By a young poet, Tao Lin.
It's called "A Poem Written by a Bear,"
and it is, in my estimation, ridiculous.
"A Poem Written by a Bear."
"Let me go eat some salmon.
Why are there coke cans in the river?
What if I wore a bulletproof vest during hunting season?
I'm a bear.
I walk in the forest and look at the river,
and the river is cold.
I saw campers today, and they ran away, and I was alone.
And I destroyed their tent.
Let me go scratch my paw on a tree.
Let me go eat the salmon.
Last night I cried into my salmon.
The salmon was sad, but it still wanted to live.
It wanted to swim and be sad, and I ate it under moonlight.
I saw a moose scream the other day.
It screamed quietly under a tree.
I felt embarrassed and sad, and I thought, oh no, oh god, oh
my god.
Sometimes I climb a tree and sit there and sing very quietly.
Sometimes I want to go to a shopping mall
and chase the humans and claw them.
Ill ride the moose into the shopping mall
and ram the humans.
The moose and I will ride the escalator,
and I will hug the moose and the moose and I will cry.
I will eat the moose I don't care.
I will scream and throw the bubble gum
machine from the second floor to the first floor.
I felt compassion for the salmon,
and now, I don't care anymore.
I'll walk into the parking lot and chase a large human
and hug the human, and cry.
I'll walk into a house at night and push the humans
off the bed.
I'll stare at the bed, and I'll feel fake."
A poem by a bear.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]