WEBVTT

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I grew up with a lot
of familial silence,

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and I didn't understand
what that moment was

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like for me when I had to
process this tragedy that

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just happened that
was a lot more fresh.

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But also in the
background of everything

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that happens in
Cambodia is the need

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to process the genocide as well.

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And like I said, I grew up
with a lot of familial silence,

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but sometimes my father
would tell me stories.

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And this poem I'm going
to read is in his voice.

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The radio brings news.

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When I told lies,
he says, the grass

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grew so fast it hid
the whole field.

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The river drowned
the men with guns,

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and flowers wilted over
their bodies in apology.

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But nothing happened if the lie
wasn't good enough, like when

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I said, "I love my country.

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I love my people.

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I want to be a communist
too," and I'd raise my axe

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and hack the dirt for my spoon
of rice, for my cup of soup.

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The river was clear.

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The river was fresh.

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If only I was a log
if only I was a bird,

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I would have freed myself.

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Once the soldier asked
me why I worked so hard,

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his uniform nice.

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I lied to him and pounded
my fist to my chest.

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And then he left me alone.

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At night, the radio crackled
and someone dimmed the volume

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so fast you might have
thought the sound of static

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was grass growing.

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In the dark, I listened closely.

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I thought I heard escape.

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I thought I heard Thailand.

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I thought I heard
the soldier asking me

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if I wanted to run away
with him and five others

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tonight, if I wanted to eat.

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