.
"We were kids playing assassin and spy right near here.
You play that when you were a kid?
It's time to go, and he's the big brother, you know.
He's responsible.
So he's calling me, and I'm right there in plain sight,
just lying on the bluff.
But I'm tan.
I'm bluff-colored.
Every time he calls my name, I go, Kaah, kaah."
"Shut the fuck up," Kah yells.
"It embarrasses him," Lin says.
"See, he thought he lost me."
Finally, he drops to his knees and just bawls.
"Really, he's a softie."
"Lin, I can't sleep here."
"We don't have a choice tonight."
"Tomorrow?
He's sitting in that chair, he can hear everything we do."
"He doesn't care what we do."
"Oh, God.
You don't even see it.
Every time I'm here, the way he looks at me
in the morning when we get up."
"Sarah, it's flooding.
We can't get out."
"He's a psycho!"
He moves away, flipping onto his back.
"He's my brother," he says, his voice gone hard.
And I think I will never enter this cracker box trailer again.
After a bit, he says, "You got to like him.
I got to stick it out here.
This is a good opportunity Kah is giving me.
I'm 25 years old.
I've got a GED.
Who else is going to give me a chance like this?
We could build our own house someday, you and me.
I mean, unless, you've just got to go to Afghanistan."
The trailer sways and seems to buck in this wind.
Why they decided to build here in the open, I can't fathom.
So he wants to build me a house.
Well, that's nice.
Creepy Looney Tunes music filters
through the wall, the volume down low.
Kah asks Roscoe if he's ready to go out.
His voice so clear, he could be in the room with us.
"There has got to be a better way," I think.
I will think of a better way.
"Dark in here," Lin says.
"Want to have some fun?"
"No."
"Nothing else to do in this podunk town."
"I am not touching that thing tonight."
"No?"
His toes pet my foot.
He says, "Kaah," very softly.
"What are you doing?"
"In case you come looking for me,
wanted you to know where I am."
"Very funny."
"Kaah--"
[APPLAUSE]