WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.900 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.900 --> 00:00:05.620 align:middle line:90% And still happy hour. 00:00:05.620 --> 00:00:07.180 align:middle line:84% This is called "Storm Catechism." 00:00:07.180 --> 00:00:08.320 align:middle line:90% I was raised Catholic. 00:00:08.320 --> 00:00:12.955 align:middle line:84% And so we had something called the Baltimore Catechism. 00:00:12.955 --> 00:00:15.790 align:middle line:84% It was great because all the hard questions of life 00:00:15.790 --> 00:00:17.350 align:middle line:90% were answered. 00:00:17.350 --> 00:00:18.700 align:middle line:90% Who made man? 00:00:18.700 --> 00:00:20.170 align:middle line:90% God made man. 00:00:20.170 --> 00:00:21.670 align:middle line:90% Why did God make man? 00:00:21.670 --> 00:00:23.230 align:middle line:90% To love, honor, and serve Him. 00:00:23.230 --> 00:00:25.630 align:middle line:84% You know, so everything was sort of handled, 00:00:25.630 --> 00:00:28.480 align:middle line:90% which was nice for a while. 00:00:28.480 --> 00:00:31.210 align:middle line:84% So this is called "Storm Catechism." 00:00:31.210 --> 00:00:33.850 align:middle line:84% And it's a poem that asks some questions 00:00:33.850 --> 00:00:36.350 align:middle line:90% and attempts to answer them. 00:00:36.350 --> 00:00:38.830 align:middle line:84% And it's about the gods, but you could easily 00:00:38.830 --> 00:00:43.405 align:middle line:84% substitute politicians, and-- you know, same deal. 00:00:43.405 --> 00:00:45.760 align:middle line:90% "Storm Catechism." 00:00:45.760 --> 00:00:48.700 align:middle line:84% The gods are rinsing their just-boiled pasta 00:00:48.700 --> 00:00:51.700 align:middle line:84% in a colander, which is why it is humid 00:00:51.700 --> 00:00:54.820 align:middle line:84% and fitfully raining down here in the steel 00:00:54.820 --> 00:00:56.980 align:middle line:90% sink of mortal life. 00:00:56.980 --> 00:00:59.650 align:middle line:84% Sometimes, you can smell the truffle oil 00:00:59.650 --> 00:01:02.260 align:middle line:84% and hear the ambrosia being knocked back. 00:01:02.260 --> 00:01:04.599 align:middle line:84% Sometimes, you catch a drift of laughter 00:01:04.599 --> 00:01:06.190 align:middle line:90% in that thunder crack-- 00:01:06.190 --> 00:01:10.910 align:middle line:84% Zeus knocking over his glass, spilling lightning into a tree. 00:01:10.910 --> 00:01:14.270 align:middle line:84% The tree shears away from itself and falls on a car, 00:01:14.270 --> 00:01:16.300 align:middle line:90% killing a high school girl. 00:01:16.300 --> 00:01:19.120 align:middle line:84% Or maybe it just crashes down on a few trash 00:01:19.120 --> 00:01:21.520 align:middle line:84% cans, and the next day, gets cut up 00:01:21.520 --> 00:01:23.320 align:middle line:90% and hauled away by the city-- 00:01:23.320 --> 00:01:25.270 align:middle line:90% either way, hilarity. 00:01:25.270 --> 00:01:28.180 align:middle line:84% The gods are infinitely perfect, as is 00:01:28.180 --> 00:01:30.640 align:middle line:90% their divine mac and cheese. 00:01:30.640 --> 00:01:33.140 align:middle line:90% Where does macaroni come from? 00:01:33.140 --> 00:01:34.810 align:middle line:90% Where does matter? 00:01:34.810 --> 00:01:37.240 align:middle line:84% Why does the cat act autistic when 00:01:37.240 --> 00:01:41.980 align:middle line:84% you call her, then bat around a moth for an hour, 00:01:41.980 --> 00:01:46.300 align:middle line:84% watching intently as it drags its wings over the area rug? 00:01:46.300 --> 00:01:48.760 align:middle line:84% The gods were here first, and they're bigger. 00:01:48.760 --> 00:01:51.940 align:middle line:84% They always were, and always will be living it 00:01:51.940 --> 00:01:53.830 align:middle line:90% up in their father's mansion. 00:01:53.830 --> 00:01:57.340 align:middle line:84% You only crawled from the drain a few millennia ago 00:01:57.340 --> 00:02:00.670 align:middle line:84% after inventing legs for yourself so you could stand, 00:02:00.670 --> 00:02:03.730 align:middle line:84% inventing fists in order to raise them and curse 00:02:03.730 --> 00:02:04.990 align:middle line:90% the heavens. 00:02:04.990 --> 00:02:06.700 align:middle line:90% Do the gods see us? 00:02:06.700 --> 00:02:09.190 align:middle line:90% Will the waters be rising soon? 00:02:09.190 --> 00:02:11.320 align:middle line:90% The waters will be rising soon. 00:02:11.320 --> 00:02:15.180 align:middle line:84% Find someone or something to cling to. 00:02:15.180 --> 00:02:18.000 align:middle line:90%