I think this is mine.
[LAUGHTER]
So there's this figure in Buddhism--
there's this figure in Buddhism, Tara.
And she sits-- in I am going to do two gestures.
I'm going to do one of her, and she sits like this.
She's got a dress on.
One leg is always ready to move her forward.
Right, so she's always ready to get up and assist.
Always ready to get up and assist.
And the other one--
Julie kind of made a joke about this before when Frankie said,
"What's your 'gesture?
And Julie was like--
[LAUGHTER]
I really like that gesture because I
think that, if we're talking about the power that's
in this area, that's very creative,
that can lead me to a lot of other things, that
is very suggestive, to a lot of other things
that I'm not probably even thinking about.
But I can move this energy.
And there's a lot of possibility that this could actually
lead to something up here, sitting over here.
I have a friend that I've danced with a lot in her performance.
She started moving her pelvis a lot and somebody else--
remember that?
It was a part of an improv festival we were part of,
and one of our other company members in this improv
was like, "Go girl," because she was like moving her pelvis
and she's like, "You get here right now boy."
She was trying to like-- he was like calling her out like
that--
The only thing that's coming out of here
is raw sexuality, what's wrong with that?
"But you wanted to."
She's like how?
What?
Do you know what I mean?
Like if you see that, what are you going to think about me?
[LAUGHTER]
I don't know.
The suggestive hip thrust, was what she was--
And that was pretty cool though.
Anyway.
You say.
It's not a writing gesture.
No, all right.
We were just talking about all the porn we watch.
Like sometimes we just get together
to work on some Black Took Collective stuff,
and we sometimes start out by showing each other
our favorite porn, we have porn competitions where
we try to shock each other, this is my favorite,
what's your favorite?
You know.
I don't know if that's a gesture though.
I think it is.
I think it's the decision to sort of--
and I've been thinking a lot about this--
just to watch, to veg in front of it instead of writing.
How much searching can you do to find, not quite
the strangest thing but, sometimes looking for just--
I've been trying to look for--
and I should start--
I've been trying to look for just that real making love
porn, that's the ultimate.
You can do that yourself.
[LAUGHTER]
No you don't.
You don't have to do it yourself.
That's the thing, the gesture is how do you figure out--
I mean, just looking at just the elbows or something,
or just trying to find the intimate moments in the most
volatile porn, or as a gesture in terms
of the field of looking or something.
I don't know if it's my gesture to be--
I don't know what that quite means
but, I'm interested in that gesture of looking,
of adjusting site, or taste, or habit.
It has nothing to do with me, it's not me you know,
it's some other version of--
Yeah.
I'm thinking too about this still body,
like the way in which we are when we're watching,
we're almost completely still, like we're
not moving, we're not interacting,
because what's going on in our own individual bodies,
we're kind of holding in.
I think, right?
You know.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Why do we?
Yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
Because I think it's like this--
I think it has to do with, not quite the shock of it
but, how are we in line with that charge at the same time?
We said well, we both like that.
I'm like, Oh, OK.
I see elements of that.
Because Donna I think likes the shinier version of what I like,
and I sort of like things really her suit and fat,
almost rotting in a way, but it's still the same--
[LAUGHTER]
Go ahead.
No.
I just think it's so interesting that we're talking about sex.
Like this connection between the erotics of writing
and the erotics of the body.
And, it makes me think of this phrase,
"poetry crush" like "Oh, I have such a poetry crush on her."
People say that right?
And that actually we do have this erotic response
to other people's writing, and we write in a sense,
to make like an erotic connection, and that--
I don't know about you guys-- but,
do you have sex dreams about other poets?
You do, right?
Do you?
I do.
You do, and then it's like, what is that dream about?
It's like you want that part.
You don't want the person, you want the writing you know.
And so--
All of the good stuff, all of it assembling.
All of it is assembling.
All right.
But I do have a gesture.
It's not the one I did though, so glad.
Thank you, KJ, for doing that for me
because I'm too shy but--
clearly I'm so shy.
OK.
So, the other dream I have all the time is a dancing dream,
and I don't know if I can do it but, so it's always like--
go back 20 years.
OK.
But it's something very horizontal with the arms, OK.
And so, there's something that--
where those lines are so much about the line of the poem.
So, I think when I have a dancing dream, all the time
and it's basically those movements, or some version
of that, better.
And, I think it's about like creating the line on the page
and, that I always see the writing on the page
before I do the writing, that's the first impulse.
So back to that question, it's not in the body,
it's out there.
There's something that's going to look like this.
It's like, it's going to have this line you know,
so it's like very visual.
And then, the body wants to dance it so,
was that the question?
I forget what the question was?
OK, Yeah.
I have something.
So she's back.
I'm sorry, you go ahead.
No, no, no.
Go ahead.
You're a Black top go ahead.