WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.920 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.920 --> 00:00:01.420 align:middle line:90% "The Door." 00:00:01.420 --> 00:00:04.460 align:middle line:90% 00:00:04.460 --> 00:00:07.990 align:middle line:84% "It is hard going to the door, cut so small in the wall 00:00:07.990 --> 00:00:10.780 align:middle line:84% where the vision which echoes loneliness 00:00:10.780 --> 00:00:14.410 align:middle line:84% brings a scent of wildflowers in the wood. 00:00:14.410 --> 00:00:17.590 align:middle line:90% What I understood, I understand. 00:00:17.590 --> 00:00:21.670 align:middle line:84% My mind is sometime torment, sometimes good 00:00:21.670 --> 00:00:26.080 align:middle line:84% and filled with livelihood, and feels the ground. 00:00:26.080 --> 00:00:30.100 align:middle line:84% But I see the door, and knew the wall, and wanted the wood, 00:00:30.100 --> 00:00:33.670 align:middle line:84% and would get there if I could with my feet and hands 00:00:33.670 --> 00:00:34.840 align:middle line:90% and mind. 00:00:34.840 --> 00:00:37.690 align:middle line:84% Lady, do not banish me for digressions. 00:00:37.690 --> 00:00:41.200 align:middle line:84% My nature is a quagmire of unresolved confessions. 00:00:41.200 --> 00:00:43.450 align:middle line:90% Lady, I follow. 00:00:43.450 --> 00:00:45.310 align:middle line:90% I walked away from myself. 00:00:45.310 --> 00:00:46.360 align:middle line:90% I left the room. 00:00:46.360 --> 00:00:47.590 align:middle line:90% I found the garden. 00:00:47.590 --> 00:00:49.030 align:middle line:90% I knew the woman in it. 00:00:49.030 --> 00:00:51.580 align:middle line:90% Together, we lay down. 00:00:51.580 --> 00:00:53.230 align:middle line:90% Dead night remembers. 00:00:53.230 --> 00:00:56.740 align:middle line:84% In December, we change, not multiplied but dispersed, 00:00:56.740 --> 00:01:01.090 align:middle line:84% sneaked out of childhood, the ritual of dismemberment. 00:01:01.090 --> 00:01:03.070 align:middle line:90% Mighty magic is a mother. 00:01:03.070 --> 00:01:05.440 align:middle line:84% In her, there is another issue of fixture, 00:01:05.440 --> 00:01:09.970 align:middle line:84% repeated form, the race renewal, the charge of the command. 00:01:09.970 --> 00:01:12.610 align:middle line:84% The garden echoes across the room. 00:01:12.610 --> 00:01:15.130 align:middle line:84% It is fixed in the wall like a mirror that 00:01:15.130 --> 00:01:19.960 align:middle line:84% faces a window behind you and reflects the shadows. 00:01:19.960 --> 00:01:21.580 align:middle line:90% May I go now? 00:01:21.580 --> 00:01:25.180 align:middle line:84% Am I allowed to bow myself down in the ridiculous posture 00:01:25.180 --> 00:01:30.070 align:middle line:84% of renewal, of the insistence of which I am the virtue? 00:01:30.070 --> 00:01:32.980 align:middle line:90% Nothing for you is untoward. 00:01:32.980 --> 00:01:36.550 align:middle line:84% Inside, you would also be tall, more tall, more beautiful. 00:01:36.550 --> 00:01:37.990 align:middle line:90% Come toward me from the wall. 00:01:37.990 --> 00:01:40.580 align:middle line:90% I want to be with you. 00:01:40.580 --> 00:01:45.100 align:middle line:84% So I scream to you, who hears as the wind and changes, multiply, 00:01:45.100 --> 00:01:48.010 align:middle line:90% invariably, changes in the mind. 00:01:48.010 --> 00:01:51.430 align:middle line:84% Running to the door, I ran down as a clock runs down, walked 00:01:51.430 --> 00:01:53.950 align:middle line:84% backward, stumbled, sat down hard 00:01:53.950 --> 00:01:56.530 align:middle line:90% on the floor near the wall. 00:01:56.530 --> 00:01:58.000 align:middle line:90% Where were you? 00:01:58.000 --> 00:02:00.130 align:middle line:90% How absurd, how vicious. 00:02:00.130 --> 00:02:02.140 align:middle line:84% There is nothing to do but get up. 00:02:02.140 --> 00:02:03.520 align:middle line:90% My knees were iron. 00:02:03.520 --> 00:02:06.550 align:middle line:90% I rusted in worship of you. 00:02:06.550 --> 00:02:07.720 align:middle line:90% For that, one sings. 00:02:07.720 --> 00:02:09.520 align:middle line:90% One writes the spring poem. 00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:11.020 align:middle line:90% One goes on walking. 00:02:11.020 --> 00:02:13.330 align:middle line:84% The lady has always moved to the next town, 00:02:13.330 --> 00:02:15.610 align:middle line:90% and you stumble on after her. 00:02:15.610 --> 00:02:17.740 align:middle line:84% The door in the wall leads to the garden 00:02:17.740 --> 00:02:20.350 align:middle line:84% where in the sunlight sit the Graces 00:02:20.350 --> 00:02:23.380 align:middle line:84% in long Victorian dresses of which my grandmother had 00:02:23.380 --> 00:02:24.550 align:middle line:90% spoken. 00:02:24.550 --> 00:02:27.130 align:middle line:90% History sings in their faces. 00:02:27.130 --> 00:02:29.230 align:middle line:84% They are young, they are obtainable, 00:02:29.230 --> 00:02:32.410 align:middle line:84% and you follow after them also in the service 00:02:32.410 --> 00:02:34.600 align:middle line:90% of God and truth. 00:02:34.600 --> 00:02:36.640 align:middle line:90% But the lady is indefinable. 00:02:36.640 --> 00:02:39.970 align:middle line:84% She will be the door in the wall to the garden in sunlight. 00:02:39.970 --> 00:02:42.620 align:middle line:90% I will go on talking forever. 00:02:42.620 --> 00:02:43.720 align:middle line:90% I will never get there. 00:02:43.720 --> 00:02:46.660 align:middle line:84% Oh, lady, remember me who in your service 00:02:46.660 --> 00:02:51.040 align:middle line:84% grows older, not wiser, no more than before. 00:02:51.040 --> 00:02:52.660 align:middle line:90% How can I die alone? 00:02:52.660 --> 00:02:54.890 align:middle line:84% Where will I be then who am now alone? 00:02:54.890 --> 00:02:59.230 align:middle line:84% What groans so pathetically in this room where I am alone? 00:02:59.230 --> 00:03:01.520 align:middle line:90% I will go to the garden. 00:03:01.520 --> 00:03:02.830 align:middle line:90% I will be a romantic. 00:03:02.830 --> 00:03:04.780 align:middle line:90% I will sell myself in hell. 00:03:04.780 --> 00:03:07.060 align:middle line:90% In heaven also I will be. 00:03:07.060 --> 00:03:09.710 align:middle line:90% In my mind, I see the door. 00:03:09.710 --> 00:03:13.090 align:middle line:84% I see the sunlight before me across the floor beckon to me 00:03:13.090 --> 00:03:17.380 align:middle line:84% as the lady's skirt moves small beyond it." 00:03:17.380 --> 00:03:19.220 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:03:19.220 --> 00:03:20.140 align:middle line:90% Thanks. 00:03:20.140 --> 00:03:21.588 align:middle line:90% OK, then. 00:03:21.588 --> 00:03:23.828 align:middle line:90% Heh. 00:03:23.828 --> 00:03:28.180 align:middle line:90% That's one of those poems that-- 00:03:28.180 --> 00:03:30.310 align:middle line:90% I don't know. 00:03:30.310 --> 00:03:30.820 align:middle line:90% I like it. 00:03:30.820 --> 00:03:31.690 align:middle line:90% I like it, actually. 00:03:31.690 --> 00:03:39.100 align:middle line:84% But I feel-- was it written back about 1956 or '57. 00:03:39.100 --> 00:03:41.740 align:middle line:84% And what I mean is simply that the-- 00:03:41.740 --> 00:03:45.550 align:middle line:84% oh, at times, I wonder in the sense that here, I-- 00:03:45.550 --> 00:03:46.175 align:middle line:90% it is true. 00:03:46.175 --> 00:03:47.800 align:middle line:84% "Where will I be then who am now alone? 00:03:47.800 --> 00:03:50.258 align:middle line:84% What groans so pathetically in this room where I am alone?" 00:03:50.258 --> 00:03:55.410 align:middle line:84% Every time I read that, I think, oh, wow, aren't-- 00:03:55.410 --> 00:03:59.500 align:middle line:90% am't I a real big man after all? 00:03:59.500 --> 00:04:01.360 align:middle line:84% Or do I have to go around whining 00:04:01.360 --> 00:04:03.232 align:middle line:90% for sympathy in this fashion? 00:04:03.232 --> 00:04:04.690 align:middle line:84% So anyhow, I want to read something 00:04:04.690 --> 00:04:10.537 align:middle line:90% a little less indulgent. 00:04:10.537 --> 00:04:11.037 align:middle line:90%