WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.440 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.440 --> 00:00:04.260 align:middle line:90% Let me see what this is. 00:00:04.260 --> 00:00:09.000 align:middle line:84% Just a couple more things here, what time do we have? 00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:10.870 align:middle line:90% 22 minutes. 00:00:10.870 --> 00:00:13.048 align:middle line:90% We have time. 00:00:13.048 --> 00:00:14.340 align:middle line:90% I'm going to go to a poem here. 00:00:14.340 --> 00:00:19.005 align:middle line:90% And it's called "Some Worry." 00:00:19.005 --> 00:00:22.230 align:middle line:90% 00:00:22.230 --> 00:00:25.420 align:middle line:84% There's a reference to the kid whose arm traveled 00:00:25.420 --> 00:00:27.360 align:middle line:90% both ways in the ringer washer. 00:00:27.360 --> 00:00:28.920 align:middle line:84% But somehow that was some like always 00:00:28.920 --> 00:00:30.369 align:middle line:90% happened like in the 50s. 00:00:30.369 --> 00:00:32.369 align:middle line:84% You sit there and this thing that was automatic, 00:00:32.369 --> 00:00:34.286 align:middle line:84% didn't turn off, so your arm would go in there 00:00:34.286 --> 00:00:35.400 align:middle line:90% and go out again. 00:00:35.400 --> 00:00:36.990 align:middle line:90% So there's another kid here. 00:00:36.990 --> 00:00:39.330 align:middle line:84% There was Alex and there was someone else whose arm 00:00:39.330 --> 00:00:40.622 align:middle line:90% went through the ringer washer. 00:00:40.622 --> 00:00:44.040 align:middle line:90% 00:00:44.040 --> 00:00:47.892 align:middle line:84% "In second grade--" Oh, no, no, no, no, 00:00:47.892 --> 00:00:49.350 align:middle line:84% that's not the poem I want to read. 00:00:49.350 --> 00:00:52.040 align:middle line:90% 00:00:52.040 --> 00:00:53.010 align:middle line:90% No, I'll read this one. 00:00:53.010 --> 00:00:55.740 align:middle line:90% I like this one too. 00:00:55.740 --> 00:00:57.240 align:middle line:90% They're pretty good. 00:00:57.240 --> 00:01:00.600 align:middle line:84% "In second grade, I still had to stand far away from the urinal 00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:02.670 align:middle line:90% to get my pee in. 00:01:02.670 --> 00:01:04.530 align:middle line:90% This made me nervous. 00:01:04.530 --> 00:01:06.480 align:middle line:84% I opened myself up to bacteria that 00:01:06.480 --> 00:01:09.310 align:middle line:84% floated in the air, bacteria and dust 00:01:09.310 --> 00:01:11.580 align:middle line:90% and the shafts of sunlight. 00:01:11.580 --> 00:01:14.340 align:middle line:84% I worried more and more about disease. 00:01:14.340 --> 00:01:16.860 align:middle line:84% I was still looking at the medical dictionary 00:01:16.860 --> 00:01:21.530 align:middle line:84% and staring at the Chinese boy in the iron lung." 00:01:21.530 --> 00:01:23.520 align:middle line:84% This is just a reference to another poem, 00:01:23.520 --> 00:01:25.260 align:middle line:84% my mom only had two books in the house. 00:01:25.260 --> 00:01:27.390 align:middle line:84% One was the Catholic dictionary, the other one 00:01:27.390 --> 00:01:29.303 align:middle line:90% was the medical dictionary. 00:01:29.303 --> 00:01:30.720 align:middle line:84% And so if you're very keen, you're 00:01:30.720 --> 00:01:32.790 align:middle line:84% looking through the medical dictionary like a cold, 00:01:32.790 --> 00:01:34.457 align:middle line:84% sort of seems like the end of the world. 00:01:34.457 --> 00:01:36.060 align:middle line:90% And they're always magnified. 00:01:36.060 --> 00:01:37.260 align:middle line:90% Looks really bad. 00:01:37.260 --> 00:01:39.210 align:middle line:84% And there was a kid in the iron lung 00:01:39.210 --> 00:01:41.100 align:middle line:90% and he was always looking at me. 00:01:41.100 --> 00:01:43.230 align:middle line:84% "I was still looking at the medical dictionary 00:01:43.230 --> 00:01:47.070 align:middle line:84% and staring the Chinese boy in his iron lung. 00:01:47.070 --> 00:01:49.260 align:middle line:90% Well, we almost became friends. 00:01:49.260 --> 00:01:50.760 align:middle line:90% I would open the dictionary. 00:01:50.760 --> 00:01:54.060 align:middle line:84% By habit, the book fell open to his face. 00:01:54.060 --> 00:01:56.430 align:middle line:84% I looked at him, and more than once I 00:01:56.430 --> 00:02:00.060 align:middle line:84% grew scared because I thought it was my face in the iron lung 00:02:00.060 --> 00:02:04.560 align:middle line:84% picture and if I close the book, I might go away. 00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:07.290 align:middle line:84% I also worried about not feeling enough. 00:02:07.290 --> 00:02:10.020 align:middle line:84% Sometimes when I prayed, my shoulders tangled 00:02:10.020 --> 00:02:12.390 align:middle line:90% and other times I felt nothing. 00:02:12.390 --> 00:02:14.880 align:middle line:84% Sister Mary said glorious things happen when 00:02:14.880 --> 00:02:17.700 align:middle line:90% boys and girls were sincere. 00:02:17.700 --> 00:02:21.390 align:middle line:84% I thought maybe I had forgotten to confess all my sins 00:02:21.390 --> 00:02:24.990 align:middle line:84% and thought maybe because some of my pee fell on the ground, 00:02:24.990 --> 00:02:28.170 align:middle line:90% God was keeping me from feeling. 00:02:28.170 --> 00:02:30.060 align:middle line:90% This scared me. 00:02:30.060 --> 00:02:33.990 align:middle line:84% Feeling was one of the five senses. 00:02:33.990 --> 00:02:36.270 align:middle line:84% And if you didn't feel that meant 00:02:36.270 --> 00:02:40.260 align:middle line:84% you only had four other senses and there was no telling when 00:02:40.260 --> 00:02:43.020 align:middle line:84% you might go blind or one of your best friends 00:02:43.020 --> 00:02:47.220 align:middle line:84% might shoot a cap gun in both of your ears. 00:02:47.220 --> 00:02:52.980 align:middle line:84% Of course, I could cry, what I wanted to return 00:02:52.980 --> 00:02:55.230 align:middle line:90% was a tingle in my shoulders. 00:02:55.230 --> 00:02:57.210 align:middle line:84% For about eight years, I didn't feel 00:02:57.210 --> 00:03:00.180 align:middle line:90% too much and worried a lot. 00:03:00.180 --> 00:03:03.480 align:middle line:84% My eyesight was failing and sometimes I 00:03:03.480 --> 00:03:05.760 align:middle line:84% had a difficult time hearing the teacher talk 00:03:05.760 --> 00:03:07.830 align:middle line:90% about the Euphrates. 00:03:07.830 --> 00:03:12.240 align:middle line:84% But one summer when I was 16 years old, feeling slowly 00:03:12.240 --> 00:03:16.260 align:middle line:84% came back to my shoulders and my face began to turn red 00:03:16.260 --> 00:03:21.300 align:middle line:84% when relatives said, Gary, you have grown tall. 00:03:21.300 --> 00:03:23.790 align:middle line:84% At first, I thought I was getting sick 00:03:23.790 --> 00:03:25.740 align:middle line:84% and became very suspicious of people 00:03:25.740 --> 00:03:28.140 align:middle line:90% who didn't wash their hands. 00:03:28.140 --> 00:03:31.980 align:middle line:84% Then I realized I was becoming more in tune with people. 00:03:31.980 --> 00:03:34.260 align:middle line:84% I got to thinking that maybe this is 00:03:34.260 --> 00:03:42.210 align:middle line:84% how what a saint feels when he's about to do something really 00:03:42.210 --> 00:03:43.530 align:middle line:90% nice. 00:03:43.530 --> 00:03:46.260 align:middle line:84% By this time, I had stopped praying 00:03:46.260 --> 00:03:50.520 align:middle line:84% and the Christ in our bedroom began to glow later and later. 00:03:50.520 --> 00:03:52.920 align:middle line:90% But my feelings returned. 00:03:52.920 --> 00:03:55.320 align:middle line:84% I got in the habit of walking around and singing 00:03:55.320 --> 00:03:56.820 align:middle line:90% made up prayers. 00:03:56.820 --> 00:03:59.280 align:middle line:90% The trees seemed special. 00:03:59.280 --> 00:04:02.550 align:middle line:84% The old Armenian neighbor took a long time to wave, 00:04:02.550 --> 00:04:06.690 align:middle line:84% but eventually he stopped his raking to raise a hand. 00:04:06.690 --> 00:04:09.300 align:middle line:90% At school, my grades improved. 00:04:09.300 --> 00:04:12.210 align:middle line:84% I was startled when I recognized a verb in a sentence 00:04:12.210 --> 00:04:15.360 align:middle line:84% and began to think that maybe teachers were on to something 00:04:15.360 --> 00:04:16.890 align:middle line:90% after all. 00:04:16.890 --> 00:04:20.910 align:middle line:84% I would read the Euphrates, a mighty river that 00:04:20.910 --> 00:04:24.630 align:middle line:84% replenished the Persian empire time and time again, 00:04:24.630 --> 00:04:29.100 align:middle line:84% is a mile wide and more than 20 junctions. 00:04:29.100 --> 00:04:33.550 align:middle line:84% Always when I got to the verb is my face burned a little 00:04:33.550 --> 00:04:35.430 align:middle line:90% and I became happy. 00:04:35.430 --> 00:04:39.600 align:middle line:84% I realized learning was also a bodily thing. 00:04:39.600 --> 00:04:43.230 align:middle line:84% That you could read a really important book and knowledge 00:04:43.230 --> 00:04:46.880 align:middle line:84% would spread into your face and to your chest. 00:04:46.880 --> 00:04:49.770 align:middle line:84% And I began to walk slower in the hallways, 00:04:49.770 --> 00:04:53.160 align:middle line:84% no longer embarrassed about poor grades. 00:04:53.160 --> 00:04:56.370 align:middle line:84% I began to recognize the smart kids because none of them 00:04:56.370 --> 00:04:58.530 align:middle line:90% rushed about a lot. 00:04:58.530 --> 00:05:03.740 align:middle line:84% Since I was now among them, this made me feel OK about myself. 00:05:03.740 --> 00:05:07.100 align:middle line:84% My shoulders tingle, my face turned red 00:05:07.100 --> 00:05:10.970 align:middle line:84% for every class except algebra, which was still--" 00:05:10.970 --> 00:05:15.290 align:middle line:84% and then there's an algebra problem here in this text. 00:05:15.290 --> 00:05:18.890 align:middle line:84% "But by my senior year, these feelings left me. 00:05:18.890 --> 00:05:22.580 align:middle line:84% And when I looked at a verb, my face didn't respond. 00:05:22.580 --> 00:05:25.370 align:middle line:84% The words to prayer seemed silly and the trees 00:05:25.370 --> 00:05:28.430 align:middle line:84% that were once special didn't move as much. 00:05:28.430 --> 00:05:31.280 align:middle line:84% Once in an abandoned house, I almost 00:05:31.280 --> 00:05:34.220 align:middle line:84% cried because the wallpaper was peeling. 00:05:34.220 --> 00:05:38.150 align:middle line:84% And a really sad orange, blue from being forgotten, 00:05:38.150 --> 00:05:42.290 align:middle line:84% was on the floor and not even the ants bothered with it. 00:05:42.290 --> 00:05:45.140 align:middle line:84% And that the Venetian blinds with the kind that hung 00:05:45.140 --> 00:05:46.910 align:middle line:90% in our house in Bradley street. 00:05:46.910 --> 00:05:49.400 align:middle line:84% And no matter how I pulled on the chain, 00:05:49.400 --> 00:05:51.860 align:middle line:90% I couldn't straighten them. 00:05:51.860 --> 00:05:54.650 align:middle line:84% The rooms were crooked with shadows. 00:05:54.650 --> 00:05:58.220 align:middle line:84% The refrigerator blazed with flies and the festering 00:05:58.220 --> 00:06:02.150 align:middle line:84% mold of peaches crawled a cardboard box. 00:06:02.150 --> 00:06:06.860 align:middle line:84% I went room to room, strangling wire coat hangers. 00:06:06.860 --> 00:06:09.380 align:middle line:90% Something was wrong. 00:06:09.380 --> 00:06:13.100 align:middle line:84% On my way back home, I realized for the first time 00:06:13.100 --> 00:06:17.040 align:middle line:84% that the Chinese boy in the iron lung was dead. 00:06:17.040 --> 00:06:23.110 align:middle line:84% His lungs, vests of sorrow, were gone in the black earth." 00:06:23.110 --> 00:06:25.000 align:middle line:90%