WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.990 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.990 --> 00:00:03.030 align:middle line:84% So I'll read just a very, very little bit. 00:00:03.030 --> 00:00:06.630 align:middle line:84% But are there any questions about this particular 00:00:06.630 --> 00:00:07.770 align:middle line:90% presentation or anything? 00:00:07.770 --> 00:00:11.060 align:middle line:90% 00:00:11.060 --> 00:00:12.080 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:00:12.080 --> 00:00:13.226 align:middle line:90% OK, I'll read. 00:00:13.226 --> 00:00:17.194 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHING] 00:00:17.194 --> 00:00:30.100 align:middle line:90% 00:00:30.100 --> 00:00:32.800 align:middle line:84% So I teach a creative writing workshop. 00:00:32.800 --> 00:00:35.440 align:middle line:90% And I ask my students to-- 00:00:35.440 --> 00:00:36.880 align:middle line:90% I give them assignments. 00:00:36.880 --> 00:00:40.992 align:middle line:84% I just like everyone to do the same thing-- 00:00:40.992 --> 00:00:43.450 align:middle line:84% not because it's monotonous, but because then everyone else 00:00:43.450 --> 00:00:45.100 align:middle line:84% to sort of solve the same problem. 00:00:45.100 --> 00:00:47.920 align:middle line:84% And I usually give assignments like, well, 00:00:47.920 --> 00:00:50.080 align:middle line:84% you're going to write a seven-line poem. 00:00:50.080 --> 00:00:54.850 align:middle line:84% And you have to use the word toaster oven in line 1. 00:00:54.850 --> 00:00:59.200 align:middle line:84% And you have to use the word bazooka in line 2. 00:00:59.200 --> 00:01:01.840 align:middle line:84% And then you have to make a transition between a paper 00:01:01.840 --> 00:01:06.297 align:middle line:84% hat and a geisha dancer midway through the second line. 00:01:06.297 --> 00:01:08.130 align:middle line:84% And then you have to make other transitions. 00:01:08.130 --> 00:01:09.505 align:middle line:84% So I do all these sorts of things 00:01:09.505 --> 00:01:13.120 align:middle line:84% just so that the students will forget what they were supposed 00:01:13.120 --> 00:01:15.640 align:middle line:84% to do, which is write at home, because then usually 00:01:15.640 --> 00:01:18.100 align:middle line:90% something nice happens. 00:01:18.100 --> 00:01:20.380 align:middle line:90% But this is a poem I wrote. 00:01:20.380 --> 00:01:23.860 align:middle line:84% I often do these poems myself, because I 00:01:23.860 --> 00:01:27.790 align:middle line:84% feel it's only fair if I give students an assignment that I 00:01:27.790 --> 00:01:28.780 align:middle line:90% should do it too. 00:01:28.780 --> 00:01:30.700 align:middle line:90% So this is called "Diary/Blog." 00:01:30.700 --> 00:01:33.190 align:middle line:84% So I ask my students to all start a blog 00:01:33.190 --> 00:01:36.070 align:middle line:84% and to write a poem about blogging or writing 00:01:36.070 --> 00:01:37.480 align:middle line:90% on the blog platform. 00:01:37.480 --> 00:01:38.980 align:middle line:84% And I noticed the weird thing was 00:01:38.980 --> 00:01:43.270 align:middle line:84% like when I started blogging, I seem to be talking to somebody, 00:01:43.270 --> 00:01:44.440 align:middle line:90% this you. 00:01:44.440 --> 00:01:46.075 align:middle line:84% But I actually didn't know who it was. 00:01:46.075 --> 00:01:49.590 align:middle line:84% It was like, who is this person I'm talking to. 00:01:49.590 --> 00:01:53.170 align:middle line:84% Seems to be kind of someone I might love or something like, 00:01:53.170 --> 00:01:56.140 align:middle line:90% but I wasn't really sure. 00:01:56.140 --> 00:01:58.600 align:middle line:84% So this is sort of about that experience. 00:01:58.600 --> 00:02:01.750 align:middle line:90% And it's called "Diary/Blog." 00:02:01.750 --> 00:02:07.270 align:middle line:84% "Monday, you are a part of the incompleteness of my afternoon. 00:02:07.270 --> 00:02:10.150 align:middle line:84% The lessons of the motivational speakers of, 00:02:10.150 --> 00:02:13.090 align:middle line:84% et cetera, et cetera, come upstairs. 00:02:13.090 --> 00:02:15.370 align:middle line:90% They see me at my desk. 00:02:15.370 --> 00:02:17.980 align:middle line:84% They raised the ocean one half of three degrees 00:02:17.980 --> 00:02:20.560 align:middle line:90% over a 20-year-old's life. 00:02:20.560 --> 00:02:24.160 align:middle line:84% They take the coffee apart, like it's two. 00:02:24.160 --> 00:02:27.730 align:middle line:84% The articulation-- it comes apart too. 00:02:27.730 --> 00:02:31.180 align:middle line:84% A mother do this, a daughter do this. 00:02:31.180 --> 00:02:35.230 align:middle line:84% Everyone who was near me smells like anise. 00:02:35.230 --> 00:02:39.220 align:middle line:84% Nonetheless, I have been thinking about you at dinner. 00:02:39.220 --> 00:02:41.080 align:middle line:90% I mean, eating dinner. 00:02:41.080 --> 00:02:43.570 align:middle line:90% Please see me on your phone. 00:02:43.570 --> 00:02:46.870 align:middle line:84% My speech is a little bit hard to make up. 00:02:46.870 --> 00:02:49.360 align:middle line:84% I think of myself as a restaurant in Chelsea 00:02:49.360 --> 00:02:51.220 align:middle line:84% that wakes up at 2:00 AM and goes 00:02:51.220 --> 00:02:53.900 align:middle line:90% to a restaurant in Chelsea. 00:02:53.900 --> 00:02:56.860 align:middle line:84% I do not need to look for tanning salons. 00:02:56.860 --> 00:02:58.630 align:middle line:90% I bruise myself. 00:02:58.630 --> 00:03:01.120 align:middle line:90% I get sick on envelopes. 00:03:01.120 --> 00:03:03.460 align:middle line:90% Saturday, you get married. 00:03:03.460 --> 00:03:06.310 align:middle line:84% The room I am constructing feels like alcohol 00:03:06.310 --> 00:03:09.820 align:middle line:84% in my head, which is decorated with conversations 00:03:09.820 --> 00:03:11.680 align:middle line:90% and fake Moroccan lamps. 00:03:11.680 --> 00:03:16.270 align:middle line:84% And everything is in it, even the glass dishes and candles, 00:03:16.270 --> 00:03:19.880 align:middle line:84% even the feet that belong to the feelings. 00:03:19.880 --> 00:03:21.760 align:middle line:90% They are painted red. 00:03:21.760 --> 00:03:24.850 align:middle line:84% Like you, this would seem unappetizing. 00:03:24.850 --> 00:03:28.210 align:middle line:84% In combinations, I have spent many evenings 00:03:28.210 --> 00:03:34.060 align:middle line:84% having tempura green beans and a bottle of Coke to run with you. 00:03:34.060 --> 00:03:36.730 align:middle line:84% Cheryl, where are the planters and the screw gun 00:03:36.730 --> 00:03:40.660 align:middle line:84% that publishes itself on the internet every other year? 00:03:40.660 --> 00:03:43.720 align:middle line:84% Every other year it watches the TV. 00:03:43.720 --> 00:03:47.980 align:middle line:84% When I looked away, you had signed off without saying. 00:03:47.980 --> 00:03:51.340 align:middle line:84% On Thursday, I usually wait to my birthday 00:03:51.340 --> 00:03:53.350 align:middle line:90% to open these photographs. 00:03:53.350 --> 00:03:58.180 align:middle line:84% So there was a time lag between my expectations and the gift. 00:03:58.180 --> 00:04:00.640 align:middle line:84% On Friday, I tell you I want you. 00:04:00.640 --> 00:04:03.490 align:middle line:90% And I want you to know yourself. 00:04:03.490 --> 00:04:06.220 align:middle line:84% And I am very attracted to your eyelids 00:04:06.220 --> 00:04:09.250 align:middle line:84% and the minutes that come between them 00:04:09.250 --> 00:04:12.910 align:middle line:84% and the chairs that think they see volcanoes in your eyes. 00:04:12.910 --> 00:04:16.000 align:middle line:84% And I think you are standing between something I see 00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:17.829 align:middle line:90% and something I don't. 00:04:17.829 --> 00:04:20.920 align:middle line:84% But I don't really have the chair when this occurs. 00:04:20.920 --> 00:04:23.830 align:middle line:84% And you are yourself again and again. 00:04:23.830 --> 00:04:26.935 align:middle line:84% And yesterday, and oh too much comes into this." 00:04:26.935 --> 00:04:33.360 align:middle line:90% 00:04:33.360 --> 00:04:34.620 align:middle line:90% Oh, I think I missed a page. 00:04:34.620 --> 00:04:35.120 align:middle line:90% Ha. 00:04:35.120 --> 00:04:37.320 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHING] 00:04:37.320 --> 00:04:39.942 align:middle line:90% How weird. 00:04:39.942 --> 00:04:41.625 align:middle line:90% That was OK. 00:04:41.625 --> 00:04:43.500 align:middle line:84% All right, I'm going to read the second page. 00:04:43.500 --> 00:04:45.125 align:middle line:84% I've read the first and the third page. 00:04:45.125 --> 00:04:46.740 align:middle line:90% I've only forgotten where I am. 00:04:46.740 --> 00:04:47.910 align:middle line:90% "Tuesday, I know someone. 00:04:47.910 --> 00:04:49.830 align:middle line:90% Her name is Cheryl or Darryl. 00:04:49.830 --> 00:04:51.540 align:middle line:90% And she is an artist. 00:04:51.540 --> 00:04:54.780 align:middle line:84% I know K-Mart is not nearby a lake. 00:04:54.780 --> 00:04:57.960 align:middle line:84% I know the pileated woodpecker and WindSong Cologne, 00:04:57.960 --> 00:05:00.570 align:middle line:90% an aftershave for $7.99. 00:05:00.570 --> 00:05:02.940 align:middle line:90% I know the English fonts. 00:05:02.940 --> 00:05:06.720 align:middle line:84% I know Google because it has completed my attention. 00:05:06.720 --> 00:05:08.850 align:middle line:84% My attention knows a few of my wives 00:05:08.850 --> 00:05:10.815 align:middle line:90% and their former girlfriends. 00:05:10.815 --> 00:05:13.050 align:middle line:84% I and they and everyone I know likes 00:05:13.050 --> 00:05:17.370 align:middle line:84% to gather me around wooden shaped things, like blankets 00:05:17.370 --> 00:05:20.640 align:middle line:84% or teeth sets or the occasional cockroach that 00:05:20.640 --> 00:05:22.980 align:middle line:90% are aromas in my bedrooms. 00:05:22.980 --> 00:05:26.490 align:middle line:84% What are the things that are occasional in kitchens? 00:05:26.490 --> 00:05:28.950 align:middle line:90% Today, I'm like myself. 00:05:28.950 --> 00:05:33.300 align:middle line:84% And you, still so silk-like and/or sullen, 00:05:33.300 --> 00:05:36.300 align:middle line:84% call me if you were not so bored as I am. 00:05:36.300 --> 00:05:39.270 align:middle line:84% Now and then, and now and then tonight, 00:05:39.270 --> 00:05:41.580 align:middle line:84% which is basically the same thing, 00:05:41.580 --> 00:05:44.820 align:middle line:84% I don't like to see taxis, especially coming up 00:05:44.820 --> 00:05:46.500 align:middle line:90% 8th Avenue. 00:05:46.500 --> 00:05:48.840 align:middle line:84% Yet I believe in my own obedience. 00:05:48.840 --> 00:05:52.410 align:middle line:84% Every star is an advertisement for another star. 00:05:52.410 --> 00:05:55.860 align:middle line:84% Every taxi is an advertisement for a bus. 00:05:55.860 --> 00:05:58.500 align:middle line:84% Cheryl is a television set made from wood 00:05:58.500 --> 00:06:00.460 align:middle line:90% and painted to look like you. 00:06:00.460 --> 00:06:01.710 align:middle line:90% You were here. 00:06:01.710 --> 00:06:04.440 align:middle line:90% You were talking to me in Japan. 00:06:04.440 --> 00:06:06.600 align:middle line:90% You were talking to me now. 00:06:06.600 --> 00:06:09.870 align:middle line:84% Then as now, I don't hear you anyway. 00:06:09.870 --> 00:06:13.200 align:middle line:84% I get tired because I am writing like a literary magazine 00:06:13.200 --> 00:06:17.430 align:middle line:84% at the Annual American Book Association meeting 00:06:17.430 --> 00:06:20.100 align:middle line:90% or a snowstorm inside a blog. 00:06:20.100 --> 00:06:26.760 align:middle line:84% Oh, yeah, all I've done today is drink and read your emails. 00:06:26.760 --> 00:06:28.952 align:middle line:90% You forgot to sign your name." 00:06:28.952 --> 00:06:30.160 align:middle line:90% Sorry, that was out of order. 00:06:30.160 --> 00:06:32.327 align:middle line:84% But I don't know that it makes that much difference. 00:06:32.327 --> 00:06:33.740 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHING] 00:06:33.740 --> 00:06:35.000 align:middle line:90%