WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.145 align:middle line:90%


00:00:01.145 --> 00:00:02.770 align:middle line:84%
And I'm going to turn
to this new book,

00:00:02.770 --> 00:00:07.420 align:middle line:84%
Lucifer at the Starlite, and
that's L-I-T-E as in Starlite

00:00:07.420 --> 00:00:09.010 align:middle line:90%
Lounge.

00:00:09.010 --> 00:00:10.600 align:middle line:84%
So, the book's
sort of structured

00:00:10.600 --> 00:00:13.660 align:middle line:90%
as Satan walks into a bar.

00:00:13.660 --> 00:00:18.370 align:middle line:84%
And so it's broken up sort of
into sections that recreate

00:00:18.370 --> 00:00:19.190 align:middle line:90%
a night at the bar.

00:00:19.190 --> 00:00:21.220 align:middle line:84%
So, the first one
is "Happy Hour."

00:00:21.220 --> 00:00:22.840 align:middle line:90%
Second one is "Jukebox."

00:00:22.840 --> 00:00:25.520 align:middle line:84%
The third is "Dance Floor"
and the fourth section

00:00:25.520 --> 00:00:29.770 align:middle line:84%
and last section is "I'm Going
To Have To Take Your Keys."

00:00:29.770 --> 00:00:34.930 align:middle line:84%
So, I thought, well what would
happy hour be for Lucifer?

00:00:34.930 --> 00:00:38.308 align:middle line:84%
And it would be all the
things that are going on

00:00:38.308 --> 00:00:39.100 align:middle line:90%
on the world stage.

00:00:39.100 --> 00:00:43.060 align:middle line:90%


00:00:43.060 --> 00:00:46.670 align:middle line:90%
Yeah, I shouldn't talk too much.

00:00:46.670 --> 00:00:47.670 align:middle line:90%
We don't have much time.

00:00:47.670 --> 00:00:49.320 align:middle line:84%
Oh, and I forgot to
start the stopwatch

00:00:49.320 --> 00:00:50.580 align:middle line:90%
so I'm really fucked now.

00:00:50.580 --> 00:00:53.160 align:middle line:90%
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

00:00:53.160 --> 00:00:54.480 align:middle line:90%
All right, well, all right.

00:00:54.480 --> 00:00:55.660 align:middle line:90%
I'll just read them.

00:00:55.660 --> 00:00:57.990 align:middle line:84%
This is called
"November 11th 2004"

00:00:57.990 --> 00:01:00.090 align:middle line:84%
and it's got a lot
of exclamation points

00:01:00.090 --> 00:01:02.490 align:middle line:84%
at the end of it
that you will hear.

00:01:02.490 --> 00:01:06.180 align:middle line:84%
"Oh, everyone's dead and
the rain today is marvelous.

00:01:06.180 --> 00:01:07.800 align:middle line:90%
I drive to the gym.

00:01:07.800 --> 00:01:09.270 align:middle line:90%
The streets are slick.

00:01:09.270 --> 00:01:11.310 align:middle line:90%
Everyone's using their wipers.

00:01:11.310 --> 00:01:14.400 align:middle line:84%
People are walking with their
shoulders hunched wearing

00:01:14.400 --> 00:01:16.380 align:middle line:90%
hoods or holding up umbrellas.

00:01:16.380 --> 00:01:19.080 align:middle line:84%
Of course, of course,
it's all to be expected.

00:01:19.080 --> 00:01:20.730 align:middle line:90%
Fantastic!

00:01:20.730 --> 00:01:24.270 align:middle line:84%
My mother's friend, Annie,
her funeral's today!

00:01:24.270 --> 00:01:28.110 align:middle line:84%
The writer, Iris Chang,
she just shot herself!

00:01:28.110 --> 00:01:30.780 align:middle line:90%
And Arafat, he's dead too!

00:01:30.780 --> 00:01:33.700 align:middle line:84%
The doctors refused to
say what killed him.

00:01:33.700 --> 00:01:37.200 align:middle line:84%
His wife is fighting with the
Palestinians over his millions.

00:01:37.200 --> 00:01:40.770 align:middle line:84%
The parking lot of the gym
is filled with muddy puddles!

00:01:40.770 --> 00:01:44.130 align:middle line:84%
I run 4.3 miles per
hour on the treadmill

00:01:44.130 --> 00:01:47.490 align:middle line:84%
and they're dead in Baghdad
and Fallujah, Mosul,

00:01:47.490 --> 00:01:52.410 align:middle line:84%
and Samarra and Latifiya,
Nadia and Surayah, Nahla

00:01:52.410 --> 00:01:53.940 align:middle line:90%
and Hoda and Noor.

00:01:53.940 --> 00:01:56.700 align:middle line:84%
Their husbands and
cousins and brothers

00:01:56.700 --> 00:01:58.290 align:middle line:90%
dead in their own neighborhoods!

00:01:58.290 --> 00:01:59.880 align:middle line:90%
Imagine!

00:01:59.880 --> 00:02:04.410 align:middle line:84%
Marine Staff Sergeant, David G.
Reese, 29, Clark, Washington,

00:02:04.410 --> 00:02:05.370 align:middle line:90%
killed!

00:02:05.370 --> 00:02:10.470 align:middle line:84%
Army specialist Quoc Binh Tran,
26, Mission Viejo, California,

00:02:10.470 --> 00:02:11.250 align:middle line:90%
killed.

00:02:11.250 --> 00:02:15.150 align:middle line:84%
Army specialist, Brian L.
Freeman, 31, Lumberton,

00:02:15.150 --> 00:02:17.550 align:middle line:90%
New Jersey, same deal!

00:02:17.550 --> 00:02:20.850 align:middle line:84%
Marine Lance Corporal,
Jeffrey Lauren, 22, New York,

00:02:20.850 --> 00:02:22.230 align:middle line:90%
you guessed it!

00:02:22.230 --> 00:02:25.410 align:middle line:84%
Oh, I could go on and on
for as long as I live!

00:02:25.410 --> 00:02:28.500 align:middle line:84%
In Africa too they've
been starved and macheted.

00:02:28.500 --> 00:02:32.280 align:middle line:84%
The morning paper said the
Serbs apologized for Srebrenica.

00:02:32.280 --> 00:02:36.510 align:middle line:90%
7,800 Muslims murdered in 1995.

00:02:36.510 --> 00:02:40.390 align:middle line:84%
I know it's old news but
hey, they're still dead!

00:02:40.390 --> 00:02:42.730 align:middle line:84%
I almost forgot my
neighbor's niece.

00:02:42.730 --> 00:02:45.670 align:middle line:84%
16 and puking in
Kaiser Emergency.

00:02:45.670 --> 00:02:48.520 align:middle line:84%
The cause a big mystery
until the autopsy.

00:02:48.520 --> 00:02:50.560 align:middle line:84%
Toxic shock syndrome,
of all things.

00:02:50.560 --> 00:02:52.510 align:middle line:84%
I thought that was
history too, but I

00:02:52.510 --> 00:02:53.950 align:middle line:90%
guess girls are still dying.

00:02:53.950 --> 00:02:55.240 align:middle line:90%
Who knew!

00:02:55.240 --> 00:02:57.040 align:middle line:90%
I run for two miles.

00:02:57.040 --> 00:02:59.530 align:middle line:90%
My knees hurt and my shins.

00:02:59.530 --> 00:03:02.350 align:middle line:84%
I step off and
stretch for a bit.

00:03:02.350 --> 00:03:04.720 align:middle line:90%
I go back outside into the rain.

00:03:04.720 --> 00:03:06.730 align:middle line:90%
It feels chilly and good.

00:03:06.730 --> 00:03:10.210 align:middle line:84%
It goes on all day,
unending and glorious.

00:03:10.210 --> 00:03:12.670 align:middle line:84%
Falling and filling
the roof gutters,

00:03:12.670 --> 00:03:15.600 align:middle line:90%
flooding the low lying roads."

00:03:15.600 --> 00:03:17.000 align:middle line:90%