WEBVTT

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[POLICE SIRENS]

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Now, in Pacific poetics, we
hardly ever perform alone.

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It's usually a communal act.

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So I'm going to call
for some volunteers.

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So I hope some of the students
I met earlier today will

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volunteer or something.

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But first we're going
to start with the staff.

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I'm going to have
Tyler come up, please.

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Over here by the podium.

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Give him a round of applause.

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[APPLAUSE]

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[LAUGHING]

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And I'm going to have you
two, and you, and you.

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Come up please.

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[LAUGHING]

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These are going to be
our zombies for tonight.

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Now this first poem is called,
"Shoplifting Vienna Sausages."

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One of my favorite
American foods.

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[LAUGHING]

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Tyler is in charge of holding
the sacred can with both hands.

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A little bit lower, a little
bit lower, a little bit closer

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to you.

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Perfect.

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[LAUGHING]

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Now whenever I
mention the phrase,

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Vienna sausages, Tyler will
have to raise the can and smile.

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[LAUGHING]

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And then bring it back down.

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So he'll be doing that
motion throughout my poem.

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[LAUGHING]

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Now I have hidden four
cans of Vienna sausage

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throughout the
audience here today.

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It may be in your
pockets, in your purse.

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It is somewhere.

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My four zombies of
the coming apocalypse

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are going to have to find those
four cans of Vienna sausages.

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And as they're doing, they
have to do it zombie-like.

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And they have to repeat the
phrase, sausage of freedom.

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[LAUGHING]

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Sausage of freedom!

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And have to move
throughout the audience.

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That sound cool?

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Yeah.

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OK.

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If that wasn't
complicated enough,

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there's also a
soundtrack to this poem.

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Let me ask first.

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Raise your hand if you
like Vienna sausages.

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What a bunch of liars.

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[LAUGHING]

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I'm not in the Pacific anymore.

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[LAUGHING]

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All right.

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Fine.

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How many of you like
Bob Marley, Reggae?

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All right.

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All right.

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All right.

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All right.

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So you know, Bob Marley
is big in the Pacific.

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As is Karaoke.

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And so I'm going to play a
Bob Marley kind of karaoke

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"Redemption Song," one of my
favorite Bob Marley songs.

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So as soon as the song
starts, I want my zombies

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to go throughout the stage.

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All into the poem, as
I say Vienna sausage,

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Tyler will do his obscene
gesture throughout.

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I hope you enjoy this poem.

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[LAUGH]

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Ready?

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[MUSIC PLAYING]

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Sausage of freedom!

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"I've only shoplifted once
in my life; a can of Vienna

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sausage just to see
what it felt like.

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As an altar boy, I sang for the
Catholic Boy's Choir in Guam.

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Those priests loved
my little sausages.

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Vienna is supposed to be a city
rich in history and culture,

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but these sausages
have none of that.

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North American
sausages are actually

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made from mechanically separated
chicken, beef, pork, cooked

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in chicken broth.

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When my dad had
the talk with me,

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he sat me down and
said, son, don't ever

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serve Vienna sausages
on the first date

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because they are limp and soft.

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[LAUGHING]

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When I take my toe rings off
after a long day of teaching,

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my toes look and swell
like Vienna sausages.

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Last night after arriving
at the Poetry Center,

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I opened up a can of Vienna
sausage, drank the yummy broth

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and had myself a little feast.

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Then I put my pajamas on,
updated my Facebook status,

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read some avant garde poetry,
and watched some pornography

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before bedtime.

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I had the most pleasant dreams.

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Emancipate yourselves
from fruits and veggies!

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Only imports can feed your kind.

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Have no fear for
diabetes, 'cause

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no disease can stop the grind.

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How long shall we kill our
body while we drive through

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McDonald's?

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Some say it's just our
destiny to swallow their GMOs.

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My future wife who's Hawaiian
prefers a Portuguese sausage

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over a Vienna sausage,
if you know what I mean.

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[LAUGHING]

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Something.

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On my wedding night I hope I'm
able to plump like a ballpark

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frank and not shrivel
like a Vienna sausage.

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Some find it suspicious
that Vienna sausage

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is cheaper than cat
food, yet marketed

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in disturbingly
similar packaging.

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[LAUGHING]

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When military personnel
in Guam go diving,

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they put a Vienna
sausage into a Ziploc bag

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and sprinkle it over the reef.

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In seconds, thousands of
tropical fish swarm like an air

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show.

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My great grandfather
would mash Vienna sausage

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with his rice pudding.

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My grandfather mashed Vienna
sausage between two pieces

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of white bread and some Mayo.

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My dad eats Vienna sausage as
a chaser with his Budweiser.

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[LAUGHING]

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Yeah, I am not ashamed,
because I imagine

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that somewhere in the desert of
Arizona, a shirtless Chamorro

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suffering a severe
case of diaspora

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is kicking back with a Bud
and a can of Vienna sausage,

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saying, ah, this
tastes just like home.

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[MUSIC PLAYING]

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Vienna sausage.

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Thank you.

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[APPLAUSE]