WEBVTT

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This next poem is called
"Little Yellow Leaf."

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And I recalled recently, I've
forgotten for about a year,

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but I now recall the
impetus of this poem.

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And I think I related not
for just a personal interest,

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but I think that it does help
with the idea of the poem.

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I was doing with--

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the only time I ever
did this kind of thing,

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I was doing a genuine
poetry circuit, which

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means you go around and around.

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[SIGHS]

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[LAUGHTER]

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And you really go, you
really go pretty berserk.

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You go-- give about 12
readings in a row, that's

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what I was doing, I give
12 readings in a row.

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Sometimes two a day
and driving every place

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and, you know, you just--

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it's horrible.

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You end up hating your
poems and hating your voice

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and hating your car.

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[LAUGHTER]

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So it was about the sixth
reading when I was about

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going-- when I
was all beginning,

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I mean the self-hate
business was beginning--

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about the sixth one.

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And I was at this really
small college in Oregon.

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And I was having a coffee after
the reading and sitting around

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and the questions
were very boring.

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[LAUGHTER]

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They were asking-- the ones--

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know-- like, do you really
expect anybody to read

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your poetry and--

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[LAUGHTER]

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And just generally insulting
you in every conceivable way.

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And suddenly out of the empty
air, this voice came that said,

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don't you feel absolutely alone?

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And I turned around and
it was this pretty girl.

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[LAUGHTER]

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So there was a shocking
question at that point

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because I was trying very
hard to say exactly what they

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wanted me to say.

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Everything they wanted
me to say, I'd say.

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That's the best thing to do.

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[LAUGHTER]

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And so I was trying--

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Do you really expect
anybody to read your poetry?

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No.

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You know, you say everything
that they want you to say.

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So this girl said that
and I was stunned.

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And I go on-- the next--

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I go out and get in the
car and drive 150 miles

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and get out and go to
another small college.

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And I'm going along reading
and all of a sudden I

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see that girl in the audience.

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[LAUGHTER]

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And this happened
the next five days,

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and I didn't say anything.

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I didn't ever say
anything to her

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but she was always sitting
there in the center of the room,

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just sitting there.

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And finally, about
the fifth time

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it happened, right in the middle
of a poem I was reading along,

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and I saw her and I
couldn't say another word.

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[LAUGHTER]

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Just-- so I asked her if
she wanted to go get a beer.

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[LAUGHTER]

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And then I had to give
another reading that night.

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And I said, are you
going to be at that one?

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And she said she
would be there indeed.

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And so it was at Corvallis.

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It was reading.

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When I finally asked her if she
wanted a beer it was in Eugene

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and then I was driving up
about 60 miles to Corvallis

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and she said she'd be there.

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So I left the pizza
parlor and got in the car

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and started driving and
there was a blizzard.

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And I got there and I
gave the reading and I--

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as a matter of fact,
though I was really

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at the end of the line,
really going wacky,

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I tried very hard to give an
exceptionally good reading,

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and I thought it was
a pretty good reading.

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And when it was
all over, everybody

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started filing out the door
and everybody kept filing out,

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she wasn't there.

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So I nearly went crazy.

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[LAUGHTER]

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And her name, I remember
her name was Vicky.

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And I knew what town she was
from, she was from McMinnville,

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Oregon, if you're ever there.

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And--

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[LAUGHTER]

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I called the
operator and I said--

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I called McMinnville, Oregon
and I asked for a Vicky.

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And the operator--
and the operator

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gave me her number, right?

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[LAUGHTER]

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And I talked to her and she said
that she had fallen in a ditch.

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[LAUGHTER]

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And so she came down.

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Then she came down right away.

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But this poem is a lot more
serious than any of that.

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Well, I think you'll--

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even though that's a
silly anecdote I think

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you'll see how--

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I think it's
relevant to the poem.

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There's an idea--
I mean, I wasn't

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just telling --there is an
idea that I had about that.

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And this was written
up in the mountains

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during a blizzard in Oregon.

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It's called "Little
Yellow Leaf."

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A woman's pink body
could be preserved

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separate from the
mass and the mill

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and anonymous though urgent
love capable of disassembling

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the rest of us like a pure
white puzzle or an essay

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fraught with hyphens.

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Preserved forever
inside a glacier,

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she moves across the
valley like a violin.

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Our gladness flares like a
pheasant in an empty field.

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How strong the need to
comprehend the little lights

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and bells inside our
heads when she slides by.

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Avalanches will begin soon and
maybe flood the town below.

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I think I know her name.

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Her name is Little
Yellow Leaf, I

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should not let the others know.

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She is deathless dream.

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She holds loose and
spare parts of loss lives

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together with one
slender revolving finger.

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The world needs a love
it cannot buy or chain.

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Untouchable Little Yellow Leaf,
lure us beyond loss and gain.

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Let profit be the love we part
with and failure the first day

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of the rest of our lives.

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[APPLAUSE]

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