WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.780 align:middle line:90%


00:00:00.780 --> 00:00:05.760 align:middle line:84%
I think I'll read one more
really short tale called

00:00:05.760 --> 00:00:08.960 align:middle line:90%
"A Star Wars Tale."

00:00:08.960 --> 00:00:12.200 align:middle line:84%
When this story
was first published

00:00:12.200 --> 00:00:15.830 align:middle line:84%
in an anthology of
sort of essay homages

00:00:15.830 --> 00:00:18.500 align:middle line:90%
to the movie "Star Wars"--

00:00:18.500 --> 00:00:21.440 align:middle line:84%
thanks to the writer Lydia
Millet who's in the room.

00:00:21.440 --> 00:00:23.360 align:middle line:84%
She knew that I had
a "Star Wars" story--

00:00:23.360 --> 00:00:26.630 align:middle line:84%
the publishers of
the book said that it

00:00:26.630 --> 00:00:29.720 align:middle line:84%
had to be presented
as nonfiction

00:00:29.720 --> 00:00:33.198 align:middle line:84%
because otherwise, the "Star
Wars" franchise would sue me

00:00:33.198 --> 00:00:35.240 align:middle line:84%
because you're not allowed
to use the characters,

00:00:35.240 --> 00:00:39.950 align:middle line:84%
I guess unless it's
recognizably fan fiction.

00:00:39.950 --> 00:00:43.550 align:middle line:84%
And they didn't think this
looked like fan fiction

00:00:43.550 --> 00:00:46.680 align:middle line:84%
because there's certain beating,
torture, and rape in it.

00:00:46.680 --> 00:00:50.970 align:middle line:84%
So it was originally
published as nonfiction,

00:00:50.970 --> 00:00:55.320 align:middle line:84%
which makes it more
disturbing than I intended it.

00:00:55.320 --> 00:01:00.440 align:middle line:84%
But this is called "A Star
Wars Tale," and it's fiction.

00:01:00.440 --> 00:01:03.020 align:middle line:84%
"Once, there was a little
girl and an older sister,

00:01:03.020 --> 00:01:04.550 align:middle line:84%
and they had this
game they played.

00:01:04.550 --> 00:01:07.610 align:middle line:84%
And in the game, they played
Princess Leia, and Darth Vader,

00:01:07.610 --> 00:01:09.440 align:middle line:90%
and Luke Skywalker.

00:01:09.440 --> 00:01:11.480 align:middle line:84%
The younger sister
played Princess Leia,

00:01:11.480 --> 00:01:15.290 align:middle line:84%
and the older sister played
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker.

00:01:15.290 --> 00:01:16.790 align:middle line:84%
This all took place
in the kitchen,

00:01:16.790 --> 00:01:20.440 align:middle line:84%
papered metallic silver
with yellow flowers.

00:01:20.440 --> 00:01:22.270 align:middle line:84%
First, the sister who
played Princess Leia

00:01:22.270 --> 00:01:24.670 align:middle line:84%
rolled her hair into balls
on the sides of her head

00:01:24.670 --> 00:01:26.500 align:middle line:90%
and was locked in the pantry.

00:01:26.500 --> 00:01:28.030 align:middle line:84%
But as the pantry
didn't lock, it

00:01:28.030 --> 00:01:30.563 align:middle line:84%
was pretend-locked by
the other sister, who

00:01:30.563 --> 00:01:32.230 align:middle line:84%
at the time in the
game with the locking

00:01:32.230 --> 00:01:34.960 align:middle line:90%
took place played Darth Vader.

00:01:34.960 --> 00:01:38.020 align:middle line:84%
The Darth Vader sister had
a black plastic garbage

00:01:38.020 --> 00:01:39.610 align:middle line:84%
bag over her
shoulders like a cape

00:01:39.610 --> 00:01:41.530 align:middle line:90%
and spoke with a raspy voice.

00:01:41.530 --> 00:01:43.720 align:middle line:84%
This Darth Vader
sister would say,

00:01:43.720 --> 00:01:45.850 align:middle line:84%
you must be locked inside
the soundproof room

00:01:45.850 --> 00:01:48.010 align:middle line:84%
because you were very, very
bad, and you will never

00:01:48.010 --> 00:01:51.490 align:middle line:84%
ever get to see the handsome
Luke Skywalker again.

00:01:51.490 --> 00:01:53.050 align:middle line:84%
And always, the
Darth Vader sister

00:01:53.050 --> 00:01:55.270 align:middle line:84%
would threaten the
princess player sister

00:01:55.270 --> 00:01:59.170 align:middle line:84%
with beating, rape, and
other forms of torture.

00:01:59.170 --> 00:02:01.870 align:middle line:84%
While threatening Princess
Leia, the Darth Vader sister

00:02:01.870 --> 00:02:04.090 align:middle line:84%
would sometimes close
herself into the pantry

00:02:04.090 --> 00:02:05.740 align:middle line:90%
along with her sister.

00:02:05.740 --> 00:02:09.380 align:middle line:84%
She would stretch her arms
imposingly across the door.

00:02:09.380 --> 00:02:11.770 align:middle line:84%
This was a cue for the
Princess Leia sister

00:02:11.770 --> 00:02:14.260 align:middle line:84%
to throw her arms around
the Darth Vader sister

00:02:14.260 --> 00:02:17.230 align:middle line:84%
and cling to her
in thrilled terror.

00:02:17.230 --> 00:02:19.750 align:middle line:84%
Then the Darth Vader sister
would tilt back her head

00:02:19.750 --> 00:02:22.000 align:middle line:90%
and cackle in the raspy voice.

00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:25.300 align:middle line:84%
She'd leave the pantry
fake locking the door.

00:02:25.300 --> 00:02:27.340 align:middle line:84%
Back in the kitchen,
she'd pretend

00:02:27.340 --> 00:02:29.690 align:middle line:84%
to pluck a yellow flower
from the paper dolls

00:02:29.690 --> 00:02:31.600 align:middle line:90%
and stomp on its bloom.

00:02:31.600 --> 00:02:34.710 align:middle line:90%
Rasping, she'd cackle again.

00:02:34.710 --> 00:02:36.690 align:middle line:84%
Now, the sister
playing Princess Leia

00:02:36.690 --> 00:02:40.020 align:middle line:84%
became terrified and
screamed, help, help me, Luke.

00:02:40.020 --> 00:02:42.900 align:middle line:84%
And the sister who was playing
Luke Skywalker, who had just

00:02:42.900 --> 00:02:46.380 align:middle line:84%
been playing Darth Vader,
would quickly, quickly remove

00:02:46.380 --> 00:02:48.990 align:middle line:84%
the garbage bag caped
from her shoulders

00:02:48.990 --> 00:02:50.940 align:middle line:84%
and put on a white
shirt of the father's

00:02:50.940 --> 00:02:53.730 align:middle line:84%
which the mother used
for baking and say

00:02:53.730 --> 00:02:57.900 align:middle line:84%
in a voice full of
passion, Princess Leia.

00:02:57.900 --> 00:03:00.780 align:middle line:84%
But because the pantry
was sealed off and sound--

00:03:00.780 --> 00:03:04.353 align:middle line:84%
being soundproof, Princess Leia
couldn't hear Luke Skywalker

00:03:04.353 --> 00:03:06.270 align:middle line:84%
even though Luke Skywalker,
out in the kitchen

00:03:06.270 --> 00:03:09.630 align:middle line:84%
could hear Princess Leia calling
for him, help, help me, Luke.

00:03:09.630 --> 00:03:12.750 align:middle line:84%
Princess Leia sobbed
again and again.

00:03:12.750 --> 00:03:18.330 align:middle line:84%
yet Luke Skywalker
abjectly only could listen.

00:03:18.330 --> 00:03:20.970 align:middle line:84%
Pacing the kitchen,
Luke would wave his arms

00:03:20.970 --> 00:03:24.840 align:middle line:84%
in their long white sleeves
to the rhythm of Leia's cries.

00:03:24.840 --> 00:03:28.410 align:middle line:84%
That he could hear her at all
was an auditory curiosity,

00:03:28.410 --> 00:03:32.010 align:middle line:84%
a miracle of sorts, a
fatal glitch Darth Vader

00:03:32.010 --> 00:03:35.340 align:middle line:84%
had not predicted when he locked
the princess in the soundproof

00:03:35.340 --> 00:03:36.570 align:middle line:90%
room.

00:03:36.570 --> 00:03:39.780 align:middle line:84%
At this very moment in the
crisis, each and every time

00:03:39.780 --> 00:03:43.050 align:middle line:84%
the game was played, Luke
could hear Leia crying for help

00:03:43.050 --> 00:03:45.120 align:middle line:90%
from inside the pantry.

00:03:45.120 --> 00:03:48.390 align:middle line:84%
In fact, the game hinged
on his hearing her.

00:03:48.390 --> 00:03:51.510 align:middle line:84%
How else would he know to
save her from rape, beating,

00:03:51.510 --> 00:03:53.970 align:middle line:90%
and other forms of torture.

00:03:53.970 --> 00:03:56.070 align:middle line:84%
Yet as Princess Leia
could not hear Luke

00:03:56.070 --> 00:04:00.270 align:middle line:84%
from inside the pantry telling
her how he would save her,

00:04:00.270 --> 00:04:02.640 align:middle line:84%
Luke Skywalker would
make tapes for her

00:04:02.640 --> 00:04:05.873 align:middle line:84%
to listen to on a
cassette recorder.

00:04:05.873 --> 00:04:07.290 align:middle line:84%
He would speak
into the microphone

00:04:07.290 --> 00:04:08.910 align:middle line:84%
as he paced around
the silver kitchen,

00:04:08.910 --> 00:04:12.030 align:middle line:84%
professing his deep in
unfathomable love for you

00:04:12.030 --> 00:04:14.670 align:middle line:84%
Princess Leia, my
only sister, I mean

00:04:14.670 --> 00:04:16.908 align:middle line:84%
lover, who is
locked away forever

00:04:16.908 --> 00:04:19.200 align:middle line:84%
and can never hear my voice
again, and might be beaten,

00:04:19.200 --> 00:04:20.760 align:middle line:90%
raped, or tortured.

00:04:20.760 --> 00:04:23.040 align:middle line:84%
He would then rewind to the
beginning of his message

00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:25.380 align:middle line:84%
and open the door to
the soundproof room,

00:04:25.380 --> 00:04:28.230 align:middle line:84%
hand Princess Leia
the cassette recorder,

00:04:28.230 --> 00:04:31.410 align:middle line:84%
slammed the door
shut again hard.

00:04:31.410 --> 00:04:33.480 align:middle line:84%
The Luke Skywalker
sister often forgot

00:04:33.480 --> 00:04:38.190 align:middle line:84%
whether to be tender or mean
having to juggle so many roles.

00:04:38.190 --> 00:04:40.530 align:middle line:84%
Princess Leia, clutching
the machine to her chest,

00:04:40.530 --> 00:04:43.290 align:middle line:84%
would hit play,
listen to his message,

00:04:43.290 --> 00:04:44.880 align:middle line:90%
and then record one of her own.

00:04:44.880 --> 00:04:48.450 align:middle line:84%
She whispered close to the
machine, Luke Skywalker,

00:04:48.450 --> 00:04:50.640 align:middle line:90%
I love you with all my heart.

00:04:50.640 --> 00:04:52.710 align:middle line:84%
You are my one and
only lover, and I

00:04:52.710 --> 00:04:55.697 align:middle line:84%
will love you for all of time
even from inside the soundproof

00:04:55.697 --> 00:04:57.780 align:middle line:84%
room in which the wicked
Darth Vader has locked me

00:04:57.780 --> 00:05:00.000 align:middle line:84%
for all time and
where I'll be, where

00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:01.920 align:middle line:84%
I will be punished
again and again

00:05:01.920 --> 00:05:04.295 align:middle line:90%
in so many unspeakable ways.

00:05:04.295 --> 00:05:06.420 align:middle line:84%
She would attach a yellow
flower from the wallpaper

00:05:06.420 --> 00:05:08.520 align:middle line:84%
to her message,
placing the flower

00:05:08.520 --> 00:05:11.120 align:middle line:90%
on the recorder with care.

00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:14.750 align:middle line:84%
After rewinding meticulously to
the beginning of her message,

00:05:14.750 --> 00:05:16.550 align:middle line:84%
Princess Leia
would open the door

00:05:16.550 --> 00:05:19.400 align:middle line:90%
and hand the recorder to Luke.

00:05:19.400 --> 00:05:22.010 align:middle line:84%
Sniffing the flower
with great fervor,

00:05:22.010 --> 00:05:24.470 align:middle line:90%
the young Luke would cry.

00:05:24.470 --> 00:05:27.430 align:middle line:84%
So it continued
along, back and forth,

00:05:27.430 --> 00:05:29.890 align:middle line:84%
Luke and Leia would
pass the recorder

00:05:29.890 --> 00:05:33.040 align:middle line:84%
and profess their love with
only the occasional interruption

00:05:33.040 --> 00:05:36.160 align:middle line:84%
by a garbage bagged Darth
and his threats of beating

00:05:36.160 --> 00:05:37.540 align:middle line:90%
and rape.

00:05:37.540 --> 00:05:42.650 align:middle line:84%
And though it made the sisters
glow, no one ever got saved."

00:05:42.650 --> 00:05:43.210 align:middle line:90%
Thank you.

00:05:43.210 --> 00:05:46.560 align:middle line:90%
[APPLAUSE]

00:05:46.560 --> 00:05:55.000 align:middle line:90%