Continuing the idea of what happened to the last frontier
I have a poem that perhaps Robert
Bly read when he was here.
He organized a series of anti-Vietnam War
read ins of poets and I read in some of them with him.
And an anthology was published called Where is Vietnam?
American Poets Respond.
And mine is a satirical prose tirade
called "Where is Vietnam?"
And it's related to Vietnam the way
Norman Mailer's latest book is related to Vietnam, the title
of which is Why We Are in Vietnam, I believe
or Why Are We in Vietnam?
"Where is Vietnam?"
"Meanwhile, back at the ranch--
[APPLAUSE]
--the then President also known as Colonel Cornpone
got out a blank army draft and began
to fill in the spaces with men.
And Colonel Cornpone got down to the bottom of the order where
there is a space to indicate just
where the troops are to be sent and Colonel Cornpone
got a faraway look in his eye and reached out
and started spinning a globe of the world.
And as I wandered over the spinning surface of the world
and after a long time he said, I see no relief.
So they brought him a relief map of the world.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
And he looked at it a long time and said,
thank you gentlemen I see it all very clearly now.
Yes indeed, everything stands out very clearly now.
And I can see the oceans themselves rolling back
and Western civilization still marching westward
around the world.
And the new Frontier now truly knows no boundaries.
And those there Vietnamese don't stand a Chinaman's chance
in hell, but still there's all these Chinamen
who think they do.
And also they think they can also actually reverse
the Westward march of civilization
and actually reverse a natural Westward spin of our globe.
But gentlemen, these are not war games,
this is not space angels, this is the real thing, gentlemen.
And I know right exactly where this here Vietnam
is, gentlemen.
And I want to make doubly sure that all our own people know
right exactly where this here Vietnam
is, gentlemen in case any of you should happen to get cornered
by some eggheads or someone
And just then Ladybird came running
and Colonel Cornpone stepped into the cloakroom
and whispered to her, the world really does rotate Westward,
don't it?
And she being smarter than he as is usually
the case whispered back that this here Vietnam was not
a place but a state of mind.
And Colonel Cornpone got that old faraway look again
and stepped back onto the front porch where they
keep the rockers and sat there rocking for a long time
and then said, gentlemen, I am a family man
and this is for real.
And I am hereby ordering the complete and final liberation
of Vietmind, I mean Vietnam, for the roots of the trouble
are found wherever the landless and oppressed,
the poor and despised stand before the gates of opportunity
and are not allowed Across the frontier
into the Great Society which seems to lie out before me like
a land of dreams.
And so, gentlemen here we go.
Fasten your seatbelts.
We are powerful and free and united
there ain't much we can do.
And so gentlemen, let me point out
to you exactly where it is we are all
going on this here globe.
Because gentlemen even though I am reputed never
to have been out of the United States and its possessions I do
know right where we are going on the brink of Vietmind,
I mean Vietnam.
And even though we don't want to stop the world spinning
in the right direction even for an instant I do
want to slow it down just long enough for me to put
my finger for you right on this here sore spot which
is Vietmine, I'm in Vietnam.
And Colonel Cornpone put out his hand
to slow down the world just a bit.
But this world would not be slowed down a bit,
this world would not stop spinning at all.
And Texas and Vietnam spun on together faster and faster
slipping away under Colonel Cornpone's hand
because the surface of this world
had suddenly become very, very slippery
with a strange kind of red liquid
that ran on it across all the obscene boundaries.
And this world went on spinning faster and faster
in the same so predestined direction
and kept on spinning and spinning and spinning
and spinning and spinning."
[APPLAUSE]