I think I'll read one more really short tale called
"A Star Wars Tale."
When this story was first published
in an anthology of sort of essay homages
to the movie "Star Wars"--
thanks to the writer Lydia Millet who's in the room.
She knew that I had a "Star Wars" story--
the publishers of the book said that it
had to be presented as nonfiction
because otherwise, the "Star Wars" franchise would sue me
because you're not allowed to use the characters,
I guess unless it's recognizably fan fiction.
And they didn't think this looked like fan fiction
because there's certain beating, torture, and rape in it.
So it was originally published as nonfiction,
which makes it more disturbing than I intended it.
But this is called "A Star Wars Tale," and it's fiction.
"Once, there was a little girl and an older sister,
and they had this game they played.
And in the game, they played Princess Leia, and Darth Vader,
and Luke Skywalker.
The younger sister played Princess Leia,
and the older sister played Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker.
This all took place in the kitchen,
papered metallic silver with yellow flowers.
First, the sister who played Princess Leia
rolled her hair into balls on the sides of her head
and was locked in the pantry.
But as the pantry didn't lock, it
was pretend-locked by the other sister, who
at the time in the game with the locking
took place played Darth Vader.
The Darth Vader sister had a black plastic garbage
bag over her shoulders like a cape
and spoke with a raspy voice.
This Darth Vader sister would say,
you must be locked inside the soundproof room
because you were very, very bad, and you will never
ever get to see the handsome Luke Skywalker again.
And always, the Darth Vader sister
would threaten the princess player sister
with beating, rape, and other forms of torture.
While threatening Princess Leia, the Darth Vader sister
would sometimes close herself into the pantry
along with her sister.
She would stretch her arms imposingly across the door.
This was a cue for the Princess Leia sister
to throw her arms around the Darth Vader sister
and cling to her in thrilled terror.
Then the Darth Vader sister would tilt back her head
and cackle in the raspy voice.
She'd leave the pantry fake locking the door.
Back in the kitchen, she'd pretend
to pluck a yellow flower from the paper dolls
and stomp on its bloom.
Rasping, she'd cackle again.
Now, the sister playing Princess Leia
became terrified and screamed, help, help me, Luke.
And the sister who was playing Luke Skywalker, who had just
been playing Darth Vader, would quickly, quickly remove
the garbage bag caped from her shoulders
and put on a white shirt of the father's
which the mother used for baking and say
in a voice full of passion, Princess Leia.
But because the pantry was sealed off and sound--
being soundproof, Princess Leia couldn't hear Luke Skywalker
even though Luke Skywalker, out in the kitchen
could hear Princess Leia calling for him, help, help me, Luke.
Princess Leia sobbed again and again.
yet Luke Skywalker abjectly only could listen.
Pacing the kitchen, Luke would wave his arms
in their long white sleeves to the rhythm of Leia's cries.
That he could hear her at all was an auditory curiosity,
a miracle of sorts, a fatal glitch Darth Vader
had not predicted when he locked the princess in the soundproof
room.
At this very moment in the crisis, each and every time
the game was played, Luke could hear Leia crying for help
from inside the pantry.
In fact, the game hinged on his hearing her.
How else would he know to save her from rape, beating,
and other forms of torture.
Yet as Princess Leia could not hear Luke
from inside the pantry telling her how he would save her,
Luke Skywalker would make tapes for her
to listen to on a cassette recorder.
He would speak into the microphone
as he paced around the silver kitchen,
professing his deep in unfathomable love for you
Princess Leia, my only sister, I mean
lover, who is locked away forever
and can never hear my voice again, and might be beaten,
raped, or tortured.
He would then rewind to the beginning of his message
and open the door to the soundproof room,
hand Princess Leia the cassette recorder,
slammed the door shut again hard.
The Luke Skywalker sister often forgot
whether to be tender or mean having to juggle so many roles.
Princess Leia, clutching the machine to her chest,
would hit play, listen to his message,
and then record one of her own.
She whispered close to the machine, Luke Skywalker,
I love you with all my heart.
You are my one and only lover, and I
will love you for all of time even from inside the soundproof
room in which the wicked Darth Vader has locked me
for all time and where I'll be, where
I will be punished again and again
in so many unspeakable ways.
She would attach a yellow flower from the wallpaper
to her message, placing the flower
on the recorder with care.
After rewinding meticulously to the beginning of her message,
Princess Leia would open the door
and hand the recorder to Luke.
Sniffing the flower with great fervor,
the young Luke would cry.
So it continued along, back and forth,
Luke and Leia would pass the recorder
and profess their love with only the occasional interruption
by a garbage bagged Darth and his threats of beating
and rape.
And though it made the sisters glow, no one ever got saved."
Thank you.
[APPLAUSE]