WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.200 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.200 --> 00:00:02.970 align:middle line:90% This is the bigger one. 00:00:02.970 --> 00:00:06.200 align:middle line:90% 00:00:06.200 --> 00:00:08.910 align:middle line:84% Debord says that the spectacle corresponds 00:00:08.910 --> 00:00:12.060 align:middle line:84% to the historical moment at which the commodity completes 00:00:12.060 --> 00:00:15.570 align:middle line:90% its colonization of social life. 00:00:15.570 --> 00:00:18.030 align:middle line:84% It is not just that the relationship to commodities 00:00:18.030 --> 00:00:19.950 align:middle line:84% is now plain to see, commodities are 00:00:19.950 --> 00:00:22.200 align:middle line:90% now all that there is to see. 00:00:22.200 --> 00:00:25.450 align:middle line:84% The world we see is the world of the commodity. 00:00:25.450 --> 00:00:29.580 align:middle line:84% So I started thinking about women as commodities. 00:00:29.580 --> 00:00:34.050 align:middle line:84% We think about branding for writers sometimes, 00:00:34.050 --> 00:00:36.840 align:middle line:90% which I find is gross. 00:00:36.840 --> 00:00:43.740 align:middle line:84% But historically, you were to serve a purpose 00:00:43.740 --> 00:00:46.410 align:middle line:90% breeding and marriage. 00:00:46.410 --> 00:00:47.850 align:middle line:90% And it was a trade. 00:00:47.850 --> 00:00:50.250 align:middle line:84% You had dowries and all that other jazz. 00:00:50.250 --> 00:00:53.520 align:middle line:84% So I don't think that has really gone away. 00:00:53.520 --> 00:00:57.270 align:middle line:84% And when I was writing I'm So Fine, A List of Famous Men 00:00:57.270 --> 00:01:01.890 align:middle line:84% and What I Had On, I was thinking about my young life 00:01:01.890 --> 00:01:05.190 align:middle line:84% growing up in Los Angeles and being 00:01:05.190 --> 00:01:11.100 align:middle line:84% seen by these men as someone to collect or someone to possess 00:01:11.100 --> 00:01:13.410 align:middle line:90% and not necessarily to know. 00:01:13.410 --> 00:01:17.130 align:middle line:84% It was more they see something, they want the thing 00:01:17.130 --> 00:01:21.610 align:middle line:84% like they're going shopping, especially the famous ones. 00:01:21.610 --> 00:01:25.880 align:middle line:84% So I think that's partly what gender 00:01:25.880 --> 00:01:28.850 align:middle line:84% has to do with spectacle in public spaces. 00:01:28.850 --> 00:01:32.240 align:middle line:84% And then how do you play into that your own self? 00:01:32.240 --> 00:01:35.330 align:middle line:84% I know growing up, it was a big deal in Los Angeles 00:01:35.330 --> 00:01:37.670 align:middle line:84% to look good, to have branding stuff, 00:01:37.670 --> 00:01:40.010 align:middle line:84% and have your hair right, and all that stuff. 00:01:40.010 --> 00:01:46.490 align:middle line:84% And my younger sister, who is 22, she is a master of makeup, 00:01:46.490 --> 00:01:49.880 align:middle line:84% and yet she's pansexual and doesn't 00:01:49.880 --> 00:01:52.220 align:middle line:84% appreciate the attention that she gets from men. 00:01:52.220 --> 00:01:57.500 align:middle line:84% She wants to be as beautiful as possible in these mainstream 00:01:57.500 --> 00:02:00.560 align:middle line:84% ways, but she doesn't want to deal necessarily 00:02:00.560 --> 00:02:02.190 align:middle line:90% with the negativity of it. 00:02:02.190 --> 00:02:05.280 align:middle line:84% And so she's navigating that and I'm watching her do that. 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:07.775 align:middle line:84% And it depresses her sometimes, frankly. 00:02:07.775 --> 00:02:12.120 align:middle line:90% 00:02:12.120 --> 00:02:14.940 align:middle line:84% For me, because I didn't grow up with a lot-- 00:02:14.940 --> 00:02:18.360 align:middle line:90% she's grown up a lot. 00:02:18.360 --> 00:02:21.690 align:middle line:84% Being good looking in the downtrodden space 00:02:21.690 --> 00:02:25.470 align:middle line:84% is even more of a spectacle, because if you're 00:02:25.470 --> 00:02:27.870 align:middle line:84% a 13-year-old girl walking down the street 00:02:27.870 --> 00:02:31.950 align:middle line:84% and you have men stopping in the street 00:02:31.950 --> 00:02:35.850 align:middle line:84% to try to say hello to you and ask you if you want to ride, 00:02:35.850 --> 00:02:39.900 align:middle line:84% it's a spectacle to you as a teenager. 00:02:39.900 --> 00:02:42.660 align:middle line:84% It's not a spectacle necessarily in the environment. 00:02:42.660 --> 00:02:45.400 align:middle line:84% But I don't know if I'm just oversensitive or what, 00:02:45.400 --> 00:02:48.210 align:middle line:84% but it was creepy to me and I never forgot it. 00:02:48.210 --> 00:02:53.550 align:middle line:84% And it made me feel like I had to, as a poet, talk 00:02:53.550 --> 00:02:59.220 align:middle line:84% about how complicated it is to walk around 00:02:59.220 --> 00:03:03.390 align:middle line:84% in a gendered body in a culture that assigns 00:03:03.390 --> 00:03:09.990 align:middle line:84% specific roles unconsciously to each gender and the violence 00:03:09.990 --> 00:03:10.930 align:middle line:90% associated with that. 00:03:10.930 --> 00:03:14.880 align:middle line:84% Because really it is a violation of your space and-- 00:03:14.880 --> 00:03:17.770 align:middle line:84% your mental space and your physical space sometimes. 00:03:17.770 --> 00:03:23.390 align:middle line:84% So this picture is from the movie Panther. 00:03:23.390 --> 00:03:26.100 align:middle line:90% It's like in the '90s. 00:03:26.100 --> 00:03:28.500 align:middle line:84% That is Marcus Chong as Huey P. Newton. 00:03:28.500 --> 00:03:37.730 align:middle line:90% 00:03:37.730 --> 00:03:40.020 align:middle line:84% I met Marcus Chong on the 105 bus method acting. 00:03:40.020 --> 00:03:42.020 align:middle line:84% I was going home in a flowered dress after work. 00:03:42.020 --> 00:03:43.040 align:middle line:90% I worked at Fatburger. 00:03:43.040 --> 00:03:45.050 align:middle line:84% I was 18 and I think he was twice that. 00:03:45.050 --> 00:03:47.780 align:middle line:84% I had my uniform in my backpack with my statistics homework 00:03:47.780 --> 00:03:48.560 align:middle line:90% and Woman Warrior. 00:03:48.560 --> 00:03:50.352 align:middle line:84% I recognized him and said, I like Panther-- 00:03:50.352 --> 00:03:51.710 align:middle line:90% this was way before the Matrix. 00:03:51.710 --> 00:03:53.452 align:middle line:90% He asked for my number. 00:03:53.452 --> 00:03:54.410 align:middle line:90% We talked on the phone. 00:03:54.410 --> 00:03:56.077 align:middle line:84% He came to visit me on his bike since he 00:03:56.077 --> 00:03:58.520 align:middle line:84% didn't live far from my job and ordered a veggie burger. 00:03:58.520 --> 00:04:00.560 align:middle line:84% I had a lemonade on my 15-minute break 00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:03.710 align:middle line:84% in my black Fatburger outfit and ugly food service shoes. 00:04:03.710 --> 00:04:05.620 align:middle line:84% He asked me on a date and I said yes. 00:04:05.620 --> 00:04:06.620 align:middle line:90% He called with the plan. 00:04:06.620 --> 00:04:07.940 align:middle line:84% I said, I thought we were going somewhere. 00:04:07.940 --> 00:04:09.620 align:middle line:84% But he wanted to make me dinner at his house. 00:04:09.620 --> 00:04:11.287 align:middle line:84% I said, no, I don't know you well enough 00:04:11.287 --> 00:04:12.500 align:middle line:90% to go to your house. 00:04:12.500 --> 00:04:13.110 align:middle line:90% He got angry. 00:04:13.110 --> 00:04:13.610 align:middle line:90% The end. 00:04:13.610 --> 00:04:20.880 align:middle line:90% 00:04:20.880 --> 00:04:24.410 align:middle line:84% Oh, that's me with my best friends on prom 00:04:24.410 --> 00:04:29.000 align:middle line:84% and my waist will never be that small again. 00:04:29.000 --> 00:04:31.910 align:middle line:84% I met Cuba Gooding Jr. at the Beverly Center Food Court. 00:04:31.910 --> 00:04:32.473 align:middle line:90% I was 16. 00:04:32.473 --> 00:04:33.890 align:middle line:84% Boyz n the Hood had just came out. 00:04:33.890 --> 00:04:36.463 align:middle line:84% My best friend Tiffany dared me to ask if I could hug him. 00:04:36.463 --> 00:04:37.880 align:middle line:84% He said I was beautiful and seemed 00:04:37.880 --> 00:04:39.170 align:middle line:90% really happy to get that hug. 00:04:39.170 --> 00:04:41.030 align:middle line:90% But I brown blushed nervously. 00:04:41.030 --> 00:04:44.210 align:middle line:84% And he sat a few booths away with his friend and veggie 00:04:44.210 --> 00:04:46.940 align:middle line:84% slices from Sbarro and smiled a lot. 00:04:46.940 --> 00:04:49.520 align:middle line:84% And I wore Tiff's Kente cloth bomber jacket and red lipstick. 00:04:49.520 --> 00:04:52.010 align:middle line:84% I had perfect skin and didn't drink carbonated beverages. 00:04:52.010 --> 00:04:54.710 align:middle line:90% 00:04:54.710 --> 00:04:56.240 align:middle line:84% Beverly Center Food Court is also 00:04:56.240 --> 00:04:58.100 align:middle line:84% where I met Devante's brother from Jodeci. 00:04:58.100 --> 00:04:59.420 align:middle line:90% I forgot his name. 00:04:59.420 --> 00:05:01.970 align:middle line:84% But we really didn't meet he was just looking at my eyes 00:05:01.970 --> 00:05:03.110 align:middle line:90% and looking at my ass. 00:05:03.110 --> 00:05:04.207 align:middle line:90% I kept walking. 00:05:04.207 --> 00:05:05.790 align:middle line:84% I really liked red lipstick back then. 00:05:05.790 --> 00:05:06.915 align:middle line:90% We both had on white jeans. 00:05:06.915 --> 00:05:07.550 align:middle line:90% It was summer. 00:05:07.550 --> 00:05:11.490 align:middle line:90% 00:05:11.490 --> 00:05:15.893 align:middle line:84% Dave Chappelle also looked at my ass and he also said, damn! 00:05:15.893 --> 00:05:17.310 align:middle line:84% We were in the frozen food section 00:05:17.310 --> 00:05:19.200 align:middle line:84% at Ralph's in North Hollywood and I half-smiled. 00:05:19.200 --> 00:05:20.640 align:middle line:84% I was wearing my favorite old Levi's 00:05:20.640 --> 00:05:22.307 align:middle line:84% with the hole in the left side belt loop 00:05:22.307 --> 00:05:26.749 align:middle line:84% and had just moved back to LA with my two-year-old. 00:05:26.749 --> 00:05:28.050 align:middle line:90% That's the Beverly Center. 00:05:28.050 --> 00:05:31.880 align:middle line:90% 00:05:31.880 --> 00:05:34.070 align:middle line:90% Chris Rock did the same thing. 00:05:34.070 --> 00:05:36.770 align:middle line:84% Same jeans at the movie theater across from the Beverly Center, 00:05:36.770 --> 00:05:38.060 align:middle line:84% he thought he wouldn't be recognized 00:05:38.060 --> 00:05:39.810 align:middle line:84% with that newsboy cap on, but I saw him. 00:05:39.810 --> 00:05:40.477 align:middle line:90% He looked twice. 00:05:40.477 --> 00:05:43.460 align:middle line:90% 00:05:43.460 --> 00:05:46.340 align:middle line:84% My mom was waiting at the bus stop in 1960 00:05:46.340 --> 00:05:48.410 align:middle line:90% when she saw Chuck Connors. 00:05:48.410 --> 00:05:49.800 align:middle line:84% He flirted with her, did a double 00:05:49.800 --> 00:05:51.800 align:middle line:84% take as she waited to ride the Western line down 00:05:51.800 --> 00:05:53.690 align:middle line:84% Hollywood Boulevard to her job at Max Factor. 00:05:53.690 --> 00:05:56.030 align:middle line:84% She was only 21 and had just moved to LA 00:05:56.030 --> 00:05:58.550 align:middle line:84% and still wore crinoline under her dresses. 00:05:58.550 --> 00:06:01.250 align:middle line:84% He drove by the next day too in a long white Cadillac 00:06:01.250 --> 00:06:03.740 align:middle line:84% convertible with cowgirl horns Texas-ing the hood, 00:06:03.740 --> 00:06:06.660 align:middle line:84% and his face all sideburns and grin. 00:06:06.660 --> 00:06:08.257 align:middle line:84% She said it was fun watching him try, 00:06:08.257 --> 00:06:09.590 align:middle line:90% but she didn't give him no play. 00:06:09.590 --> 00:06:12.860 align:middle line:90% 00:06:12.860 --> 00:06:14.780 align:middle line:84% My mom has never been very starstruck, 00:06:14.780 --> 00:06:17.060 align:middle line:84% but she loved her some Billy Dee. 00:06:17.060 --> 00:06:18.407 align:middle line:90% My sister and I loved Star Wars. 00:06:18.407 --> 00:06:20.240 align:middle line:84% And when she saw Billy Dee Williams' picture 00:06:20.240 --> 00:06:22.820 align:middle line:84% on some trading cards we had, she went a little nuts, 00:06:22.820 --> 00:06:24.320 align:middle line:84% hollering and snatching at who we 00:06:24.320 --> 00:06:25.910 align:middle line:90% thought of as Lando Calrissian. 00:06:25.910 --> 00:06:27.490 align:middle line:90% She shouted, whoa! 00:06:27.490 --> 00:06:28.310 align:middle line:90% Oh! 00:06:28.310 --> 00:06:29.900 align:middle line:84% And snatched it and smiled and said, 00:06:29.900 --> 00:06:33.560 align:middle line:84% may I have that one to put in my wallet please? 00:06:33.560 --> 00:06:35.990 align:middle line:84% My mother has a gorgeous, Libran smile. 00:06:35.990 --> 00:06:38.128 align:middle line:84% I liked Lando too but not that much. 00:06:38.128 --> 00:06:38.795 align:middle line:90% So I said, sure. 00:06:38.795 --> 00:06:40.837 align:middle line:84% I giggled, and I must have been four or five when 00:06:40.837 --> 00:06:43.820 align:middle line:84% Star Wars came out and probably had on a Kmart short set when 00:06:43.820 --> 00:06:44.820 align:middle line:90% she ran into him. 00:06:44.820 --> 00:06:46.670 align:middle line:84% And when she ran into him at the Whole Foods 00:06:46.670 --> 00:06:50.240 align:middle line:84% in Studio City in 2004, she said to herself, Oh my God, my hair 00:06:50.240 --> 00:06:51.170 align:middle line:90% is not right. 00:06:51.170 --> 00:06:53.930 align:middle line:84% My clothes are not right, my shoes are not right. 00:06:53.930 --> 00:06:58.520 align:middle line:84% And hid behind a pyramid of assorted vitamins. 00:06:58.520 --> 00:07:00.560 align:middle line:84% So maybe she was a little starstruck, especially 00:07:00.560 --> 00:07:02.060 align:middle line:90% in the early Motown era. 00:07:02.060 --> 00:07:04.310 align:middle line:84% She and her sister Valerie made their way from Inkster 00:07:04.310 --> 00:07:07.250 align:middle line:84% to the front row at the 20 Grand in Detroit to see David Ruffin. 00:07:07.250 --> 00:07:09.160 align:middle line:84% And they made the biggest noise in the place, 00:07:09.160 --> 00:07:11.925 align:middle line:84% so of course he noticed them and asked their names 00:07:11.925 --> 00:07:13.550 align:middle line:84% and sang to them as he took their hands 00:07:13.550 --> 00:07:16.580 align:middle line:84% and a bunch of other women in the audience fell on the floor 00:07:16.580 --> 00:07:17.665 align:middle line:90% in a faint. 00:07:17.665 --> 00:07:19.040 align:middle line:84% My mother thought he was so cool. 00:07:19.040 --> 00:07:21.620 align:middle line:84% It was 1955 and she was in her last year of high school 00:07:21.620 --> 00:07:25.670 align:middle line:84% and had on a gold lame dress her Aunt [? Middy ?] had given her. 00:07:25.670 --> 00:07:28.310 align:middle line:84% A few weeks later, she saw Harry Belafonte walking down 00:07:28.310 --> 00:07:29.090 align:middle line:90% the street. 00:07:29.090 --> 00:07:31.640 align:middle line:84% She and her cousin Flavis Davis and sister Evelyn 00:07:31.640 --> 00:07:34.880 align:middle line:84% strolled to a show at the Fisher Theater, walking down Woodward. 00:07:34.880 --> 00:07:36.920 align:middle line:84% All of them wore kitten heels and pillbox 00:07:36.920 --> 00:07:39.020 align:middle line:84% hats and white gloves and chiffon and organdy 00:07:39.020 --> 00:07:40.940 align:middle line:90% dresses and full makeup. 00:07:40.940 --> 00:07:42.860 align:middle line:84% They used torn paper bag strips the night 00:07:42.860 --> 00:07:45.470 align:middle line:84% before to twist their hair into tight curls they called 00:07:45.470 --> 00:07:48.380 align:middle line:84% croquignoles and Flavis noticed the man 00:07:48.380 --> 00:07:51.410 align:middle line:84% in an avocado-colored suit jacket and whispered, 00:07:51.410 --> 00:07:53.597 align:middle line:90% is that Harry Belafonte? 00:07:53.597 --> 00:07:55.430 align:middle line:84% So they split up and got close enough to him 00:07:55.430 --> 00:07:58.070 align:middle line:84% that he said, hello, and smiled before he turned the corner 00:07:58.070 --> 00:08:00.290 align:middle line:84% and then they saw Eartha Kitt with a little white dog 00:08:00.290 --> 00:08:00.960 align:middle line:90% on a leash. 00:08:00.960 --> 00:08:02.060 align:middle line:84% She was sprinting across the street 00:08:02.060 --> 00:08:04.435 align:middle line:84% to the fisher wearing a white capelet and my mother said, 00:08:04.435 --> 00:08:06.380 align:middle line:84% I've got to have one of those myself. 00:08:06.380 --> 00:08:07.430 align:middle line:90% The cape, not the dog. 00:08:07.430 --> 00:08:10.470 align:middle line:90% 00:08:10.470 --> 00:08:14.115 align:middle line:84% When I met LL Cool J, I had just quit Fatburger. 00:08:14.115 --> 00:08:15.990 align:middle line:84% It was a Saturday morning and without knowing 00:08:15.990 --> 00:08:17.365 align:middle line:84% how I would afford to pay for it, 00:08:17.365 --> 00:08:21.110 align:middle line:84% I drove my new used powder blue 1988 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme 00:08:21.110 --> 00:08:23.220 align:middle line:84% with my sister to the Sam Goody's off Washington 00:08:23.220 --> 00:08:23.910 align:middle line:90% Boulevard. 00:08:23.910 --> 00:08:26.490 align:middle line:84% And we met our friend ex-coworker Squeak, a.k.a. 00:08:26.490 --> 00:08:27.300 align:middle line:90% Slim. 00:08:27.300 --> 00:08:30.210 align:middle line:84% She wore rimless glasses and was six feet tall 00:08:30.210 --> 00:08:32.220 align:middle line:84% and nicknamed by the same ex-coworker who 00:08:32.220 --> 00:08:35.700 align:middle line:84% nicknamed me 21 and my sister 22 because she 00:08:35.700 --> 00:08:37.710 align:middle line:90% couldn't pronounce our names. 00:08:37.710 --> 00:08:38.826 align:middle line:90% But our boss Lena could. 00:08:38.826 --> 00:08:40.409 align:middle line:84% She called our names all the damn day. 00:08:40.409 --> 00:08:42.690 align:middle line:84% She had a slight goatee and cricket glasses and a limp 00:08:42.690 --> 00:08:45.630 align:middle line:90% and she was mean. 00:08:45.630 --> 00:08:48.000 align:middle line:84% And because she said we thought we were cute. 00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:49.463 align:middle line:84% She loved making us do the dirtiest 00:08:49.463 --> 00:08:51.630 align:middle line:84% work like cleaning toilets and underneath the grill, 00:08:51.630 --> 00:08:53.430 align:middle line:84% especially when the general manager changed 00:08:53.430 --> 00:08:55.178 align:middle line:84% our title to customer service rep 00:08:55.178 --> 00:08:57.720 align:middle line:84% and we were supposed to engage the guests, not deal with food 00:08:57.720 --> 00:08:58.773 align:middle line:90% and cleaning so much. 00:08:58.773 --> 00:09:00.690 align:middle line:84% And one day she spilled something on the floor 00:09:00.690 --> 00:09:02.610 align:middle line:84% and told me to mop it up right now. 00:09:02.610 --> 00:09:05.040 align:middle line:84% This was after she accused me of stealing two $20 00:09:05.040 --> 00:09:05.790 align:middle line:90% from the register. 00:09:05.790 --> 00:09:07.902 align:middle line:84% So I was already mad and Mike, the grill guy, 00:09:07.902 --> 00:09:10.110 align:middle line:84% said she found it under the counter the next morning. 00:09:10.110 --> 00:09:11.880 align:middle line:84% So I looked her right in the sweaty face 00:09:11.880 --> 00:09:14.430 align:middle line:84% and said, you mop it up, and dropped the mop 00:09:14.430 --> 00:09:18.690 align:middle line:84% like a microphone and walked out to applause. 00:09:18.690 --> 00:09:20.047 align:middle line:90% Anyway, fast forward. 00:09:20.047 --> 00:09:21.630 align:middle line:84% The three of us stood in line together 00:09:21.630 --> 00:09:25.290 align:middle line:84% to buy LL's new CD, talking shit about Lena's missing side 00:09:25.290 --> 00:09:26.460 align:middle line:90% teeth. 00:09:26.460 --> 00:09:29.010 align:middle line:84% I had on black slacks and black Aerosoles sandals 00:09:29.010 --> 00:09:31.740 align:middle line:84% and a cheap silky polyester Rampage button-down with cap 00:09:31.740 --> 00:09:33.210 align:middle line:84% sleeves and graphic with sunflowers 00:09:33.210 --> 00:09:35.460 align:middle line:84% and carried my lipstick and wallet and a tiny pleather 00:09:35.460 --> 00:09:36.420 align:middle line:90% backpack. 00:09:36.420 --> 00:09:38.220 align:middle line:84% I'm sure I looked a hot, poor mess. 00:09:38.220 --> 00:09:39.540 align:middle line:90% But oh well. 00:09:39.540 --> 00:09:41.580 align:middle line:84% We got to see LL lick them lips and smile 00:09:41.580 --> 00:09:43.230 align:middle line:90% and sign our posters and CDs. 00:09:43.230 --> 00:09:44.970 align:middle line:84% I sent the poster to my niece in Michigan 00:09:44.970 --> 00:09:47.210 align:middle line:84% and the CD wasn't all that good, but I did like that new song 00:09:47.210 --> 00:09:47.918 align:middle line:90% with Boyz II Men. 00:09:47.918 --> 00:09:49.410 align:middle line:90% We bumped that in the Oldsmo. 00:09:49.410 --> 00:09:53.490 align:middle line:84% And I still miss that car's hellified bass. 00:09:53.490 --> 00:09:55.350 align:middle line:84% Montell Jordan came to the drive-through 00:09:55.350 --> 00:09:57.870 align:middle line:84% as I was clocking up the day before I quit. 00:09:57.870 --> 00:10:00.330 align:middle line:84% So I went outside to get his autograph for one of my nieces 00:10:00.330 --> 00:10:02.580 align:middle line:90% who thought he was so fine. 00:10:02.580 --> 00:10:04.645 align:middle line:84% He was in a black suburban with 50-11 dudes 00:10:04.645 --> 00:10:07.020 align:middle line:84% and was really cool about it and didn't try to hit on me. 00:10:07.020 --> 00:10:08.607 align:middle line:84% I probably smelled like fat fries, 00:10:08.607 --> 00:10:11.190 align:middle line:84% even though I changed out of my uniform and into khaki shorts. 00:10:11.190 --> 00:10:13.107 align:middle line:84% He turned the music way down to hear me better 00:10:13.107 --> 00:10:14.377 align:middle line:90% and seemed really tired. 00:10:14.377 --> 00:10:15.210 align:middle line:90% I knew that feeling. 00:10:15.210 --> 00:10:17.698 align:middle line:84% I still had to take two buses home and get up at 5:30 00:10:17.698 --> 00:10:19.740 align:middle line:84% the next morning to make it to 8:00 AM statistics 00:10:19.740 --> 00:10:21.198 align:middle line:84% classes in Santa Monica and try not 00:10:21.198 --> 00:10:25.140 align:middle line:84% to get flashed like earlier that day by a barefoot homeless man 00:10:25.140 --> 00:10:27.540 align:middle line:90% in a filthy cloth diaper thing. 00:10:27.540 --> 00:10:29.520 align:middle line:84% I was too tired to be anything but mad 00:10:29.520 --> 00:10:32.670 align:middle line:84% that I had to stop studying and leave my seat on the bus bench 00:10:32.670 --> 00:10:36.870 align:middle line:84% as he swung his pale penis around like a stripper tassel. 00:10:36.870 --> 00:10:39.560 align:middle line:84% I screamed, get the hell out of my face! 00:10:39.560 --> 00:10:42.690 align:middle line:84% And he sagged like an empty burlap sack 00:10:42.690 --> 00:10:46.830 align:middle line:84% and walked away, revealing the thong quality of the diaper 00:10:46.830 --> 00:10:49.510 align:middle line:84% which made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. 00:10:49.510 --> 00:10:51.510 align:middle line:84% And a cop strolled out of the nearby windshield, 00:10:51.510 --> 00:10:53.968 align:middle line:84% sipping a large cup of coffee and asked if I was all right. 00:10:53.968 --> 00:10:55.650 align:middle line:84% He said, do you want me to arrest him? 00:10:55.650 --> 00:10:56.400 align:middle line:90% I said, no. 00:10:56.400 --> 00:10:59.736 align:middle line:84% I just want to keep reading The Salt Eaters. 00:10:59.736 --> 00:11:03.140 align:middle line:90% 00:11:03.140 --> 00:11:06.110 align:middle line:84% When we met Tupac, we had just left the arena on Sunset 00:11:06.110 --> 00:11:08.900 align:middle line:84% because it was gay night and we couldn't get in. 00:11:08.900 --> 00:11:11.498 align:middle line:84% We were five of us crammed into Kelly's red hatchback 00:11:11.498 --> 00:11:13.790 align:middle line:84% about to get some Taco Bell and go home when we saw him 00:11:13.790 --> 00:11:15.590 align:middle line:84% in a black Mercedes, equally crammed, 00:11:15.590 --> 00:11:17.490 align:middle line:84% and we screamed and yelled, "We love you!" 00:11:17.490 --> 00:11:19.250 align:middle line:84% And he and his friends invited us 00:11:19.250 --> 00:11:21.710 align:middle line:84% to a hotel party which seemed sketchy to me, 00:11:21.710 --> 00:11:22.760 align:middle line:90% but it was Tupac. 00:11:22.760 --> 00:11:25.430 align:middle line:84% And it was Kelly's car and she wanted to go, so we went. 00:11:25.430 --> 00:11:27.613 align:middle line:84% It was not far away also on Sunset. 00:11:27.613 --> 00:11:29.780 align:middle line:84% By the time we got a parking space, a bunch of girls 00:11:29.780 --> 00:11:31.800 align:middle line:84% were already there talking to him. 00:11:31.800 --> 00:11:34.308 align:middle line:84% He was surrounded and shorter than all of them. 00:11:34.308 --> 00:11:36.350 align:middle line:84% His head looked like it was bigger than his body, 00:11:36.350 --> 00:11:38.810 align:middle line:84% but he had really white perfect teeth and a leather vest 00:11:38.810 --> 00:11:41.390 align:middle line:84% with no shirt and all those hot tattoos. 00:11:41.390 --> 00:11:43.103 align:middle line:84% We asked one of the bodyguard guys 00:11:43.103 --> 00:11:45.020 align:middle line:84% where the bathroom was so we could freshen up. 00:11:45.020 --> 00:11:46.687 align:middle line:84% And of course we all had to go together. 00:11:46.687 --> 00:11:48.740 align:middle line:84% And Kelly started talking about how much she 00:11:48.740 --> 00:11:49.760 align:middle line:90% wanted to get at Tupac. 00:11:49.760 --> 00:11:52.520 align:middle line:84% She was from Louisiana and lived in a house in the Hollywood 00:11:52.520 --> 00:11:54.860 align:middle line:84% Hills, the richest of us, which was easy, actually, 00:11:54.860 --> 00:11:56.720 align:middle line:84% because we were mostly poor and lived in apartments. 00:11:56.720 --> 00:11:58.470 align:middle line:84% But she said she wanted to get to his room 00:11:58.470 --> 00:12:00.377 align:middle line:84% and have sex with him and say he raped her. 00:12:00.377 --> 00:12:01.460 align:middle line:90% Can you believe that shit? 00:12:01.460 --> 00:12:02.690 align:middle line:90% She wanted the money. 00:12:02.690 --> 00:12:05.090 align:middle line:84% And we all laughed at first, but this chick was serious. 00:12:05.090 --> 00:12:06.290 align:middle line:84% We told her we weren't going for it. 00:12:06.290 --> 00:12:07.190 align:middle line:90% And she said, whatever. 00:12:07.190 --> 00:12:08.270 align:middle line:90% I'm cuter than all y'all. 00:12:08.270 --> 00:12:10.820 align:middle line:84% [INAUDIBLE] I can do whatever the fuck I want. 00:12:10.820 --> 00:12:14.060 align:middle line:84% She unbuttoned her top down to the white base of her bra 00:12:14.060 --> 00:12:15.500 align:middle line:90% and walked out of the bathroom. 00:12:15.500 --> 00:12:17.720 align:middle line:84% I had on one of my least favorite outfits 00:12:17.720 --> 00:12:19.760 align:middle line:84% because it was time to do the laundry. 00:12:19.760 --> 00:12:21.260 align:middle line:84% I might be blocking it from memory, 00:12:21.260 --> 00:12:23.600 align:middle line:84% but I think it was brown or olive green or something yuck. 00:12:23.600 --> 00:12:25.683 align:middle line:84% And the four of us debated what to do about Kelly. 00:12:25.683 --> 00:12:27.920 align:middle line:84% So I decided to call my dad for a ride home. 00:12:27.920 --> 00:12:30.380 align:middle line:84% Came out of the bathroom and asked where the payphone was. 00:12:30.380 --> 00:12:33.355 align:middle line:84% Back then, we all had pagers but no cells. 00:12:33.355 --> 00:12:35.480 align:middle line:84% And one of the bodyguards was blocking another girl 00:12:35.480 --> 00:12:36.480 align:middle line:90% from entering the lobby. 00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:39.780 align:middle line:84% She was at least 6 feet tall and barely dressed but super young 00:12:39.780 --> 00:12:40.280 align:middle line:90% in the face. 00:12:40.280 --> 00:12:41.090 align:middle line:90% He asked for ID. 00:12:41.090 --> 00:12:42.530 align:middle line:90% It was a middle school ID. 00:12:42.530 --> 00:12:44.450 align:middle line:90% She was only 13. 00:12:44.450 --> 00:12:46.882 align:middle line:84% He told her go right home right now, little girl. 00:12:46.882 --> 00:12:47.840 align:middle line:90% Where are your parents? 00:12:47.840 --> 00:12:49.850 align:middle line:84% We were in shock but glad he seemed decent. 00:12:49.850 --> 00:12:52.310 align:middle line:84% We felt like we had to tell him what Kelly was doing. 00:12:52.310 --> 00:12:54.500 align:middle line:84% And she saw us coming up to him and got pissed. 00:12:54.500 --> 00:12:57.350 align:middle line:84% She walked away from where she was waiting to talk to Tupac. 00:12:57.350 --> 00:13:00.770 align:middle line:84% Yes, there were that many chicks up in there all lined up. 00:13:00.770 --> 00:13:02.210 align:middle line:90% And she said, let's just go. 00:13:02.210 --> 00:13:04.668 align:middle line:84% And in the car, she called us a bunch of lame virgins, 00:13:04.668 --> 00:13:05.460 align:middle line:90% but we didn't care. 00:13:05.460 --> 00:13:07.550 align:middle line:84% I said she was a skank for trying to do that. 00:13:07.550 --> 00:13:09.200 align:middle line:84% And she wanted me out of her car. 00:13:09.200 --> 00:13:11.000 align:middle line:84% But nobody would let her do that either. 00:13:11.000 --> 00:13:12.500 align:middle line:84% We never really hung out again after that. 00:13:12.500 --> 00:13:12.770 align:middle line:90% Oh well. 00:13:12.770 --> 00:13:14.270 align:middle line:84% I didn't really like her that much anyway. 00:13:14.270 --> 00:13:16.070 align:middle line:84% When we met, it was because she said I tried to steal her 00:13:16.070 --> 00:13:16.910 align:middle line:90% boyfriend, but I didn't. 00:13:16.910 --> 00:13:17.618 align:middle line:90% He came on to me. 00:13:17.618 --> 00:13:19.460 align:middle line:84% He was the captain of the basketball team. 00:13:19.460 --> 00:13:21.877 align:middle line:84% And I didn't even know he was a basketball player and all. 00:13:21.877 --> 00:13:23.527 align:middle line:84% I was just trying to study for my SATs 00:13:23.527 --> 00:13:24.860 align:middle line:90% and that is a whole other story. 00:13:24.860 --> 00:13:29.480 align:middle line:90% 00:13:29.480 --> 00:13:31.340 align:middle line:84% I am from Los Angeles, obviously. 00:13:31.340 --> 00:13:34.730 align:middle line:84% And the first famous man I saw was Eddie Murphy. 00:13:34.730 --> 00:13:35.570 align:middle line:90% We were on Slauson. 00:13:35.570 --> 00:13:37.070 align:middle line:84% It was dark early because of winter 00:13:37.070 --> 00:13:38.570 align:middle line:84% and we got off the bus with my mother. 00:13:38.570 --> 00:13:40.640 align:middle line:84% We had just seen Beverly Hills Cop a few weeks before 00:13:40.640 --> 00:13:42.890 align:middle line:84% and I looked into the junky brown car at the stoplight 00:13:42.890 --> 00:13:46.610 align:middle line:84% and said, mama, that is Eddie Murphy. 00:13:46.610 --> 00:13:49.160 align:middle line:84% And I pointed and my sister said, that is him! 00:13:49.160 --> 00:13:51.800 align:middle line:84% And she pointed We had on matching purple and pink coats 00:13:51.800 --> 00:13:53.570 align:middle line:90% from Montgomery Ward. 00:13:53.570 --> 00:13:55.490 align:middle line:84% I could tell he mouthed to the passenger, 00:13:55.490 --> 00:13:56.660 align:middle line:90% I think they recognized me. 00:13:56.660 --> 00:13:58.370 align:middle line:84% And he laughed a real Eddie Murphy laugh. 00:13:58.370 --> 00:13:59.495 align:middle line:90% We could see all his teeth. 00:13:59.495 --> 00:14:02.053 align:middle line:84% And he beeped the horn and we all waved as we drove off. 00:14:02.053 --> 00:14:03.470 align:middle line:84% And I wondered why the hell he was 00:14:03.470 --> 00:14:05.570 align:middle line:84% in that junky car with the guy in the striped tracksuit. 00:14:05.570 --> 00:14:06.403 align:middle line:90% I think I was eight. 00:14:06.403 --> 00:14:11.220 align:middle line:90% 00:14:11.220 --> 00:14:13.655 align:middle line:90% What am I doing? 00:14:13.655 --> 00:14:16.750 align:middle line:84% I'll read a couple more and that'll be it. 00:14:16.750 --> 00:14:18.940 align:middle line:90% Comedians can be the best. 00:14:18.940 --> 00:14:20.530 align:middle line:84% 20 years ago, I sat in the front row 00:14:20.530 --> 00:14:22.750 align:middle line:84% of this comedy spot on Fairfax with my sister 00:14:22.750 --> 00:14:24.210 align:middle line:84% when Chris Tucker first came to LA. 00:14:24.210 --> 00:14:26.710 align:middle line:84% He was skinny and young and I wanted to stop laughing during 00:14:26.710 --> 00:14:29.295 align:middle line:84% his set because I had done, like, 100 Crunches that day, 00:14:29.295 --> 00:14:29.920 align:middle line:90% but I couldn't. 00:14:29.920 --> 00:14:31.128 align:middle line:90% It hurt, but I just couldn't. 00:14:31.128 --> 00:14:33.010 align:middle line:84% We had dinner there too, my sister 00:14:33.010 --> 00:14:34.510 align:middle line:90% had three hot wings left. 00:14:34.510 --> 00:14:35.887 align:middle line:90% And he said, I'm hungry, dammit! 00:14:35.887 --> 00:14:37.970 align:middle line:84% And looked at her food and looked at her and said, 00:14:37.970 --> 00:14:38.762 align:middle line:90% gimme that chicken. 00:14:38.762 --> 00:14:40.488 align:middle line:84% You ain't gonna eat that chicken. 00:14:40.488 --> 00:14:41.530 align:middle line:90% She passed him the plate. 00:14:41.530 --> 00:14:43.810 align:middle line:84% He ate it right there at the microphone. 00:14:43.810 --> 00:14:46.197 align:middle line:84% This is some good ass chicken, he said. 00:14:46.197 --> 00:14:48.280 align:middle line:84% And this other comedian stopped us on the way out. 00:14:48.280 --> 00:14:50.710 align:middle line:84% He wasn't anywhere near as funny as Chris Tucker but whatever. 00:14:50.710 --> 00:14:52.300 align:middle line:84% He was sort of charming, gave me his card 00:14:52.300 --> 00:14:53.470 align:middle line:90% and said there was a party. 00:14:53.470 --> 00:14:55.137 align:middle line:84% The next day, he wrote down the address. 00:14:55.137 --> 00:14:56.440 align:middle line:90% I went with a friend. 00:14:56.440 --> 00:14:59.410 align:middle line:84% When we got there, there was no party, just him and a huge guy 00:14:59.410 --> 00:15:00.600 align:middle line:90% who seemed sheisty. 00:15:00.600 --> 00:15:02.352 align:middle line:90% And my friend was like, nope. 00:15:02.352 --> 00:15:04.810 align:middle line:84% But I had to use the bathroom and we had driven all the way 00:15:04.810 --> 00:15:06.263 align:middle line:90% to the Valley in my Sentra. 00:15:06.263 --> 00:15:07.180 align:middle line:90% And he was a comedian. 00:15:07.180 --> 00:15:08.555 align:middle line:84% What the fuck was he going to do? 00:15:08.555 --> 00:15:09.640 align:middle line:90% So we had to go in. 00:15:09.640 --> 00:15:12.075 align:middle line:84% He tried to give us drinks, but I didn't drink back then. 00:15:12.075 --> 00:15:13.450 align:middle line:84% And when I came out the bathroom, 00:15:13.450 --> 00:15:15.610 align:middle line:84% he pressed me to the wall and tried to kiss me and feel me 00:15:15.610 --> 00:15:17.068 align:middle line:84% up, but I was a head taller than he 00:15:17.068 --> 00:15:19.180 align:middle line:90% was in my white platform shoes. 00:15:19.180 --> 00:15:23.020 align:middle line:84% Yes, white platform sandals and drawstring linen pants. 00:15:23.020 --> 00:15:24.490 align:middle line:90% And he played with the string. 00:15:24.490 --> 00:15:27.607 align:middle line:84% I said, oh, I have something in the car that I brought for you. 00:15:27.607 --> 00:15:29.690 align:middle line:84% And my friend was already outside smoking a beedi. 00:15:29.690 --> 00:15:31.450 align:middle line:84% And we got the F out and back on the 101. 00:15:31.450 --> 00:15:33.280 align:middle line:90% And wouldn't you know it? 00:15:33.280 --> 00:15:35.470 align:middle line:84% A few months later, Chris Tucker and Faizon Love 00:15:35.470 --> 00:15:37.480 align:middle line:84% came to Music Land where I worked and pretended 00:15:37.480 --> 00:15:38.828 align:middle line:90% to buy a polka tape. 00:15:38.828 --> 00:15:40.370 align:middle line:84% He made me ring it up and everything, 00:15:40.370 --> 00:15:42.220 align:middle line:84% which got on my nerves because I had to void the ticket. 00:15:42.220 --> 00:15:44.860 align:middle line:84% He said, what the hell would I look like bumping polka? 00:15:44.860 --> 00:15:47.680 align:middle line:84% And the way he was looking at me like I was a plate of chicken. 00:15:47.680 --> 00:15:48.652 align:middle line:90% And got too close. 00:15:48.652 --> 00:15:50.860 align:middle line:84% And asked if I had a boyfriend, which actually I did. 00:15:50.860 --> 00:15:52.900 align:middle line:84% That boyfriend would rape me later that week 00:15:52.900 --> 00:15:55.780 align:middle line:84% right behind my apartment in an old Toyota Corona, 00:15:55.780 --> 00:15:58.150 align:middle line:84% wearing his Crenshaw High School leather jacket. 00:15:58.150 --> 00:16:00.290 align:middle line:84% He was the quarterback, neighborhood famous. 00:16:00.290 --> 00:16:00.790 align:middle line:90% Oh well. 00:16:00.790 --> 00:16:03.280 align:middle line:90% It's the end of 1993 anyway. 00:16:03.280 --> 00:16:06.340 align:middle line:84% And Chris Tucker made me nervous at the same time 00:16:06.340 --> 00:16:07.915 align:middle line:90% I was trying not to laugh. 00:16:07.915 --> 00:16:19.124 align:middle line:90% 00:16:19.124 --> 00:16:19.624 align:middle line:90% Hm. 00:16:19.624 --> 00:16:22.640 align:middle line:90% 00:16:22.640 --> 00:16:26.450 align:middle line:84% I better not be thinking of these. 00:16:26.450 --> 00:16:28.980 align:middle line:90% This is the last one. 00:16:28.980 --> 00:16:33.420 align:middle line:84% Who do I see at the bookstore in the Minneapolis 00:16:33.420 --> 00:16:36.420 align:middle line:84% airport but Samuel L. Jackson in a gray sweat suit? 00:16:36.420 --> 00:16:39.112 align:middle line:84% And I had on my gained 10 pounds muffin top jeans. 00:16:39.112 --> 00:16:40.320 align:middle line:90% It was mostly empty in there. 00:16:40.320 --> 00:16:42.210 align:middle line:84% I was buying books for my son and baby nephew. 00:16:42.210 --> 00:16:43.350 align:middle line:84% And I almost didn't say anything, 00:16:43.350 --> 00:16:44.433 align:middle line:90% but he walked right by me. 00:16:44.433 --> 00:16:47.672 align:middle line:84% I couldn't not whisper "Sam Jackson" with my eyes narrowed. 00:16:47.672 --> 00:16:48.630 align:middle line:90% And he is kind of tall. 00:16:48.630 --> 00:16:51.563 align:middle line:90% He said, and you are? 00:16:51.563 --> 00:16:52.980 align:middle line:84% And I just gave him my first name. 00:16:52.980 --> 00:16:55.440 align:middle line:84% He said, oh, Khadijah, with a wide, genuine smile 00:16:55.440 --> 00:16:56.750 align:middle line:90% and an exclamation point. 00:16:56.750 --> 00:16:57.940 align:middle line:90% So of course I got nervous. 00:16:57.940 --> 00:16:59.732 align:middle line:84% I didn't want him to think I was a groupie. 00:16:59.732 --> 00:17:00.840 align:middle line:90% I'm paranoid like that. 00:17:00.840 --> 00:17:01.440 align:middle line:90% That's stupid. 00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:04.380 align:middle line:84% I had on old jeans, my hair was a mess and, hello, muffin top, 00:17:04.380 --> 00:17:06.180 align:middle line:90% but I managed to say, big fan. 00:17:06.180 --> 00:17:07.260 align:middle line:90% Nice to meet you. 00:17:07.260 --> 00:17:09.060 align:middle line:84% Shake his hand and walk to my gate. 00:17:09.060 --> 00:17:10.780 align:middle line:84% When I called my mother, she said, 00:17:10.780 --> 00:17:12.510 align:middle line:84% you should've given him a Black peculiar. 00:17:12.510 --> 00:17:15.569 align:middle line:90% 00:17:15.569 --> 00:17:16.403 align:middle line:90% Thank you, guys. 00:17:16.403 --> 00:17:18.335 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:17:18.335 --> 00:17:28.478 align:middle line:90% 00:17:28.478 --> 00:17:32.125 align:middle line:84% So if you want to do Q&A, that's why I'm still standing here. 00:17:32.125 --> 00:17:33.400 align:middle line:90% Thanks, Khadijah. 00:17:33.400 --> 00:17:33.980 align:middle line:90% That's great. 00:17:33.980 --> 00:17:34.480 align:middle line:90% Questions? 00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:35.780 align:middle line:90% We have time for questions. 00:17:35.780 --> 00:17:37.840 align:middle line:84% And I'll come around to you with the microphone. 00:17:37.840 --> 00:17:40.529 align:middle line:84% That's the only picture I have with a celebrity. 00:17:40.529 --> 00:17:41.029 align:middle line:90%