WEBVTT

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"My uncle Edmund had polio.

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That's what I'm saying.

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I've lived in a time of polio,
of malaria of yellow fever.

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Uncle Edmund was my
grandfather's brother.

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My grandfather loved him dearly.

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He looked after him with
the duty of a beloved.

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This is what it means to love
in a time of epic infection,

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to tend after the inflicted
with the understanding

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that we were all mandated to
live through massive trauma.

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Uncle Edmund lived in Tunapuna.

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We lived in Arouca.

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Sometimes my grandmother
sent me to take food

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to Uncle Edmund in
metal food carriers.

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It was four miles away.

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Sometimes I'd walk and
spend the taxi fare on beer

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on my way back.

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I was 10.

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I lived in the time
of walking places.

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I will tell my children this.

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I am 42.

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I will probably not have any.

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It is Sunday morning
at a lovers house.

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And I am on the verge of
weeping as I say this.

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The food was always still
hot when I got there.

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It was a tropical country.

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You could walk for miles
with a tray of hot food

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and have it stay hot.

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I lived in a time of heat.

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Uncle Edmund's house
smelled dank, cool.

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I remember it as always dark
but this might be a lie.

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I unhinge the trays
from the carrier,

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got an enamel plate
from the cupboard,

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and dish the food out for him.

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So I could take back
the empty carrier.

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So I could bring
him food next day.

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I'd pour him juice made from
reconstituted oranges mixed

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with water and sugar.

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He talked.

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The polio made it hard
to understand him.

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But I nodded, asked him if
everything was to his liking.

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I've lived in a
time of beauty, is

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what I want to tell my children.

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I've lived in a time of love.

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My lover brings me the
hottest, bitterest coffee

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I am grateful for this.

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But I am weeping
for my non-children.

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I never lingered at
Uncle Edmund's, never

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waited until the
end of his meal.

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My grandfather waited until the
end of his meals when he went.

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I went once with my grandfather.

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He spoke to his brother in
low, almost dulcet tones.

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I had never heard him
speak like that before.

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My grandfather loved
my mother dearly.

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She was his adopted child but he
held us both closer than blood.

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I tell you, I've lived
in a time of miracles.

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I've lived because of miracles.

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And I want to tell
my children this.

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Whatever we do we're going to
have to consider immense loss.

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That is all.

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That is the magic of old age.

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Immense loss side
by side with love.

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How amazing to be uncle
Edmund, to be loved

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in a time of polio, and
malaria, and yellow fever,

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and dysentery.

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We all lived in a
time when you could

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send a 10-year-old
on a four mile walk

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and have him complete
a task and return

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on time and with a
beverage to boot.

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My grandfather buried uncle
Edmund in the family plot.

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He lit candles on
all Saints' Day.

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I think we were the only
ones at the funeral.

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This is also what it means
to live in a time of polio,

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to be buried unknown,
but not any less loved

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than the Pope or the president.

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I wanted to tell
my children this.

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We are all worried about not
being good enough for love.

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Imagine all we have.

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Imagine all we love
and live through.

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Imagine what a chance we
have to endure the very

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worst that might come our way.

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[APPLAUSE]

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