WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.800 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.800 --> 00:00:02.457 align:middle line:90% Soil rising. 00:00:02.457 --> 00:00:05.040 align:middle line:84% And this begins with an epigraph from Natasha Trethewey, which 00:00:05.040 --> 00:00:08.010 align:middle line:84% reads the ghost of history lies down beside me, 00:00:08.010 --> 00:00:10.380 align:middle line:84% rolls over, pins me beneath the heavy arm. 00:00:10.380 --> 00:00:16.329 align:middle line:90% 00:00:16.329 --> 00:00:18.670 align:middle line:84% My husband's mother wanted to take the family portrait 00:00:18.670 --> 00:00:20.800 align:middle line:90% at Carnton plantation. 00:00:20.800 --> 00:00:24.980 align:middle line:84% I was the only person she called to ask if it was OK. 00:00:24.980 --> 00:00:27.790 align:middle line:84% She said, we could redeem the land with our picture. 00:00:27.790 --> 00:00:31.750 align:middle line:84% My brown skin acrostic to the row of their white. 00:00:31.750 --> 00:00:35.500 align:middle line:84% She said, can we just let the past be the past? 00:00:35.500 --> 00:00:36.190 align:middle line:90% I was silent. 00:00:36.190 --> 00:00:38.480 align:middle line:84% And my cell phone glowing warm against my cheek. 00:00:38.480 --> 00:00:41.800 align:middle line:90% I was driving red light then go. 00:00:41.800 --> 00:00:44.560 align:middle line:84% She said it's practically in my backyard. 00:00:44.560 --> 00:00:47.770 align:middle line:84% And that her boys played on buckled fields of green graves 00:00:47.770 --> 00:00:49.960 align:middle line:90% growing up. 00:00:49.960 --> 00:00:51.850 align:middle line:84% There are so many fun places to shoot oh, 00:00:51.850 --> 00:00:54.430 align:middle line:84% and that big Magnolia is in bloom. 00:00:54.430 --> 00:00:56.560 align:middle line:84% Fragrant milky petals and waxy greens 00:00:56.560 --> 00:00:59.830 align:middle line:84% by the red brick house in the large front porch 00:00:59.830 --> 00:01:02.320 align:middle line:84% with rocking chairs tipping back and fourth 00:01:02.320 --> 00:01:05.238 align:middle line:84% above the purple stains of confederate blood. 00:01:05.238 --> 00:01:07.780 align:middle line:84% I said it was fine as long as we weren't by the slave cabins. 00:01:07.780 --> 00:01:10.240 align:middle line:84% And she laughed and I laughed, which is 00:01:10.240 --> 00:01:12.430 align:middle line:90% to say I wasn't joking at all. 00:01:12.430 --> 00:01:15.130 align:middle line:84% She kept saying redeem as if to say we'll make it acceptable, 00:01:15.130 --> 00:01:17.980 align:middle line:84% restore, and atone buy it back paid off. 00:01:17.980 --> 00:01:20.080 align:middle line:84% Redeem redeeming, she said again. 00:01:20.080 --> 00:01:22.240 align:middle line:84% Her voice swelling like she was singing 00:01:22.240 --> 00:01:24.340 align:middle line:90% and as if we really could. 00:01:24.340 --> 00:01:26.740 align:middle line:84% How do we stand on the dead and smile? 00:01:26.740 --> 00:01:29.980 align:middle line:84% I carry so many black souls in my skin sometimes. 00:01:29.980 --> 00:01:34.660 align:middle line:84% I swear it vibrates like a tuning fork when struck. 00:01:34.660 --> 00:01:36.790 align:middle line:84% A staff officer wrote the wounded and hundreds 00:01:36.790 --> 00:01:38.740 align:middle line:84% were brought to the house during the battle, 00:01:38.740 --> 00:01:40.180 align:middle line:90% and all the night after. 00:01:40.180 --> 00:01:42.430 align:middle line:84% And when the noble old house could hold no more, 00:01:42.430 --> 00:01:44.770 align:middle line:84% and the yard was appropriated until the wounded and dead 00:01:44.770 --> 00:01:46.960 align:middle line:90% filled that. 00:01:46.960 --> 00:01:49.270 align:middle line:84% The plantation was named after cairns. 00:01:49.270 --> 00:01:52.510 align:middle line:84% Prophetic stones marking a mass grave still speaking. 00:01:52.510 --> 00:01:54.790 align:middle line:84% How the body leaves its mark on wood, 00:01:54.790 --> 00:01:58.690 align:middle line:84% plum dark, and greasy from the shots stifled and amputated. 00:01:58.690 --> 00:02:01.930 align:middle line:84% My tongue was caught off when she asked me again. 00:02:01.930 --> 00:02:04.008 align:middle line:90% Are you sure it's OK? 00:02:04.008 --> 00:02:05.300 align:middle line:90% I was waiting at the red light. 00:02:05.300 --> 00:02:08.380 align:middle line:84% My cell phone burned from the hot battery in my hand. 00:02:08.380 --> 00:02:10.000 align:middle line:84% Even the dark layers of dirt must 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:11.560 align:middle line:84% testify at the Battle of Franklin 00:02:11.560 --> 00:02:13.990 align:middle line:84% turn the farmstead into a field hospital. 00:02:13.990 --> 00:02:16.750 align:middle line:84% Thousands of casualties during the war for states' rights, 00:02:16.750 --> 00:02:18.252 align:middle line:90% the brochure said. 00:02:18.252 --> 00:02:19.960 align:middle line:84% And now it's sold out for summer weddings 00:02:19.960 --> 00:02:22.450 align:middle line:84% with mint juleps and sweating silver cups. 00:02:22.450 --> 00:02:25.300 align:middle line:84% Cannon burst from weekend reenactments and photo shoots 00:02:25.300 --> 00:02:26.230 align:middle line:90% for graduation. 00:02:26.230 --> 00:02:29.410 align:middle line:84% Pregnant couples in my new family. 00:02:29.410 --> 00:02:30.610 align:middle line:90% It's raining. 00:02:30.610 --> 00:02:32.920 align:middle line:84% The photographer is snapping and directing us 00:02:32.920 --> 00:02:34.150 align:middle line:90% toward the daffodils. 00:02:34.150 --> 00:02:37.630 align:middle line:84% The shutter opening and closing like a tiny guillotine 00:02:37.630 --> 00:02:39.130 align:middle line:90% clicking. 00:02:39.130 --> 00:02:41.680 align:middle line:84% I'm staring at the black eye clutching my smile. 00:02:41.680 --> 00:02:43.450 align:middle line:84% Light drizzle turning my pressed hair 00:02:43.450 --> 00:02:46.090 align:middle line:84% slowly back to curls the water percolating 00:02:46.090 --> 00:02:48.820 align:middle line:84% weathering its way down to the bright green top soil. 00:02:48.820 --> 00:02:51.430 align:middle line:84% Fertile with the past organic and holy wetness 00:02:51.430 --> 00:02:55.540 align:middle line:84% Dixie myth mixing with iron clay aluminum and revision romancing 00:02:55.540 --> 00:02:58.960 align:middle line:84% the dirt and undead, turning the silt in the subsoil steeping 00:02:58.960 --> 00:03:01.810 align:middle line:84% father down deep, deep into the dark pocket of Earth 00:03:01.810 --> 00:03:03.130 align:middle line:90% to the parent material. 00:03:03.130 --> 00:03:06.580 align:middle line:84% Layers of large unbroken rocks down to the antebellum base 00:03:06.580 --> 00:03:10.600 align:middle line:90% the bedrock of Southern amnesia. 00:03:10.600 --> 00:03:13.985 align:middle line:84% Can we just let the past be the past, she said. 00:03:13.985 --> 00:03:15.610 align:middle line:84% Her voice swelling like she was singing 00:03:15.610 --> 00:03:17.680 align:middle line:90% and as if we really could. 00:03:17.680 --> 00:03:21.310 align:middle line:84% In the portrait, my husband is holding my hand. 00:03:21.310 --> 00:03:25.500 align:middle line:84% His hand that dug for bullets as a boy. 00:03:25.500 --> 00:03:26.000 align:middle line:90%