"'Sonoran Spotted Whiptail.'"
Eric said we didn't have to dress like our species
but I couldn't help myself.
[LAUGHTER]
"SONORAN WHIPTAIL LIZARD--
PERSONAL AD.
SWL No, not Single White Lady but Sonoran Whiptail
Lizard in search of mate, no make
that independent companion--
I am parthenogenetic in case you didn't know--
I can reproduce without a mate.
So, to continue--
SWL seeks independent companion for fun in Sonoran Desert.
[LAUGHTER]
MUST APPRECIATE a variety of romantic venues--
desert terrain, canyons, hills, low valleys.
Lingering mid-morning sun-baths.
Prolonged winter nap.
[LAUGHS]
Sensuous, lethargic movements with possible scurrying
from one shaded area to another.
[LAUGHTER]
INTERESTS Cloning.
[LAUGHTER]
Epicurean delights-- spiders, termites, grasshoppers.
[LAUGHTER]
Travel, especially hiking, in the Sonoran Desert.
Companion must have no fear of La Migra
when crossing the border.
[LAUGHTER]
REQUIREMENTS Must be very fit, jump with agility,
perform sporadic push-ups.
[LAUGHTER]
Must enjoy welts inflicted with my extremely long
whipping tail.
[LAUGHTER]
Appearance important.
Prefer fashionista who appreciates earth tones,
pin stripes or spotted apparel.
Only serious need apply.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]