This is called "The Day Zimmer Lost Religion."
This is not advice incidentally, this
is something that happened.
"The first Sunday I missed mass on purpose,
I waited all day for Christ to climb down
like a wiry flyweight from the cross
and clubbed me on my irreverent teeth.
To wade into my blasphemous gut and drop me
like a red hot thurible, the devil roaring in reserved seats
until he got the hiccups.
It was a long cold wave from the old days
when cassocked and surpliced, I mumbled Latin at the old priest
and rang his obscure bell.
A long way from the dirty wind that
blew the soot like venial sins across the schoolyard where
God reigned as a threatening one eyed triangle high
in the fleecy sky.
The first Sunday I missed mass on purpose,
I waited all day for Christ to climb down like the playground
bully, the cuts and mice upon his face agleam
and pound me till my irreligious tongue hung out.
But of course he never came knowing that I was grown up
and ready for him now."
Thank you.