WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.630 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.630 --> 00:00:04.440 align:middle line:84% I wrote this book when I was also 00:00:04.440 --> 00:00:07.860 align:middle line:90% doing research in Siem Reap. 00:00:07.860 --> 00:00:12.150 align:middle line:84% And every time I go to the home of my ancestors 00:00:12.150 --> 00:00:14.850 align:middle line:84% I always feel like my relationship 00:00:14.850 --> 00:00:16.300 align:middle line:90% to the place changes. 00:00:16.300 --> 00:00:18.660 align:middle line:84% And I know that I have changed as well. 00:00:18.660 --> 00:00:24.240 align:middle line:84% The first time I went there as an adult was in 2010 00:00:24.240 --> 00:00:27.030 align:middle line:84% and I was there for the Water Festival. 00:00:27.030 --> 00:00:31.620 align:middle line:84% And I didn't go out at night when 00:00:31.620 --> 00:00:33.540 align:middle line:90% the fireworks were happening. 00:00:33.540 --> 00:00:36.780 align:middle line:84% I just ordered room service, but then the next morning I 00:00:36.780 --> 00:00:39.450 align:middle line:84% found out that there was a human stampede that 00:00:39.450 --> 00:00:42.030 align:middle line:84% happened on the bridge to Diamond Island. 00:00:42.030 --> 00:00:45.930 align:middle line:84% So this is a poem about that experience. 00:00:45.930 --> 00:00:50.160 align:middle line:84% ''Americans Dancing in the Heart of Darkness''. 00:00:50.160 --> 00:00:51.840 align:middle line:90% ''It's the Water Festival. 00:00:51.840 --> 00:00:53.370 align:middle line:90% The city is a crowd. 00:00:53.370 --> 00:00:56.760 align:middle line:84% My skin full of sun, like so many country people 00:00:56.760 --> 00:00:58.830 align:middle line:90% who have come to Phnom Penh. 00:00:58.830 --> 00:01:01.650 align:middle line:84% The Americans hate me and I hate them, 00:01:01.650 --> 00:01:03.720 align:middle line:84% but they're the only students with me 00:01:03.720 --> 00:01:06.240 align:middle line:90% and maybe I'm American too. 00:01:06.240 --> 00:01:09.930 align:middle line:84% When I returned to my windowless room at the Golden Gate Hotel, 00:01:09.930 --> 00:01:14.910 align:middle line:84% I order fresh young coconut, a club sandwich and French fries. 00:01:14.910 --> 00:01:18.780 align:middle line:84% A woman with a bruised face and a silver tray walks up seven 00:01:18.780 --> 00:01:21.420 align:middle line:90% floors, knocks on my door. 00:01:21.420 --> 00:01:24.180 align:middle line:84% The exchange students order room service too. 00:01:24.180 --> 00:01:26.430 align:middle line:84% And the same woman walks the flights 00:01:26.430 --> 00:01:29.190 align:middle line:90% of stairs nine more times. 00:01:29.190 --> 00:01:31.590 align:middle line:84% Fireworks crackle and I think, I'll 00:01:31.590 --> 00:01:34.920 align:middle line:84% be back to the same festival with my family. 00:01:34.920 --> 00:01:37.590 align:middle line:90% In the morning, 30 missed calls. 00:01:37.590 --> 00:01:40.920 align:middle line:84% There has been a human stampede on the bridge to Kopech. 00:01:40.920 --> 00:01:45.870 align:middle line:90% 347 reported dead, 755 injured. 00:01:45.870 --> 00:01:48.120 align:middle line:90% Shoes litter the river. 00:01:48.120 --> 00:01:51.030 align:middle line:84% The exchange program advises us to stay away 00:01:51.030 --> 00:01:52.680 align:middle line:90% from Diamond Island. 00:01:52.680 --> 00:01:54.810 align:middle line:84% The prime minister's remarks, this 00:01:54.810 --> 00:01:58.470 align:middle line:84% is the worst thing to happen since the Khmer Rouge. 00:01:58.470 --> 00:02:00.450 align:middle line:90% The Americans agree. 00:02:00.450 --> 00:02:03.480 align:middle line:84% I grow quiet in my windowless room. 00:02:03.480 --> 00:02:05.910 align:middle line:90% I step outside for air. 00:02:05.910 --> 00:02:08.550 align:middle line:90% The city, a crowd, disappearing. 00:02:08.550 --> 00:02:11.850 align:middle line:84% The crowd evacuated to the provinces. 00:02:11.850 --> 00:02:15.150 align:middle line:90% Cambodia, a perpetual stampede. 00:02:15.150 --> 00:02:17.820 align:middle line:84% School canceled at the University. 00:02:17.820 --> 00:02:20.730 align:middle line:90% A funerary ceremony instead. 00:02:20.730 --> 00:02:23.190 align:middle line:84% Do the Americans understand the program director 00:02:23.190 --> 00:02:26.460 align:middle line:84% when she tells us her neighbor's son has died? 00:02:26.460 --> 00:02:28.020 align:middle line:90% Most likely not. 00:02:28.020 --> 00:02:31.110 align:middle line:84% Later that evening, they still don't understand 00:02:31.110 --> 00:02:34.410 align:middle line:84% but I go with them anyway to the Heart of Darkness. 00:02:34.410 --> 00:02:37.260 align:middle line:90% The nightclub empty, but open. 00:02:37.260 --> 00:02:40.020 align:middle line:84% We dance with Khmer boys, strobe lights 00:02:40.020 --> 00:02:43.080 align:middle line:84% pull us on the floor this way, that. 00:02:43.080 --> 00:02:45.360 align:middle line:84% Our feet grope the shiny black tiles 00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:47.910 align:middle line:84% reflecting the bar where old expats sit 00:02:47.910 --> 00:02:50.040 align:middle line:90% with Khmer women making money. 00:02:50.040 --> 00:02:53.580 align:middle line:84% Yeah, yeah, it isn't expensive to get here or get back. 00:02:53.580 --> 00:02:55.710 align:middle line:90% We took a tuk-tuk and we danced. 00:02:55.710 --> 00:02:56.910 align:middle line:90% They laugh. 00:02:56.910 --> 00:02:59.820 align:middle line:90% Meanwhile, my mother calls me. 00:02:59.820 --> 00:03:01.380 align:middle line:90% My father calls me. 00:03:01.380 --> 00:03:03.570 align:middle line:84% My auntie calls me from Prey Veng. 00:03:03.570 --> 00:03:05.970 align:middle line:84% My uncle down the street from the hotel. 00:03:05.970 --> 00:03:07.620 align:middle line:90% My uncle in Kandal. 00:03:07.620 --> 00:03:10.670 align:middle line:84% My cousin's uncle in Siem Reap.'' 00:03:10.670 --> 00:03:12.026 align:middle line:90%