WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:12.740 align:middle line:90%


00:00:12.740 --> 00:00:14.045 align:middle line:90%
This is called "This Morning."

00:00:14.045 --> 00:00:19.810 align:middle line:90%


00:00:19.810 --> 00:00:24.610 align:middle line:84%
This morning, I woke to the
screech of the recycling

00:00:24.610 --> 00:00:27.760 align:middle line:90%
truck on the next street.

00:00:27.760 --> 00:00:32.650 align:middle line:84%
It was only after 7:00, and
they were already tearing

00:00:32.650 --> 00:00:34.120 align:middle line:90%
through the neighborhood.

00:00:34.120 --> 00:00:39.700 align:middle line:84%
Brakes and motor keeping rhythm
with shattering glass, clinking

00:00:39.700 --> 00:00:45.400 align:middle line:84%
cans, and thuds of
cardboard, and barking dogs.

00:00:45.400 --> 00:00:49.570 align:middle line:84%
I panicked, then
remembered the bin was out.

00:00:49.570 --> 00:00:54.460 align:middle line:84%
The dogs shot out of the room,
their little bodies quivering

00:00:54.460 --> 00:00:58.570 align:middle line:84%
with excitement and
pent-up barking.

00:00:58.570 --> 00:01:03.130 align:middle line:84%
Before this moment, I had
been dreaming of my mother.

00:01:03.130 --> 00:01:07.060 align:middle line:84%
In my dream, she slept
under a calico quilt

00:01:07.060 --> 00:01:11.530 align:middle line:84%
of tiny purple and
yellow flowers.

00:01:11.530 --> 00:01:15.670 align:middle line:84%
She made our clothes
from such fabric.

00:01:15.670 --> 00:01:20.920 align:middle line:84%
I covered her carefully and
patted her sleeping shoulder.

00:01:20.920 --> 00:01:24.400 align:middle line:84%
Her breathing was
soft and labored.

00:01:24.400 --> 00:01:29.740 align:middle line:84%
I could only smooth her hair
and caress her forehead.

00:01:29.740 --> 00:01:34.960 align:middle line:84%
I sat at the foot of the bed
and listened to her sleep.

00:01:34.960 --> 00:01:40.030 align:middle line:84%
Her breathing and the dream
filament settled around us.

00:01:40.030 --> 00:01:46.420 align:middle line:84%
Maybe she revisited the old Fort
Wingate Boarding School days.

00:01:46.420 --> 00:01:49.690 align:middle line:84%
Or maybe she and
my father converse

00:01:49.690 --> 00:01:53.230 align:middle line:90%
as in all those years past.

00:01:53.230 --> 00:01:58.240 align:middle line:84%
Her dreams and waking thoughts
in the final weeks of her life

00:01:58.240 --> 00:02:02.170 align:middle line:84%
were of that which
I could not fathom.

00:02:02.170 --> 00:02:05.140 align:middle line:90%
Of events I had not known.

00:02:05.140 --> 00:02:11.350 align:middle line:84%
Or maybe she relived all kinds
of everyday family events.

00:02:11.350 --> 00:02:17.140 align:middle line:84%
In this dream, that
morning, my mother and I

00:02:17.140 --> 00:02:21.190 align:middle line:84%
were joined by our quiet
breathing and lingering

00:02:21.190 --> 00:02:22.930 align:middle line:90%
gestures.

00:02:22.930 --> 00:02:30.120 align:middle line:84%
In this dream, my mother
and I were alone and silent.

00:02:30.120 --> 00:02:33.540 align:middle line:84%
In a few moments, the flurry
of the recycling truck

00:02:33.540 --> 00:02:38.290 align:middle line:84%
faded, and the usual
morning calm was restored.

00:02:38.290 --> 00:02:41.430 align:middle line:84%
The sleek little dogs
came back to bed,

00:02:41.430 --> 00:02:44.970 align:middle line:90%
panting from a job well done.

00:02:44.970 --> 00:02:49.250 align:middle line:84%
They licked my
upflung arm in unison.

00:02:49.250 --> 00:02:50.850 align:middle line:90%
"Biighaah," I said.

00:02:50.850 --> 00:02:52.450 align:middle line:90%
"Nizhoon."

00:02:52.450 --> 00:02:57.610 align:middle line:84%
They fell asleep instantly,
sinking into deep borderline

00:02:57.610 --> 00:02:59.770 align:middle line:90%
snoring.

00:02:59.770 --> 00:03:02.890 align:middle line:84%
Outside the bedroom
window, the morning

00:03:02.890 --> 00:03:07.570 align:middle line:84%
was bright and still, save
for the cooing and calling

00:03:07.570 --> 00:03:09.040 align:middle line:90%
of birds.

00:03:09.040 --> 00:03:13.120 align:middle line:84%
Their innate rituals
encircled the quiet houses

00:03:13.120 --> 00:03:16.240 align:middle line:90%
and solitary cacti.

00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:19.480 align:middle line:84%
Down the street,
garage doors slid shut.

00:03:19.480 --> 00:03:23.560 align:middle line:84%
And neighbors maneuvered
out of the curven driveways

00:03:23.560 --> 00:03:24.775 align:middle line:90%
to begin the day.

00:03:24.775 --> 00:03:27.560 align:middle line:90%


00:03:27.560 --> 00:03:31.910 align:middle line:84%
At that moment, I longed to
return to this first dream

00:03:31.910 --> 00:03:33.950 align:middle line:90%
of my mother.

00:03:33.950 --> 00:03:38.270 align:middle line:84%
I longed for the serene
space she created.

00:03:38.270 --> 00:03:43.040 align:middle line:84%
Now I knew she did
so, even in dreams.

00:03:43.040 --> 00:03:46.880 align:middle line:84%
Still, I longed to
prepare coffee for her,

00:03:46.880 --> 00:03:49.160 align:middle line:90%
to cook her breakfast.

00:03:49.160 --> 00:03:54.290 align:middle line:84%
Boiled eggs, no yolk,
and hash browns.

00:03:54.290 --> 00:04:00.620 align:middle line:84%
At times, my sisters and I
fed her spoonful by spoonful.

00:04:00.620 --> 00:04:05.690 align:middle line:84%
All the time, laughing
and listening.

00:04:05.690 --> 00:04:07.620 align:middle line:90%
Talking and listening.

00:04:07.620 --> 00:04:14.390 align:middle line:84%
Talking and sometimes laughing
over some childhood incident.

00:04:14.390 --> 00:04:18.500 align:middle line:84%
Suddenly, I realized
the sun was up.

00:04:18.500 --> 00:04:22.520 align:middle line:84%
The morning light had already
swept through the house.

00:04:22.520 --> 00:04:28.610 align:middle line:84%
I bolted in my own way
out of bed, put on coffee,

00:04:28.610 --> 00:04:32.180 align:middle line:84%
went outside to
stretch and pray.

00:04:32.180 --> 00:04:35.840 align:middle line:84%
The Holy People were
probably in Sonora by now.

00:04:35.840 --> 00:04:37.600 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:04:37.600 --> 00:04:40.070 align:middle line:90%
Oh, dear.

00:04:40.070 --> 00:04:43.100 align:middle line:90%
No wonder my mom visited me.

00:04:43.100 --> 00:04:46.640 align:middle line:84%
She always worried
that I slept too much.

00:04:46.640 --> 00:04:49.690 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:04:49.690 --> 00:04:53.000 align:middle line:90%