This is a very sophisticated audience.
So I'm not going to worry about this.
I like this poem because I think it
has one of the most beautiful titles in the English language
and I'm very fond of it.
I mean it's right up there with praise
be Diana's fair and harmless light
and meet me in the green garden and home thoughts
from the sea and light shines out of darkness
and things like that.
It's called "The Screaming Shits".
[LAUGHTER]
"I am inside out and turning back again.
My anus is a bullet hole.
My intestines murmur, Zimmer, Zimmer, Zimmer.
Again, the pain rises and plummets like Angel Falls.
What have I done to make my organs dissolve?
I examined my conscience.
I am careful about food.
Eating mostly bland, some little sweet, some sour.
I chew good roughage.
What have I taken in that I must blow out?
Zimmer, Zimmer, Zimmer."
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
I read that poem at the University of Iowa.
And a fellow came up to me afterwards.
And he said, you know, it's really true.
He said, when you have diarrhea, your stomach does say.
It says, Zimmer, Zimmer, Zimmer.
He said, my name is Hopkins and it doesn't
go, Hopkins, Hopkins, Hopkins.
[LAUGHTER]