WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.260 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.260 --> 00:00:03.750 align:middle line:90% So I'm going to end-- 00:00:03.750 --> 00:00:06.400 align:middle line:90% I thank you for your attention. 00:00:06.400 --> 00:00:12.000 align:middle line:84% I am going to end with the piece that was the most difficult 00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:12.600 align:middle line:90% to write. 00:00:12.600 --> 00:00:17.130 align:middle line:84% It was the final piece in the book. 00:00:17.130 --> 00:00:28.610 align:middle line:84% You know, like how do you end a book about a dynamic that is 00:00:28.610 --> 00:00:31.310 align:middle line:90% part of our everyday dynamic? 00:00:31.310 --> 00:00:41.360 align:middle line:84% And before I do that, though, I'm going to read you a quote. 00:00:41.360 --> 00:00:44.840 align:middle line:84% I recommend this book by Jill Stauffer. 00:00:44.840 --> 00:00:47.900 align:middle line:84% She has a book called Ethical Loneliness. 00:00:47.900 --> 00:00:53.660 align:middle line:84% And in the book it says, "Ethical loneliness 00:00:53.660 --> 00:01:00.290 align:middle line:84% is the isolation one feels when one as a violated person, 00:01:00.290 --> 00:01:04.940 align:middle line:84% or as one member of a persecuted group, 00:01:04.940 --> 00:01:10.310 align:middle line:84% has been abandoned by humanity, or by those who have power 00:01:10.310 --> 00:01:14.060 align:middle line:90% over one's life possibilities." 00:01:14.060 --> 00:01:16.160 align:middle line:90% Ethical loneliness. 00:01:16.160 --> 00:01:16.880 align:middle line:90% I love that. 00:01:16.880 --> 00:01:17.720 align:middle line:90% It's a good book. 00:01:17.720 --> 00:01:19.130 align:middle line:90% You should read it. 00:01:19.130 --> 00:01:21.560 align:middle line:84% So I was trying to figure out how to end Citizen. 00:01:21.560 --> 00:01:30.160 align:middle line:84% I thought, I don't want to communicate something 00:01:30.160 --> 00:01:33.220 align:middle line:90% that isn't true in the ending. 00:01:33.220 --> 00:01:40.540 align:middle line:84% And the publisher kept saying to me, "We need the book. 00:01:40.540 --> 00:01:41.920 align:middle line:90% Send us the completed book." 00:01:41.920 --> 00:01:44.844 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:44.844 --> 00:01:45.820 align:middle line:90% 00:01:45.820 --> 00:01:48.620 align:middle line:84% I know you need the book, but I can't figure it out. 00:01:48.620 --> 00:01:51.580 align:middle line:90% 00:01:51.580 --> 00:01:56.920 align:middle line:90% And so one day, I-- 00:01:56.920 --> 00:01:57.890 align:middle line:90% it was a beautiful day. 00:01:57.890 --> 00:01:59.080 align:middle line:90% I remember the day. 00:01:59.080 --> 00:02:00.820 align:middle line:90% I had gone hiking. 00:02:00.820 --> 00:02:05.110 align:middle line:84% And then when I got back, I had to go to the club. 00:02:05.110 --> 00:02:06.280 align:middle line:90% It's just a fancy tomb. 00:02:06.280 --> 00:02:07.070 align:middle line:90% Don't worry. 00:02:07.070 --> 00:02:11.009 align:middle line:90% 00:02:11.009 --> 00:02:17.170 align:middle line:84% And I was sitting in my car waiting to go inside. 00:02:17.170 --> 00:02:23.140 align:middle line:84% And this woman, this white woman, drives up to my car, 00:02:23.140 --> 00:02:28.480 align:middle line:84% and she's driving and parking and not really looking around. 00:02:28.480 --> 00:02:31.480 align:middle line:84% But then she turns the car off, and she looks up 00:02:31.480 --> 00:02:34.970 align:middle line:90% and she sees me watching her. 00:02:34.970 --> 00:02:35.470 align:middle line:90% You know? 00:02:35.470 --> 00:02:37.262 align:middle line:84% Because I'm sitting there eating a banana-- 00:02:37.262 --> 00:02:38.470 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:38.470 --> 00:02:40.180 align:middle line:90% --and watching her park. 00:02:40.180 --> 00:02:42.640 align:middle line:84% Because I don't have to go into the club for another 10 00:02:42.640 --> 00:02:43.140 align:middle line:90% minutes. 00:02:43.140 --> 00:02:43.790 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:43.790 --> 00:02:47.480 align:middle line:84% And she looks at me, and I look at her, 00:02:47.480 --> 00:02:51.590 align:middle line:84% and then she turns the car around and backs up and drives 00:02:51.590 --> 00:02:53.030 align:middle line:90% to the other side of the lot-- 00:02:53.030 --> 00:02:54.530 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:54.530 --> 00:02:55.760 align:middle line:90% --and parked there. 00:02:55.760 --> 00:03:01.370 align:middle line:84% And I thought, you know, that's what Citizen needs. 00:03:01.370 --> 00:03:06.320 align:middle line:84% It needs me to ask her why she just did that. 00:03:06.320 --> 00:03:08.270 align:middle line:90% So I jump out of my car. 00:03:08.270 --> 00:03:11.540 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:03:11.540 --> 00:03:17.380 align:middle line:84% And I start running towards her car. 00:03:17.380 --> 00:03:23.060 align:middle line:84% But then, and God knows what she was thinking, right? 00:03:23.060 --> 00:03:28.760 align:middle line:84% But then I realized, I forgot my racquet. 00:03:28.760 --> 00:03:34.730 align:middle line:84% "I can hear the even breathing that 00:03:34.730 --> 00:03:38.570 align:middle line:90% creates passages to dreams. 00:03:38.570 --> 00:03:43.970 align:middle line:84% And yes, I want to interrupt to tell him/her, 00:03:43.970 --> 00:03:48.110 align:middle line:84% us/you/me, I don't know how to end 00:03:48.110 --> 00:03:51.300 align:middle line:90% what doesn't have an ending. 00:03:51.300 --> 00:03:59.510 align:middle line:84% 'Tell me a story,' he says, wrapping his arms around me. 00:03:59.510 --> 00:04:02.420 align:middle line:90% Yesterday I began. 00:04:02.420 --> 00:04:05.930 align:middle line:84% I was waiting in the car for time to pass. 00:04:05.930 --> 00:04:12.170 align:middle line:84% A woman pulled in and started to park her car, facing mine. 00:04:12.170 --> 00:04:17.300 align:middle line:84% Our eyes met and what a pass passed as quickly as a look 00:04:17.300 --> 00:04:19.250 align:middle line:90% away. 00:04:19.250 --> 00:04:25.550 align:middle line:84% She backed up and parked on the other side of the lot. 00:04:25.550 --> 00:04:31.670 align:middle line:84% I could have followed her to worry my question, 00:04:31.670 --> 00:04:34.010 align:middle line:90% but I had to go. 00:04:34.010 --> 00:04:38.000 align:middle line:90% I was expected on court. 00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:39.855 align:middle line:90% I grabbed my racquet. 00:04:39.855 --> 00:04:42.640 align:middle line:90% 00:04:42.640 --> 00:04:50.020 align:middle line:84% The sunrise is slow and cloudy, dragging the light in, 00:04:50.020 --> 00:04:50.560 align:middle line:90% but barely. 00:04:50.560 --> 00:04:53.380 align:middle line:90% 00:04:53.380 --> 00:04:55.120 align:middle line:90% 'Did you win,' he asked? 00:04:55.120 --> 00:04:57.830 align:middle line:90% 00:04:57.830 --> 00:05:01.510 align:middle line:90% 'It wasn't a match,' I say. 00:05:01.510 --> 00:05:03.797 align:middle line:90% 'It was a lesson.'" 00:05:03.797 --> 00:05:04.630 align:middle line:90% Thank you very much. 00:05:04.630 --> 00:05:07.980 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:05:07.980 --> 00:05:20.000 align:middle line:90%