WEBVTT

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This pornographic piece
is entitled, "Thumbs Up."

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And the epigraph to it
is from Shakespeare.

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I have to prove that it
has, what's the term,

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redeeming literary value.

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The epigraph is, get
you to a nunnery.

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Let's see if I can
find the notes.

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Thumbs up.

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I really should have
a costume for this.

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You need a long, dark coat.

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I had to pull down
over your eyes

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in a large pair of sunglasses
in a seedy expression.

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So you'll have to imagine that,
I'll have to get my voice.

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"Thumbs Up."

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[LAUGHTER]

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An an unfinished pornography.

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Zip, zip, the cars
went zipping by

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and the bunny, it seemed
the very hand of our Father

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had withdrawn the last blessing
that of love and consolation

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from one's neighbor
from her svelte form.

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Like Job, she stood upon
the highway, like Ahab,

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faced a departure and
yet it seemed there was

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to be no going forth from sin.

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It was with reluctance,
but also relief

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that she felt her left hand
slipping under her skirt

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and inching upward along
her long tense thigh,

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already her pubic hairs beaded
with the ever more thickening

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droplets of desire.

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Her finger-- now she began
to drool as her fingernails

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found the pert little clitoris
that nudged like a moles

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nose, her fingers.

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Ahhh, she said.

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[LAUGHTER]

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Ahh, ahh, ahh.

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And a great roaring
filled her ears.

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But ever her tense
right thumb pointed East

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and now the cars began to
slow and park around her.

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Ahh, she cried shaking
her tawny blond head.

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Oh, Oh, cried the motorists.

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Each from the middle class
safety of his vehicle.

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She imagined the fat
hands of salesmen

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digging into their
woolly trousers

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and emerging with great cocks
like pistols in their palms.

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Huh.

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The sky was becoming
dark with semen,

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great fountains shooting from
the windows of Nash's, shooting

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from the windows of
Nash's and Studebakers.

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And the steady,
and the steady drip

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from the inner roofs of cars.

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Should I be speak more of this
scene which tells not of sin

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but the Holy energy of young
life throbbing and beating

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to find salvation.

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Her faithful friend, and I quote
here, "The more I see of men,

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the more I think of dogs."

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Albert Payson Terhune.

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Her faithful friend,
Pompa the collie--

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[LAUGHTER]

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pushed his cold nose
deep into her rectum.

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Even at the moment
of consummation

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an act not of charity but love.

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Like alongside the after
dinner expansion of air

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eased itself from her innards
made the 20 mile journey

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through the intestinal
tract and emerged bathing

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the colleague's
face into limpidity.

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[LAUGHTER]

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For Pompa, this
was reward enough.

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But men, but men are
not so easily pleased.

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And the motors came
forth from their cars

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carrying their good
time Charlies like ears

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of corn in their hands.

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Her head cleared and
she saw them advance.

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So again, it was to be the
tribulation of the gang bang.

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Pompa rubbed his tiny paws
against his chest and spat

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noisily into the air.

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Her eyes followed
that arc of mucus,

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a high loft like the
four weirdest of passes

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over the heads of the multitude
until it descended and came

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to rest and the cap of one
who smiled not in desire

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but in good fellowship.

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He was a young man of middling
mental capacity, she noted.

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Even as the first hands
began to pull up her sweater,

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not unlike her lost, lost
clod, and she thought again

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of that unfortunate
boy who she had

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been surprised to
find in the ladies

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room of the Polynesian village.

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His prick jammed
into a water faucet.

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[LAUGHTER]

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They had had to
remove the plumbing.

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Surely not the prick.

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And she chuckled almost
loudly at that thought

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and thought briefly
of what her father

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would have thought
if he had thought

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she was thinking this now.

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And she still remembered that
first, first night, the feel

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of the spigot deep within her.

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Not unlike Claude, and was he to
be her savior, this swarthy boy

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chick who sat upon
his motorcycle

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even now rubbing it up
as someone whispered,

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"Got a cookie for a lookie
at your nookie, Tina,"

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into her dripping ear.

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Then at the last
moment, she heard

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a roar and the
clod like young man

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was upon her, lifting her
roaring through the assemblage

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in a way.

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At the first stoplight, the
begoggled youth affectionately

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patted all 600 horsepower
of the machine beneath him

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'Tis my hog, a
boy's best friend,

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he yodelled over his shoulder.

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But bunny's drooping ears
barely encupped this revelation.

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She felt the cool leather
seat between her thighs.

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And as her head nodded into
the blessedness of rest,

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she saw the raised lettering
on her benefactor's jacket

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back, Hickory Dick,
and then to sleep.

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The circumstances of that was--

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[APPLAUSE]

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some friends and I who had
some pretensions about, writer,

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Ste--

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no Steve was gone by then.

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He graduated a year before the
rest of us slower students.

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We decided we wanted to write
a novel just for the fun of it

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and the only thing worth
writing was a pornographic novel

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that we thought we'd
keep our interest up in.

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But what happened was
everybody got married instead.

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So never developed.

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A couple of people
wrote a chapter.

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